Missing: Bob

Bob was like a member of the family – a quiet, shy, respectful family member.

Bob would quietly see me off to work in the morning and then wait patiently for my return at the end of the day. He always listened to my problems and didn’t once interrupt me to complain about his day. He was my friend and confidant.

Bob loved to dress up and it was Bob’s enthusiasm for costumes that made the holidays enjoyable and memorable. For St. Patrick’s Day, Bob loved to wear a leprechaun hat. For Easter, his choice would be the bunny ears. On Halloween, we would break out the “Scream” mask. Christmas meant the most to Bob, so he insisted on wearing nothing but a big red bow and a Santa Hat. Bob loved to pose for photos and could bask in the limelight and admiration for hours on end.

Bob was with us for 5 years and then one April morning, I discovered Bob was missing. My immediate thoughts were that Bob simply wandered off in the night, met a girl and simply misplaced himself. I figured he would turn up, sooner or later, but when he didn’t I immediately began a search of our yard and neighborhood. I scoured the wooded areas, surrounding fields and canvassed our neighbors. I sent e-mails to friends asking them to keep a look out for Bob. Bob was gone and I was distraught when the realization came to me that Bob had been taken.

I could not fathom how someone could take Bob from his home, in the middle of the night. The sanctity of my home had been violated. I had no other choice - I called the police.

Police Dispatcher: How can we help you?
Me: Yes, I like to report a theft.
Police Dispatcher: When did the theft occur?
Me: Sometime during the hours of 11:00 pm and 8:00 am.
Police Dispatcher: What was taken?
Me: Bob
Police Dispatcher: Can you give me a description of Bob?
Me: Yes. He is approximately 3 feet tall, is bald, has grayish coloring.
Police Dispatcher: O.K., does he have any recognizable features?
Me: Y es. His nose has been broken and there is a piece missing. Oh yeah and he doesn’t have any arms or legs.
Police Dispatcher: Ummmm…o.k. Can you tell me approximately how much he weighed?
Me: Yes. He was approximately 150 lbs.
Police Dispatcher: Could you make a positive identification of Bob if we found him?
Me: Of course. He was like family.
Police Dispatcher: Do you have any photos of Bob that we could use in identifying him?
Me: Yes.
Police Dispatcher: O.K., I will send a detective over to your house to pick up the photo shortly.

That was 3 years ago and Bob has yet to be located - although I suspect the police have given up actively looking for him. Not a day goes by that I don't wonder about what became of Bob. He had a great life with our family and regardless of where he is now; I hope he is being treated with the love and respect he deserves.

Bob, you are missed...

True Story...


K13 said…
omg - you are too funny. at first I thought Bob was a dog...
otin said…
Who would steal bob?? People are so weird!
Brian Miller said…
this is a heartbreaking tale of loss...i hope bob is safe somewher out there in the big scary world...it was probably teenagers...i know i am typecasting...just remembering...sad.
Sylvia said…
By the description, I thought it was a cat!
JW.BW said…
If someone stole my Bob Id kick their ass!!! Im sorry you havent found him. Thats awful!! People SUCK!!
Judge Fudge said…
Maybe he went back to his native Easter Island to visit family.
Chrissy said…
150 pounds? Sorry about Bob. He sounds wonderful.
That is so funny. I thought it was a dog, then an African Grey bird, LOL. I love the police conversation.


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