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Showing posts from September, 2009

I Rocked And Rolled All Nite...(sort of)...

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The KISS concert was FANTASTIC last night.It was just what I needed to vent some pent up energy – WHOOO HOOO!!!

They took the stage at 9:00 and played until 11:30.Two and a half hours of non-stop Rock & Roll was a spectacle of awesomeness (if there is such a thing).
It’s hard to believe that this band has been touring for 35 years and can still manage to keep a crowd entertained while prancing around in those platform boots.
I would say the highlight of the evening would be the drum solo by Eric Singer.I didn’t think it was physically possible for someone’s arms to move at that rate of speed for such a constant period of time.Seriously, it lasted for at least 10 minutes!
We had excellent seats and I’m thankful J had the foresight to bring ear plugs because without them, I would be hearing impaired today.As it is, my internal organs are still vibrating and my heart beat hasn’t returned to its original rhythm.Is it possible for heart arithema to be caused by too much rock & roll?

Misery and Passion...

Holy crap, here I go again.It’s Tuesday morning and before I have even had a chance to finish my first cup of coffee, I’ve ran out of things to do.How the hell am I going to make it through the next 8 hours?
I’m starting to get the feeling that I am a certain someone’s insurance policy.It’s like I’ve been brought here for no other reason than a potential backup for the scenario “in case someone gets hit by a bus”.This scenario in the corporate world, I believe is called cross training.Yep, it makes perfect sense - considering I am serving no other real purpose than taking up space and sucking up air that could otherwise be used by the actual participating, contributing members of working society.Once I again, I ponder my future.
I can’t seem to win.When I have enough work to keep me busy and the days are whizzing by, I am stuck working for asses in a virtual hell-hole.Then, when I finally have an employer that I enjoy working with, I don’t have enough work to get me through the first ho…

Stupid Question Day...

Now, I’ve heard the saying that “there is no such thing as a stupid question”. Well let me tell you - those individuals that believe this were blessed to have never crossed paths with a stupid person or they are either stupid people themselves and don’t recognize the signs. For every stupid person, there are at least as many stupid questions and therefore, I bring you today…

“Ask A Stupid Question Day” – September 28th.

Here are a few of my favorites (courtesy of Brain Candy) - some are stupid, others are pure genius…
Do you know where you lost it? Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?How does a person with a lisp pronounce that word?How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold?Why can't we tickle ourselves?Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?Why do we need t…

Cookies for the Season...

I found this recipe at Run Betty Run's blog and since it looked pretty good, I did what any cookie lover would do - I forwarded it to our office receptionist and said "boy, these cookies look really good". Magically, a batch appeared on my desk the very next day...just like the carrot cake did a few weeks ago. I'll say it again...I LOVE that girl.

Anyhow, in the event you want to give them a try, they are really easy to make (so I'm told) and I have a first hand account of their tastiness.

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 C whole-wheat flour
1 C ground quick oats
1 T cinnamon
2 T cornstarch
1 t fine sea salt
1 t baking powder
1/2 C butter
1 1/2 C sugar
1/2 C pumpkin purée
1 T pure vanilla extract
1 C chocolate chips

In a medium bowl, blend flour, oats, cinnamon, cornstarch, salt, and baking powder.

In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar. Stir in pumpkin and vanilla until combined.

Fold dry ingredients into wet, until combined. Stir in chips.

Place cookies on pa…

Random Thoughts - Racoons and Asses...

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Three months from today is Christmas.By this time on Christmas Day, the turkey will be in the oven, the presents will have been opened and I will be well on my way to a rum and egg nog buzz.Ahhh – good times….
There were seven roadkill raccoons along my commute route this morning.Seven seems like an unusually high number - perhaps there was some sort of mass raccoon suicide plot I wasn’t aware of.At least it wasn’t the skunks.
My dreams of running a marathon have been cut short – I’ve been sidelined with by a pre-existing injury.As far as the running coaches know, they are at fault - by making me run like a lunatic and not letting me stop for a rest (while enjoying a strawberry shake at Burger King).
I was so inspired by Chrissy’s Boob Envy post that I thought I would share a secret with you – I love my ass(es).Best described as cute, perky and soft to the touch and while probably a little larger than average, I’m satisfied with the appearance and would invite you to take a look.



I told y…

I'm Fabooo...

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This fabulous fantastical award came from my friend Chrissy @ I Shoulda Been a Stripper. Thanks Chrissy!

The requirements for this award are to post the award on my blog, linking it to the presenter. Next, I must list only 5 of my biggest obsessions. And last, but not least, I must pass this award on to 5 other worthy bloggers.

So, here are today's 5 biggest obsessions:

1. Travel & Adventure. I spend my days dreaming of travel destinations and scheming of how I can get there. I’ve even offered to "take one for the team" and move to Australia to open up a company field office, but management isn’t buying what I’m selling. *sigh*

2. Being Busy @ Work. My day is typically spent reading e-books, blogging and surfing the internet. Basically – I’m a professional time waster, which just gives me more time to lust over my travel needs.

3. Afternoon Naps on Weekends. My weekend plans are structured strictly around nap time - my nap time.

4. Weight Loss. Just like Chris…

I Want Wednesdays...Beach Edition

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Since the Lotto Fairy hasn’t granted my wish to become a millionaire, I’ve resigned myself to settling for the smaller things in life. In this installment of “I Want Wednesdays”, I want…
Portable Speaks for my iPod.Two of my favorite things are the beach and music and with this little addition, I could enjoy both in one.
Portable Grill.I love to eat and typically all I can think about when I’m lying on the beach is “is it lunch yet?”O.K. that thought is not reserved solely for the beach… you get the point – I’m always hungry.This handy little item could solve my problem.

Bottle Opener Sandals.Now, I need to find a portable beer fridge than runs on AA’s …

Beer Belly. Yes, I already have one of these and expect that it might get even larger if I had one of these. It's a little large and I can just imagine the tan lines it will leave, but if I can't find the portable beer fridge, this might serve me well enough in a pinch or if it doesn't come in my size, I'll settle for th…

Smell You Later...

My grandma used to say that “a skunk can’t smell its own scent”. This comment was usually in response to my grandpa passing gas and then acting all innocent when everyone else within his vicinity was left gagging and fleeing the room.

Last night was a pleasantly warm evening and in order to enjoy what remains of the summer-like weather, I had left the bedroom windows open – content to enjoy the warmth of the evening, the gentle breeze caressing the curtains and the sounds of the crickets lulling me to sleep.

I had no sooner settled in to bed and just started to drift into a gentle slumber when the smell hits me. At first it was a slight whiff of something that I couldn’t quite place. Although it wasn’t pleasant, it wasn’t quite offensive either, but as I was lying there, the smell gained momentum – coincidentally, as J shifted positions and ruffled the covers. Hmmm, something was amiss.

“What the hell did he eat?” was my first thought, but if I’ve learned one thing in these cases, it…

Workplace Hazards - Compliment Whores...

Maybe it has something to do with the world becoming overly “politically” correct.Everyone is afraid to speak their minds, in worry that they may offend someone.Instead, the world had turned into false greetings and trivial conversation.What for?I say, “Let the chips fall where they may, life’s too short to suffer mindless boredom.”
Contrary to the popular belief, I’m pretty accepting.I will go out of my way to be of assistance to a co-worker in need (provided they haven’t offended me first).No job is beneath me (well almost, but it depends on who you are).I never expect anyone to do anything for me that I wouldn’t be willing to do myself and I expect the same in return; however I will seldom ask for the assistance of others, as I simply find it easier to do it myself.There is one exception to my co-worker nicety rule - I can’t stand trivial nothingness, or high pitch squeals of delight accompanied by discussions of the latest weekend shoe or accessory purchases.
A co-worker, who I have…

Seriously?? What Was He Thinking???

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I was feeling pretty good after my “Fall” post of yesterday and was slowly coming to terms with the cold reality that after Fall comes the shitiest time of year Winter.According to my calendar, I should have approximately another 6 more weeks of semi-tolerable weather.I was feeling fine…until…

While enjoying my morning coffee, my jackass lovely husband had taken it upon himself to stomp on my fantasy of everlasting warmth and informs me that he has made an appointment for my snow tires to be put on my car in last week of October.While I applaud his forward-thinking nature, WTH was he thinking?You would think that he has learned that I will not tolerate that kind of trash-talk in my household.

And then, since he’s on a roll, he decides that perhaps we should make a trip to Home Depot tonight and purchase this:
Cub Cadet 28" Snow Thrower (Photo Courtesy of Home Depot)
His explanation:“We should get one early.Remember last year, they sold out.”
Me:“You know if you bring it home - IT will…

Coming Soon to Canada...

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I certainly don’t require a calendar to point out the fact that the autumnal equinox in the Northern Hemisphere is next Tuesday – September 22nd and being located north of the 49th parallel, it becomes apparent early on what next week will bring – Fall. I love the Fall season, I just don’t like what comes after it…brrrr Signs of Fall in Canada…When I wake up, it’s dark and when I leave for work, it’s still dark and soon, I will be driving home in the dark as well.It’s no wonder, I feel like a sun-deprived mole 85% of the year.The overnight temperature is dipping lower and lower.My wooly socks have once again become a part of my nightly ensemble.Soon it will be time to put away the cotton sheets in exchange for the flannel ones and electric blanket.The Canada Geese have begun to fly in their famous “V” pattern and my deck is directly beneath their daily flight pattern.Damn flying rodents… I can’t quite figure out where there going because they certainly aren’t headed south.
Soon I will ha…

Words of Wisdom...

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Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. No one is listening until you pass gas. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. Give a man a fish a…

“Running won't kill you, you'll pass out first!”

Well, after last night and the torture/running clinic, I’m happy to report the following:

The running instructor chose a ghetto route for our first run. There is nothing like a little visual motivation to keep you running and the verbal heckling from the crack heads and AA rejects certainly provided some positive reinforcement.It was a 3K running clinic, so silly me thought we should have stopped at the 3K mark, but apparently the instructor didn’t get THAT memo and we ended up finally stopping at 2.25 miles or 3.6K. It may have been my cursing and threat of a lawsuit that suddenly encouraged her change of heart. There were three running instructors in total and each one of them would ask at alternating intervals “Are you having fun? Are you feeling any pain?” WTH? I couldn’t even manage a breath to respond to those stupid inquiries and as God as my witness, if I could have caught up to any of them, I would have tackled them to the ground and kicked them in the shins.When my frie…

Run Fat Boy Run...

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After surviving the temptations of high school and college and learning how to effectively say “NO” throughout adulthood; I have finally snapped and caved into peer pressure.I am a hypocrite.I am about to do something that I never thought I would. I am disappointed in myself and ashamed by my actions and now my only hope is that I do not bring shame upon my family.
What have I done?Well apart from losing my mind, in a moment of weakness, I have agreed to join a friend and train for a 3K.Seriously what was I thinking? I despise running and particularly hate all the sweating, wheezing, breathless, nausea-related parts and unless I’m being chased by a raging rhinoceros, I would prefer not to do it.
It’s always something I thought I might be interested in doing and competing in a triathlon is one of those things on my bucket list.In honesty, it’s that one thing I’ve put on the list to force me to do everything else on the list first – not thinking I would actually have to follow through and…

Just a Photo (or Three)....

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As fall is quickly approaching, I thought I would share a few photos that were taken by J in our backyard this past weekend. I love my gardens this time of year and need these photos of a reminder in order to get me through the cold, dark days of winter...

Monarch & Butterfly Bush (hmmm, I wonder why it's called that?)


Toad Lily


Grasshopper

Sensitivity in an Insensitive World...

I’ve never been an overly sensitive person – at least not until recently.Understand that I am fairly sensitive to others feelings, but I’m not easily offended by others actions towards me.Having said that, lately I’m finding myself bothered by little things – little things that would have typically either gone unnoticed or I would have shrugged off as stupidity on the part of the offending party.Maybe it’s just that I have more time to dwell on these little things or perhaps the little things aren’t so little after all.Whatever it is, I don’t like it and hope it leaves as fast as it arrived, as I much prefer my impervious nature.Sensitivity sucks!
There are a few things that are guaranteed to set me off and once I’m off, we’ve surpassed the point of no return.The #1 thing that sends my blood pressure boiling is being called (to my face) “miserable”, “grumpy”, “bitchy” or any similar form of slander.Feel free to call me what you will behind my back, but seriously to my face?98% of the t…

I Want Wednesdays...Shiny Objects Edition...

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In this edition of “I Want Wednesdays”, I’ve decided to dream big.

I’ve always said that if I won the lottery (or found myself a sugar daddy), I would give more to charity – both in time and money, I would travel more and work less (if at all) and of course, I’d help friends and family.

Ultimately, I believe I wouldn’t change and I used to believe that I wouldn’t splurge on frivolous items. I’ve recently rethought that moral stance and am no longer committed to taking the high road and solely doing good for others. It’s all about me today and if I was ever to win an obscene amount of money, I would splurge and these are a few of the things that I would purchase.

D&G Sunglasses – I love sunglasses and my choices would no longer be limited by cost.


D&G Purse – I love how the purse matches the sunglasses and it would be large enough to carry around all of my money.


D&G Footwear – Of course, I would kill myself walking in these (if I could get them over my ham-like calves),…

What I Did On My Summer Vacation - An Essay...

Well technically, I didn’t take a summer vacation, but I thought it would be fun to take a look back at the Summer of 2009 and reflect for a moment.
The weather was the worst possible in memory.Although I do have a selective memory and could be embellishing the facts because I’m slightly jaded that Labor Day signals the “end of summer” for me, I stand by the statement that this summer’s weather was crappy.June and July were the rainiest on record (at least it was where I live near the North Pole) and August was colder than usual.I don’t know what I’ve done to piss off Mother Nature, but I’ve certainly been punished – perhaps it’s my lack of enthusiasm for the winter season. After 3 years, J and I completed the last phase of our deck and landscaping in the backyard.It looks fantastic and perhaps next summer, I will actually be able to enjoy it. I’d post a picture if J wasn’t paranoid that some internet stalker will be able to identify where we live by the photo and show up unannounced in…