22 September, 2011

Yep, I've Lost It....

The things I can come up with in a long, boring meeting…sometimes I amaze myself (and not in a good way).

No words of wisdom, no words of wit.
Instead there’s boredom and here I sit.
While contemplating a witty blog, I begin to feel my arteries clog.
I dream of things, I dream of places, I easily picture those bloggy faces.
To meet, to greet, to dance in the street.
Perhaps one day we’ll say hello, but until then I have to go.
Back to work, back to the grind, back to sit on my be-hind.

20 September, 2011

Stupid Travel Complaints...

This article recently appeared in one of our local newspapers.  I just had to share...enjoy! 
A recent survey from Thomas Cook and the Association of British Travel Agents revealed 20 of the most ridiculous complaints by holiday-makers made to their travel agent.
1. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”
2. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”
3. “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.”
4. “We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.”
5. A tourist at a top African Game Lodge overlooking a water hole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel “inadequate.”
6. A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been locked in her hotel room by staff. In fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb” sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.
7. “The beach was too sandy.”
8. “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure.Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.”
9. A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.
10. “Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.”
11. “We bought ‘Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for five euros from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.”
12. “No one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.”
13. “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England, it only took the Americans three hours to get home.”
14. “I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends’ three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller.”
15. “The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the accommodation.’ We’re trainee hairdressers — will we be OK staying there?”
16. “There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners now live abroad.”
17. “We had to queue outside with no air conditioning.”
18. “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”
19. “I was bitten by a mosquito, no-one said they could bite.”
20. “My fiancĂ© and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”

08 September, 2011

September Recap to Date...

The weather this past weekend (yes, I realize that was almost a week ago) was not nice – at all.  It was either raining or when it wasn’t raining, it was so cold that pants and a long-sleeved shirt were required. 
With the arrival of colder weather, cold and flu season has also arrived.  There are two people in the vicinity of my office that are sick.  I cannot stand the sound of someone sniffling and not blowing their nose.  “Gross” is all I have to say about that…
My father-in-law held a yard sale this past weekend (in between when it wasn’t raining).  I swear that man could sell air conditioners to Eskimos.  We had taken him a small amount of “junk” that had been lying around our basement for years to sell on our behalf and he conveniently made us a nice $400.  Have I said how much I love than man?  I love him even more since he didn’t ask for a commission.
My new found wealthy feeling didn’t last long…  On my way into work on Tuesday, I had a rock from a passing dump truck land on my windshield.  I now have a nice golf ball sized “chip” in my windshield which will need to be replaced before winter because once the cold weather arrives in will spread and crack in a million different directions.  Argh…
The Boy has started commuting with me this week.   I’ve commuted alone for the past 20 years, so having another person with me will require some adjustment.   All I can say is that it’s a good thing he’s entertaining, otherwise his constant chatter might drive me over the edge.
With The Boy starting school, his complaining has already started and so has his stressing about his workload. 
The Boy:  “Between work, commuting to school and school, I just don’t know how I’m going to keep up.  I’m tired all the time.” 
Me:  “Welcome to the real world.”
The Boy:  “That’s all the words of wisdom you have?”
Me:  “At the moment, that’s all the words of wisdom I have energy for.  I’m tired.  I work – remember?”
The Boy:  “Fair enough.”
My boss was not in the office today.  Turns out – he was off for a colonoscopy.  I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere, but I’m not feeling witty enough to find it. 

Have a great night folks...

04 September, 2011

Always Wear Clean Underwear and Drink Plenty of Fluids….

The Boy goes back to school in a couple of days.  I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it in the past, but he’s decided on another course change for the upcoming school year.  As a matter of fact, he’s decided on an entirely different approach.  This year he plans on living at home and attending college in the same city as where I work, so he will be able to commute with me.  The benefit of this is that, he’ll save a ton of money on housing and I’ll be able to ensure he’s getting the support he needs to make this year count (read…I’ll be nagging him so bad, he won’t have any other choice than to get his shit together).
This year, he’s decided on Culinary Management, which is a fancy way of saying Chef Training as his program of choice and so far he seems committed to it.  He’s even gone so far as getting a second job at local catering company/deli/butcher shop in order to gain some hands-on experience in the culinary field.  It’s only been 6 weeks, but so far NO complaints have been heard (even with the 12 hour weekend shifts).   I might be overly optimistic, but maybe a summer can really make a difference in the maturity level of a boy.  Fingers crossed.
I may have spoken too soon about the maturity thing.  Last Sunday night, we wound up in emergency room because The Boy was experiencing an extreme rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, pain in his lower back and excessive body shakes.   His diagnosis – dehydration.   Even though he is now legally able to drink and drive a car…his mommy obviously needs to remind him to drink plenty of water every day.   He’s slowly starting to feel better, but I’m shocked at how much the dehydration took out of him.   Silly Boy…he took about 5 years off my life.
The Boy’s only observation from his hospital visit.  “They really need to do something about their ceilings – they were an ugly color and terrifyingly dingy.”
I need a vacation…or some valium…either will do nicely.