29 December, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts


Today’s version of Random Thoughts is all about honesty.



I’m always excited to see Christmas come, but I’ll be honest – I’m equally excited to see it go. I like it when my version of normalcy returns, as skewed as it may be. Although when I receive my credit card statement, I’ll be wishing I was permanently living in an alternate dimension.



Today is the first day back at work since December 23rd and I’m going to say that it is AWESOME to be here for a few reasons. Reason one - I love my family and my afternoon naps, but I’ll be honest – I’m tired of looking at them, cooking for them and cleaning up after them. Reason two - I can’t possibly stand watching Rio Bravo (again) or any other damn John Wayne western that happens to be on television. Reason three – there isn’t anyone else in my immediate vicinity at work today, so it’s like I’m by myself. Ahhh, it’s so peaceful…almost heavenly.



In family tradition, J, the Boy and myself set out on December 26th to score some “Boxing Day” deals. We were up at the crack of stupid, drove an hour to the city, found parking spots at various big box outlets and then proceeded to battle the crowds – again and again. What in the hell possessed me to do something so stupid is beyond me. My time is worth far more than what my family saved on the supposed deals. I spent more time driving around (J’s driving makes me car sick), parking the car, fending off rude and stupid people, waiting in line and hoofing it to and from the car to the stores. The only thing I got for myself on Boxing Day was a speeding ticket since I was in such a hurry to get home and unload my family from my car. Stupid Boxing Day! To hell with family tradition - next year, I’m staying home.



I received a phone call from my Dad…two days after Christmas. My father has been on a “retirement” tour since May of 2007 and has been physically absent from my life since then. Although I receive the occasional phone call, he is extremely random and I never know exactly where he is at any given time, so the fact that I could not connect with him on Christmas Day was not a surprise to me. His randomness and lust for travel are two of the things I admire the most about him, but they are also the things that continue to disappoint me time and time again. I’ve accepted it and I know it’s who he is, but it’s still disappointing nonetheless. To be honest though, if he was home for Christmas, he would just be another family member that I’d have to contend with that makes me crazy, so I guess all is right with the world after all.



For more Tuesday Randomness, please be sure to visit The Un Mom.

23 December, 2009

I've Got Nothin...

Today is my last day of work before the holidays. Until Tuesday next week, it will be nothing but family, family, more family and the freakin History Channel. God knows there is nothing on television over the holiday season...

I love my family, but I'm not sure how much I can possible stand of them (or the History Channel) before I entirely flip-out. I guess only time will tell...

Good luck to those that are also spending time with family members that drive you crazy...I'll be feeling your pain.




22 December, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts


I work with scrooges. Three of the women (yes women) in my immediate vicinity have done nothing but flaunt the fact that they are NOT putting up a Christmas Tree this year and essentially are NOT celebrating the holiday season and it has nothing to do with religious beliefs. I can totally understand not being festive, but is it really necessary to be so verbal about it. I say “shut the hell up and let me be merry damnit!”

The dipstick HR Assistant on the other side of my cube wall has something contagious. She has been coughing (without covering her mouth) for the past 5 days. It would be nice if it was laryngitis and she couldn’t talk at all. Not to be mean, but when she tries to talk she starts to cough even more which results in more germs being spewed about my vicinity. She doesn’t blow her nose either – Ugghhh!

I’m totally done my shopping and the presents are wrapped; however I have a sense that I’ll be returning a number of them. I just wasn’t “feeling” the gifts this year, so I may have “settled” just to get the job done. I did attempt to put some thought behind what was being purchased, but in all fairness to myself - I outdid myself last year with great gifts and as a result, this year I had nothing left to offer, except duds. I’m okay with that…it’s the thought that counts.

My MIL has finally decided on the Holiday Menu. We will be having turkey with all the trimmings and roast duck. Why we need a duck is beyond me, but apparently the redneck brother-in-law insisted on “providing” for his family and as a result, he is bringing the roast duck, which shall now be named Daffy Duck. As a matter of principle, I will not eating anything that has been named (or shot by the brother-in-law).

Oh, I almost forgot – the Olympic Torch is being “carried” through my town today and I’m not there to see it because I have to work. *boo, hiss* The Olympic host country is responsible for carrying the torch to its final destination, where it will light the Olympic flame at the opening ceremonies of the Olympic Games. As you know, the 2010 Winter Olympics are being held in Vancouver, British Columbia, which is approximately 2,850 miles from where the torch is now. Provided, the polar bears aren’t problematic, it should get there in time.

As always, please visit The Un Mom for more Tuesday Randomness – you won’t be disappointed!

21 December, 2009

The Joy of Christmas Cards...



With the exception of this year, I have faithfully mailed out Christmas cards to friends, family and acquaintances (both old and new). I typically take the time to hand-write a personal greeting to each and every recipient. For some odd reason, I have found this task to be therapeutic – perhaps a simple way of showing my appreciation of how much this person’s friendship has meant to me.



I never expected the card giving gesture to be reciprocated by all, but I admit that it was nice to arrive home to find a Christmas card or two in the pile of mail sitting on the kitchen counter. A card is a relatively cheap gift to give, but the warm thoughts that come with them are priceless.



I don’t know what happened to me this year and I don’t have an excuse – other than I was lazy in failing to write a single note or managing to mail even one card. I’m saddened by my lack of Christmas cheer.



In not sending these cards, I have also notice that I did not receive many either. What does that mean to me?



Well, it means that I’m disappointed in myself for failing to complete this simple task, but it also means that I’ve lost a little faith along the way.



I’ve lost faith in those that I typically send these cards to. I’ve began to wonder if the only reason I received cards in the first place was because they were sent out of guilt. “Oh crap, TDG sent us a Christmas card AGAIN. Now, we don’t have any choice but to send one to HER!”



Yep – mercy cards. That’s what it’s feeling like to me and while I don’t like the feeling, I’m more determined than ever to get back on track next year and carry on with my Christmas card giving tradition.



You may ask, “Why bother?”



The answer is simple – REVENGE and to be bothersome. If all it takes is a simple Christmas card to make someone remember my friendship, feel guilty and reciprocate the gesture, then my job is done…



Happy Holidays!!!

18 December, 2009

Proud To Be Canadian at Christmas...

For this occasion only, please disregard my post from yesterday about being a bad Canadian. I'm still a bad Canadian 362 other days of the year, but with these Canadian icons, I couldn't be more proud to be a Canadian than I am at Christmas Time...

Introducing Bob & Doug McKenzie and their version of The Twelve Days of Christmas - Enjoy!

17 December, 2009

Canadian Fashion Attire...

So, in response to the question - what is a toque?  Here is a repost I had done awhile back about Canadian fashion attire...enjoy the beauty of it all....(jealous aren't you?)

There is no escaping the crap that is a Canadian winter and there is no denying the fact that – I am a terrible Canadian. I detest winter so much that I daydream that the Canadian government would realize how terrible of a Canadian I actually am, kick me out of the country, ban me for life from watching hockey and revoke my god-given right to wear a toque or a dickey for the rest of my life.

For those not familiar with Canadianisms a toque is a hat, which is most likely made of wool, knitted in a hideous pattern and colors and perhaps with a baseball size tassel adorning the top. These wonderful items are worn with pride, pulled down as far as possible, to cover your ears and most of your eyebrows, essentially hiding the identity of the wearer. In honesty, there is no pride in wearing this item; they are actually a cold weather necessity, which doubles as a disguise.

A dickey is a turtle-neck sweater without the sweater – just the neck and about an inch or two of fabric surrounding the base of the neck. I think the dickey originated on Christmas Eve and legend has it that the inventor of the dickey was an elderly grandma, too drunk on Christmas cheer to finish the wonderful turtle neck sweater she had set out to knit in time for gifting on Christmas morning.


The rest is fashion history; although fashion is not an essential part of a Canadian winter – survival is and if you want to survive, you better adorn these Canadian essentials.

Today, I have lost my survival instincts and my mind starts to wander to warmer climates and my next possible vacation destination.

16 December, 2009

Here's What I'm Going to Do - in The New Year...

I've never prepared a New Year's Resolution List, as I've always believed that if you did so, you were destined to fail. This year, I've prepared a list of promises. Promises to myself do something better with my life.



Here is my Promise/Wish List for 2010:



~ I’m going to lose a minimum of 20 lbs. This will include eating healthier and working out more – a lot more.



~ I’m going to find a new job and get myself out of this mind-numbing, life-force sucking one. As an added bonus, this will include shortening my daily commute.



~ Instead of sitting on my ass during my lunch hour, I’m going to start going for walks around the block. This one will be challenging during the winter months because I HATE winter, but I’m going to do it nonetheless. I’ll be miserable, but I’ll do it.



~ I’m going to take more time for myself.



~ I’m going to read more. Not just e-books - real books, but not boring ones. So any suggestions would be welcomed.



~ I’m going to become a volunteer.



~ I’m going to save more and spend less.



~ I'm going to take less crap from people than I currently do now. After all, what's life without risk?



Here's to a new me in 2010! Well, not totally new...I'll still be me, but I'll be a better, healthier, well-rounded (except not in the ass) version of the old me.

15 December, 2009

Update - Rant of The Week...

After my rant of earlier today, I just have to provide an update....

Not only am I DOING the compensation letters that the HR Department is too stupid/lazy to do themselves. I know this must come as a big surprise to you - it certainly did to me. *insert sarcasm* BUT, just moments ago, the entire company receives an e-mail (from my boss) announcing the promotion of the Director of HR to Associate VP of HR. WTH?

Apparently, I've been going about it all wrong. I've actually be WORKING to get ahead in my career. Shame on me...

All you need to get ahead in the world is be a lazy ass and hire people dumber than yourself, so that you look like a freakin rock star. Who knew?

Settle In For the Rant of the Week...

I have spoken many times of the dislike for the personnel in my company’s HR Department. I should clarify, I’m sure that outside the workplace, they are fine people. I’m sure they have friends, family, hobbies and a life, but I don’t really care to find out because let’s be honest - I try not to socialize with the people that drive me bat shit crazy on a daily basis.


I should also clarify that I am not affiliated with the HR Department. I am not a member of their team, although the HR Director seems to be misinformed on this note. The only thing that perhaps ties me to them – is that (1) my cubicle is in their vicinity and (2) my boss is also the boss of the HR Director.


Last year in December, I was asked by my boss to assist the HR Director with the preparation of sales compensation letters because (and I quote) “You are the only one out there smart enough to figure it out and get it right.” I’m not sure if it was actually a compliment or his way of saying “you are the least dumb of all of them”? But, whatever…


You see, we had a huge turn over in the HR Department just weeks before, so in order to minimize the learning curve on the new ones, he thought I would be the best person to do the job. Hmmm, okay, not that I had any choice in the matter, but I reluctantly agreed to help out.


It was a freakin disaster of epic proportions. For 3 weeks straight, I had to forgo my own tasks and work closely with that department and their stupidity to ensure that the letters were prepared properly and at the end of it all, I didn’t so much as get a thank-you - from anyone, not even my boss.


A year has passed and we have since had yet another round of HR personnel turn-over within the past 3 months. NOTE: Shouldn’t the frequent turn over alone, say something about the management of that department?


Apparently not - because guess what? I have been directed (not asked) by the HR Director to begin preparing the letters again for this year. WTH? What is wrong with her department now - aside from still not being the brightest bulbs in the package?


Within seconds of getting her e-mail, I forward it to my boss and demanded an explanation. I have yet to hear from him, but the whole “my HR Department is too stupid to figure it out” is not going to fly with me this year.


If they weren’t capable enough to do their ENTIRE job, why in hell were they even hired in the first place? I’m still waiting for a response, but I suspect hell will actually freeze over before I get one…

14 December, 2009

Drunken Snowman...

My holiday spirit has been found. Who knew it could come in the form of watermelon liquor? Don’t judge me on where I found it – just appreciate that it’s here…

Anyhow, I found this excellent idea to brighten up the Christmas season or in my case the holiday party I will be attending this upcoming weekend.


“We're always looking for that little something extra for our holiday parties, and we've stumbled upon this recipe for creating a drunken watermelon snowman that would do Frosty proud, being the legendary drunk he was. And you'll never convince us he wasn't a drunk, because A) he was a jolly happy soul, B) he danced like an idiot, and C) we've had eyes like lumps of coal when we were hung over too. Our theory is he went down to the village with that broomstick in his hand to try to find a college bar and get the kids to limbo or something.”

Excerpt and Photo Courtesy of Liquor Snob

In case, you are looking to make one for yourself here are the instructions and recipe.

The Drunken Snowman

1. Using one round seedless watermelon and two personal sized watermelons (one larger and one smaller), cut a 1/4 inch slice off the bottom of each melon to provide a stable base. Use the smallest melon for the head, the next largest for the torso and the largest for the lower body. Set aside the smallest watermelon.


2. Cut the tops off of the large and medium watermelons, as shown, to create bowls. Scoop out flesh, using an ice cream scoop or large spoon.

3. Taking the smallest watermelon that has not yet been cut, scoop out eyes using a melon baller. Invert melon balls and reinsert.

4. Using a mini melon baller or a paring knife, scoop out holes for the nose and mouth. Carve a piece of watermelon into a triangle for the nose, and fill mouth holes with blueberries.

5. Connect all three watermelons on a platter, using large wooden skewers.

6. Insert y-shaped sticks into middle watermelon for arms.

7. Fill bottom sections with fruit salad of melon balls and blueberries. Pour 1/4 bottle of vodka and 3 oz Marie Brizard watermelon liqueur. Decorate with scarf and hat.

Easy Watermelon Carving Tips
Have the whole watermelon at room temperature when you carve. The cuts will be easier to make when the watermelon is not cold. You can chill the watermelon in the refrigerator after cutting and before serving. Cut a small, thin, flat piece from the bottom of the watermelon before carving. This will make a flat base, making the watermelon more stable when carving.

Draw the design on the watermelon rind with a fine/medium point waterproof marker or a sharp pencil before you cut. After you've drawn the design on the rind, insert toothpicks in key places to use as guides for your cuts.

For better grip and to help protect your hands, use a fresh, new thick pair of gardening gloves with gripper palms. Choose a flat working surface on a solid base.

Use a sharp knife with a pointed tip - the sharper the knife, the easier and cleaner the cuts will be. Be careful! Consider using a channel knife for certain cuts and to hollow out larger areas.
(National Watermelon Promotion Board/CocktailTimes.com

11 December, 2009

My Mood - It Too Shall Pass...



“Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.” Bill Watterson


I’m lonely, but am not alone.



I love, but do not like.



I care, but not enough.



My heart aches, but it’s not broken.



I’m loved by many, but appreciated by few.



I long for respect, but it’s not forthcoming.



I’m a body, but not a person.



I speak, but am not heard.



I want peace and solitude for friends, family, but most of all…for myself.



I wish for more, accept less than I should, but am thankful for what I have…most of the time.



Tomorrow is a new day…


10 December, 2009

Wreaths, Trees and Creativity...

First, please excuse the quality of the photos. Since J wasn't around, I had to resort to taking my own photos and well, they are self-explanatory. In case you were wondering, they were taken in my cube at work.

Anyhow, I thought I would share another side to my ever evolving self - my darker creative side.

This time of year, I enjoy creating holiday decorations (mostly wreaths and Christmas trees) from pine cones and other nature-like stuff. I do make them to sell and this year I am donating a $10 from each one sold to the Salvation Army's Tree of Angels campaign in the name of the buyer. People are buying them, so they either like them or it's their own little way of giving to a worthwhile cause - either way the Salvation Army wins.



09 December, 2009

I Want Wednesday - What I'll Settle For This Christmas...

As I reflect back through my "I Want Wednesday Posts of 2009", I realized that I've obviously been aiming too high. I've wanted much, but haven't received a damn thing on my lists.

So in order to not be disappointed at Christmas, I'm revising the lists - from "I Want" to "I'll Settle For". The way I figure it, Santa can't possibly argue with my reasoning (compromise)...

I Wanted...
D&G Sunglasses

But, I'll Settle For...

A Pair of Oakley's (P.S. They are on sale.)

I Wanted...
D&G Boots

But, I'll Settle For...

Hush Puppy Boots

I Wanted...

Rolex Watch

But, I'll Settle For...

Timex Watch

I Wanted...
Tiffany Emerald Ring

But, I'm NOT settling on this one. I want this ring damnit!

08 December, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts


I work for a hardware/software company whose product is supposed to make the internet experience better. Really? Because right now my internet experience sucks! Dial up internet would be a better experience than what I’m getting right now.



We have discovered that our cat has once again chewed through the electrical cord to our battery backup unit on our home computer. This is the third time it has happened, so either the cat does have nine lives or that scene in the Christmas Vacation movie is false and cats don’t parish so easily.



The Jim Carey version of The Grinch was on television last night. Am I the only person on the planet that finds that movie creepy and disturbing? If I was a child, I would have had nightmares for sure. On the note of things that freak me out – so do clowns, Tele-Tubbies, as do pretty much any member of Sesame Street and The Muppets. What is wrong with me?



We put up and decorated our Christmas Tree on the weekend. For the first time in 20+ years, J assisted in the process! Apparently miracles do happen because apart from carrying the tree up from the basement and telling me that “you missed a spot” when I’m decorating it, he actually set it up when I was out running errands. I’m still wondering what his motive is…



My MIL called last night to ask if we were coming for Christmas dinner. I don’t quite understand what she was thinking. They live 5 minutes away and we haven’t missed a Christmas dinner EVER and besides, I didn’t think skipping out on it was actually an option.



On the topic of Christmas dinner, the MIL has announced that she hasn't decided whether she will be serving turkey this year - it might actually be either goose or duck in lieu of the turkey. After hearing that, I have officially revoked my RSVP until such time as I know what's on the menu. Call me ungrateful, but I refuse to eat anything that has been shot by my redneck brother-in-law. The last time I did, I nearly broke a tooth on the pellets remaining in the carcass.



As always, please be sure to visit The Un Mom for more Tuesday Randomness.


04 December, 2009

I'm Happy...

I’m happy The Boy has completed all of his college applications. Now the wait begins to see whether or not he gets accepted into his program of choice – Film Production.

I’m happy that with the college applications looming, The Boy has finally applied himself and is actually achieving good grades. I guess all he needed was some motivation and apparently the idea of getting out of my house is all the motivation he needed.

I’m happy I’m having dinner with an old co-worker tomorrow night. She really is as old as the hills…older than dirt actually…LOL!

I’m happy that after dinner tomorrow night, I’m going to see Blue Rodeo in concert. For those of my National friends, Blue Rodeo is an iconic Canadian band that isn’t actually half bad.

I’m happy I’m 75% done my Christmas shopping. I’d be happier if I was completely done and the damn gifts were wrapped.

And, the obvious one – I’m happy it’s Friday! Have a great weekend everyone...

03 December, 2009

Chance Encounters...

I just went up to our reception area and saw a gentlemen standing with his back to me. The slight tilt of his head and his stance from behind looked oddly familiar. Could it be?


I knew he worked in town, but it’s been about 10 years since our paths had crossed. As my heart rate quickened, I felt myself beginning to blush. Should I say something just to be sure or should I just turn and walk away. What if I was wrong and it was a case of mistaken identity? I moved a little to his left side just to confirm my suspicions. It was him!


It didn’t take me long to swoop in and grab him for a hug. I’m not a total creeper and did announce his name to ensure that he had a chance to turn around and not be totally freaked out by the sudden movements of a crazy person sexually assaulting him from behind.


The man in my reception area just happened to be one of the best bosses I have ever had – even if he is a lawyer. I loved him once (in a boss sort of way) and truth be told always will.


Our career paths went in different directions - hence the reason for our separation and we haven’t been able to reconnect on a professional level. He’s chose to stick with private practice and I chose (poorly), the path of Corporate Canada. Bottom line, he can’t afford me and I can’t afford to take that BIG of a pay cut to be with him. *sigh*


After the horrible boss story of yesterday, maybe this is a sign…there may be change in the air …

02 December, 2009

The Denial Chronicles...


Once upon a time, I had a great job, but the pay was less than stellar, so I decided to make a move back into corporate Canada (not quite as exciting sounding as corporate America huh?). I guess you could say I “sold out to the man”. It just so happened; the man looked exactly like George Lucas. During my interview process with “George”, he was charming, witty and intelligent. He knew the right things to say and obviously knew how to bullshit with a skill that blinded me. I took the job and with it, gained a great salary.

It's true - if something seems too good to be true – it is!


The George Lucas look-a-like with “denial” disease challenged my willingness to live on a daily basis. This man might have had it together at one time in his life, but he certainly forgot where he put it. I realize that any form of dementia is not a joking matter and should not be taken lightly; however if not for laughing about it, I would of went insane.

At first, I suspected this gentleman was simply indecisive or perhaps he just lost his competitive edge and did not want to admit it was time for him to be put out to pasture. Over time however; it became apparent that there was something else going on – the man was a coward.

In our daily team meetings, I would be tasked with a client and file and instructed on how to proceed from Mr. Lucas. By the time or team meeting the next day, he would completely deny his instructions the day before and proceed to berate me on how I wasn’t “getting it”. The conversation would begin by me stating, “Excuse me sir, but we had this discussion yesterday and that is exactly what you told me to do.” I would even read him back the notes I jotted down. “No, that’s not what I said, you are obviously confused.” I would take a deep breath, count to ten and think to myself, “Excuse me, you dumb-shit, there are two freaking people in this room that heard exactly the same thing, but they are too gutless to come to my rescue and back me up!”

My witnesses were two co-workers on my “team”; however my team members were not team players. Never once did they throw themselves in front of the oncoming bus, but instead chose to be spineless. Apparently, they were well versed in the meaning of self-preservation. I, on the other hand, firmly believe that if I work hard and do the right thing, there is no need to sell others down the river. Well, I didn’t last long at that law firm - six months to be exact.

My self-destructive demise began on a sunny autumn morning, immediately after our daily team meeting and another session of being told “Sharman, you must be confused. I would never tell you to proceed in that fashion. It just doesn’t make sense.” On this particular day, I didn’t see the point in counting to ten. Counting to 100 wouldn’t help either. I was determined that his behavior would be confronted once and for all – regardless of the consequences. Once my team members slithered from his office, I calmly closed his door and asked whether he was off his medication and why he assumed I was an idiot (true story). This was met by a look of disbelief, but I didn’t bother to stop there. “Why exactly was I hired? Why do I bother getting out of bed in the morning? Why are you paying me an overly generous salary, when all I do sit on my ass all day and do nothing, except put up with your dementia?”

With the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders, I didn’t bother to wait for his response. I turned on my heels, marched out of his office and slammed his door behind me. I returned to my office, grabbed my purse and left for the day. That was the best I had felt in a long time. I would address the fallout tomorrow, provided he remembered what just happened. Today, I didn’t care.


That man couldn’t remember where he parked his car in the morning, or what instructions he provided to his employees, but he was able to remember to instruct human resources to dismiss me; however I’m sure that feat was accomplished as a result of his office being directly beside the Manager of HR’s and within “short term memory” distance. I suspect that within hours after my removal, Mr. Lucas was wandering the halls, wondering where I went.

Although the initial shock of being unemployed for the first time in my life knocked the wind from my lungs, I gained a sense of fulfillment. With my breaking point determined and the worst job of my life (to date) behind me, I realized that I did not belong in a world where I was expected to be seen and not heard, or where it was o.k. for someone else to take credit for your work and where shallowness and self-absorption is completely acceptable, as long as you look damn fine doing it. “Screw them. I refused to sell out. The unemployment line would be by next stop.” It turned out that I would have three months to figure out my next move.

I've learned - that no matter the consequences, those who are honest with themselves get farther in life.

01 December, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts


I love online shopping for a couple of reasons (beside the obvious one that I am female). One, there is nothing more exciting than receiving a package in the mail and two, there is nothing more thrilling than knowing you avoided the hassle of the mall, it’s parking lot and the numerous crazies to get it.



Winter is officially here. It snowed this morning and on my way to work, there were cars in the ditch. Why the hell can't people figure out that snow most likely equals slippery roads.


I’m planning on taking a *cough* sick day this week. Am I sick? Not really - unless you can count being sick of your co-workers and boss an illness and if so - I’m sick as hell.


I went to see the apocalyptic epic movie 2012 on the weekend. May I suggest that you wait for it to come out on DVD and then rent it - save yourself the price of admission, popcorn and snacks – not to mention 2.5 hours of your life? Unless of course, you enjoy bad acting and over-the-top action scenes that don’t make any sense and if that so happens to be your cup of tea – enjoy!


I did see the movie trailer for Sherlock Holmes which is opening on Christmas Day. Typically anything Sherlock Holmes would bore me to tears, but there’s something about Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law that makes skipping Christmas dinner with the in-laws appealing. Hard to believe – isn’t it? Who says a Christmas feast couldn’t consist of popcorn, nachos and Jr. Mints?


The family and I went living room furniture shopping on the weekend. Believe me, this is not the type of activity to bring a family closer together. I listened to their crazy ass opinions, but in reality their opinions don’t count, BUT at least I made them feel like they did.


As always, please be sure to visit The Un Mom for plenty more randomness. In fact, you'd be surprised at how much randomness is out there on a Tuesday...

30 November, 2009

Jeff Foxworthy...no it's not about Rednecks (sort of)...


Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canadians:

The saddest part... I can relate to them all.

  • If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Canada.
  • If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Canada.
  • If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Canada.
  • If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialled a wrong number, you may live in Canada.
  • If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Detroit for the weekend, you may live in Canada.
  • If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada.
  • If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Canada.
  • If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day, and back again, you may live in Canada.
  • If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Canada.
  • If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Canada.
  • If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Canada.
  • If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Canada.
  • If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km -- You're going 95 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada.
  • If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Canada.
  • If you know all 4 seasons: Almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you may live in Canada.
  • If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Canada.
  • If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly', you may live in Canada.
  • If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your friends, you definitely are Canadian, and proud to be.