Smell You Later...

My grandma used to say that “a skunk can’t smell its own scent”. This comment was usually in response to my grandpa passing gas and then acting all innocent when everyone else within his vicinity was left gagging and fleeing the room.

Last night was a pleasantly warm evening and in order to enjoy what remains of the summer-like weather, I had left the bedroom windows open – content to enjoy the warmth of the evening, the gentle breeze caressing the curtains and the sounds of the crickets lulling me to sleep.

I had no sooner settled in to bed and just started to drift into a gentle slumber when the smell hits me. At first it was a slight whiff of something that I couldn’t quite place. Although it wasn’t pleasant, it wasn’t quite offensive either, but as I was lying there, the smell gained momentum – coincidentally, as J shifted positions and ruffled the covers. Hmmm, something was amiss.

“What the hell did he eat?” was my first thought, but if I’ve learned one thing in these cases, it’s best to lie still and “play dead” because movement just makes the matters worse, much, much worse.

At first, I try ignoring the smell, willing myself to sleep, but as it starts to overcome my survival instincts, I’m forced to roll away from the offending smell.

Me: “Holy hell, you stink. What did you eat today – cabbage and beans?”

J: “Me? I thought it was you.”

Me: “It’s not me. Woman don’t fart, they poof and poofs DO NOT smell like that.”

J: “Well it’s not me.”

Me: “You wouldn’t admit it even if it was you. Besides skunks can’t smell their own scent.”

J: “What does that even mean?”

As we continue to argue about whose to blame for the offending odor and the meaning of that stupid statement, I realize the smell is coming from outside the bedroom window, which is directly above our heads. As I look out the window, I see the skunk sauntering away – taking his sweet ole time, most likely laughing its ass off.

Although, I had immediately closed the bedroom windows, it was too late and by then, the odor had completely infiltrated the entire bedroom and had lodged itself in my taste buds.

Lesson learned: Don’t play dead in all life or death situations; sometimes quick and decisive action is the only course of action.

Comments

That is hilarious! I don't mean to laugh at you but that is funny! Did you 2 move into the living room after the surprise attack? Hope you got to sleep eventually :) Have a good day :)
K13 said…
I agree - that's a hilarious story, but ugh, I can only imagine the stench it left in there for you.
Brian Miller said…
ha. that is a great truth...an unfortunate way to be reminded...lol. i got the giggles honestly, b/c this totally sounds like something i would get blamed for.
M.J. said…
You must not live in a city like I do....otherwise it would be gentle breezes of smog and the sound of traffic and sirens lulling you to sleep.
@SA - Sleep came eventually - after 1/2 a bottle of Febreeze.

@K13 - The smell was awful and it was lingering a little this morning too. Hopefully it will be gone by the time I get home tonight.

@Brian - I just knew that you can relate. LOL

@MJ - No, we live in the country and it serves me right for keeping my window open. Damn nature...
CrazyCris said…
lol! I'm laughing myself off my chair over here! :p

have only smelled those guys in road kill during road trips... and those brief intense seconds (you never saw the cadaver, but you could always smell it( were more than enough!

I'm guessing you spent the rest of the night on the sofa? ;o)
Sylvia said…
Skunks are amazing, aren't they? They drop the "bomb" and leave innocently,without being noticed; don't even bother to run away. (No second meanings in this sentence; I'm against any kind of war). I like them, I don't know why.
- Renée - said…
Ugghh.. I hate skunks.. Especially on summer nights when you want cool and fresh air to come into the house and all you get is skunk smell! A couple summers ago we had a skunk that would come near the house every night and boy was it annoying... and stinky!
Don't let him fool you...It was him for sure.

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