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Showing posts from June, 2009

If It Smells Like Fish; It Probably Is...Part 2

As I stepped on board the research boat for the first time, all I could think of was “great, the boat stinks like day old fish.” Duh – it’s a fishing boat! What was it supposed to smell like? It was that day my career as a “Fisheries Division Survey Technician” began. My days were spent hauling nets, picking, counting, sorting and weighing the different fish species – all while trying to keep my rubber boots and not my ass planted to the deck of the boat. It’s a good thing I do not have a weak stomach because there was one particular fish species that made me want to cry and would have made a lesser woman (or my husband) want to vomit. I don’t recall the name of it, but it was small and invaded the nets in great numbers and the unfortunate part – they would literally “explode” when you tried to remove them from the nets. Just picture trying to grab hold of Jello with your bare hands and just when you think you have hold; you hear a “popping” sound, followed by oozing. Nasty, doesn

If It Smells Like Fish; It Probably Is...Part 1

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Here is another look into one of my illustrious career choices. This one was driven by lack of work and my overwhelming desire to keep busy. I’m the first to admit I have a problem, I just don’t know how to fix it… During the early weeks of “one summer of boredom”, I was determined to do something new with my career. Who was I kidding? I didn’t believe anything could possibly jumpstart my current disaster, but I was convinced that there had to be something out there that would pass some time during my regular 9-5 working hours. While bemoaning my latest lack of work dilemma to my best friend, she asks, “Why don’t you just come to work for me for a couple days a week for the summer months?” “What exactly do you do?” is my response. For as many years as I’ve known my BF, I’ve never quite figured out how she earns a living. I only know that she is a government employee, has a lot of accumulated holiday time and that her title is something like Regiona

Transformers 2 - Rise of the Fallen

I just got back from seeing Transformers 2 - "Rise of the Fallen". It can be summed up with one word - "fantastic"! I'll admit, I was a doubter and didn't think the first one could be beat, so I was pleasantly surprised. If you liked the first, you will also enjoy this one. I would say the storyline is a little darker than the first, but it is offset with more pieces of comic relief and of course - action, lots of action.

Friday Randomness...

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I’ve won a free introductory to flight lesson from a local ultra-light flying club. Call me crazy, but I’m not sure how thrilled I am to going flying in a machine that is essentially powered by lawnmower engine and in order to start, the propeller needs to be “hand cranked“. I’m adventurous, but not suicidal… I went to a Toronto Blue Jays baseball game last night. The Blue Jays had been on a semi-winning streak (if 3 count); however last night, they lost to the Cincinnati Reds. It wasn’t even an entertaining game. On the upside, it was “Ladies Night Out” and as a give we received a nice pink ball cap. I’m excited that it was pink, as I’m now guaranteed than no one in my household will be tempted to wear it but me. It’s only been one day since the passing of Michael Jackson and already, I’m bitter about the media coverage and rumors surrounding his death. As odd as he was in life, he deserves to rest in peace. Farrah Fawcett also passed away yesterday; however her death has bee

Say It Ain't So...

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The cold reality of it being a mere 6 months until Christmas has slapped me silly this morning. With Summer just officially arriving on Sunday, this news is a bitter pill to swallow. What have I done to deserve this? It’s not that I have anything against Christmas, it’s just that I have a bone or two to pick with the nasty, uninvited cold weather that hitches a ride with it. Anyone that lives in a warmer climate cannot possibly relate to this feeling of desperation. The saddest part of this revelation being – cold weather actually arrives at least two months prior to Christmas (aka 4 months from now). Gahhh! What does that mean you ask? It means I have a lot of warmth and sunshine to absorb and pack into these remaining 4 months. Using my vacation days are not a feasible option, as these must be reserved for my winter escapes to warmer climates. Hmmm...perhaps a few more sick days are in order. I hear the West Nile virus might be going around. *coug

Aimless Rambling...

I can think of at least 10 other things I would rather be doing today than working. They include going to the beach, relaxing on my deck, having a nap, reading a book, going to a movie, having a root canal, licking a frog, cleaning my toilets, cleaning the toilets of strangers or cleaning public toilets. Enough said… I took a “sick” day yesterday and spent the day cleaning my spare room, basement and cutting my lawn. I now feel guilty - not for missing work; but because I wasted a perfectly good sick day and should have spent it doing something fun like going to the beach. Damn it. What’s wrong with me? While I was at home yesterday, I observed my son and five of his friends running through the sprinkler yesterday afternoon for over two hours. I was shocked and pleasantly surprised to learn that 16 year old boys still enjoy the simpler things in life and could entertain themselves without the use of electronics or computers. I’m thinking I need a care

Are You My Father?

As today is father's day, I am reminded that I have been "abandoned" by my father. This event did not occur when I was a child, but more recently - a little over a year to be exact. At the age of 68, he packed his bags, kissed his only child goodbye and set out to travel the world - some would call it retirement, but I prefer to call it abandonment. Am I being dramatic? Yes. I can't believe it's been over a year since I dropped him off at the airport with his passport in hand and a grin on his face. Although I haven't seen him since that day, we do talk weekly, so I know he's doing o.k. I feel selfish for wishing I could see him today and I know if the roles were reversed, he wouldn't be expecting me home anytime soon. You would think that at my age, I wouldn't feel such a loss today, but I do. I miss him dearly and I know he misses me, but it makes me happy to know that after many, many years of hardwork, he is finally getting the opportuni

I'm Charming and I Have the Award to Prove It...

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Special thanks to Señorita Andalucíana for this great award. I am truly honored that she thought of me. This award is bestowed on to blogs that are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. lease give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award. My choices are: Chrissy @ I Shoulda Been a Stripper – Her blog continually makes me laugh out loud, which can be problematic at work. I just wish I had of thought of that blog title first. Renee @ Renee's World - I love that she is not afraid to share her new experiences with us. CrazyCris @ Here There and Everywhere - Every time I visit her blog, I learn something new. In particular, I now know mor

It's All Fun & Games Until...

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I was listening to a story this morning on the radio, which really made me wonder how I, my friends or even my own child ever managed to survive childhood. The basis of the story was how many childhood accidents could be avoided if extra precaution was taken when allowing your children to play on playground equipment. I should point out that the group most at risk are boys between the ages of 11 and 14. In order to lessen the impact if your child happens to fall, it is recommended that the ground surrounding the playground equipment be covered by either sand or wood chips. I thought to myself “Wood chips? Couldn’t you get a sliver from those things? Sand? How hygienic will that be when the neighborhood cats discover it?” What injustice are we doing to our children? I received this in an e-mail sometime ago and I thought it needed to be shared, particularly in light of that radio program. Remember the days when…. Our baby cots were covered with brightly colored lead-based paint

"Make a Wish Wednesday"

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My Wish: There are certain things every scuba diver wishes to experience throughout their dive career. Once upon a time, I had wished to see schools of hammerhead sharks, dolphins and sea lions underwater. I was fortunate enough to have that wish fulfilled on my trip to the Galapagos Islands . Now I'm striving for a few different creatures, I wish I could see a merman and a unicorn, but since that isn’t a fantasy, I'll have to settle on something else. I wish I could see each of the following (although I still believe them all to be mythical creatures). Better yet, I wish to could find them on my own without someone else pointing them out to me: Frogfish - I have managed to find one of these on my own, but with instructions like “turn left at the rope and swim for 10 minutes and at 45 feet you will find a rusty barrel with a yellow frogfish on it”, I really couldn’t go wrong considering there was only one rusty barrel in the vicinity and the yellow

Chapstick or Vaseline. What's in Your Butt Kissing Emergency Kit?

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I’ve decided to share some of my career observations and perhaps offer some insight into career choices that you may not have realized actually exist. Today’s post will feature a brief insight into the theatre arts community. This is a first hand observation of a career choice that I didn’t realize existed – professional Ass Kisser. My brief experience within the arts community brought about a whole new appreciation for the arts. In particular, I gained insight into the “Art of Ass-Kissing”. The theater arts community has more that just beautiful sets, stunning performances and well-rehearsed talent. These talented individuals are not actors, set designers or the stage hands, but are the two executives of a well-known Canadian Shakespearean Theatre. Although these two individuals have long ago lost their touch with reality, they remain passionate for their craft. I’m amazed that these individuals have not completely snapped – committing themselves to a home for the mentally unstab

Trust Me, When I Say - I Will Make You Pay…

I don’t even know where to start this blog – last week was a crazy week and I was so pissed off at the events of last week that I just could bring myself to put my thoughts into words. With a calmer head, I’m going to tell you the tale of how naïve a teenage boy can actually be. Apart from the basics like he doesn’t clean his room, do his homework without being flogged or have common sense when to keep his mouth shut, I don’t have too many complaints about my son. He is a good kid – he’s fun loving, compassionate, honest and maybe to a fault - he’s trusting (at least he was). I know you may think that a being trusting is a great trait and I’m sure it’s a trait he’s picked up from his father because I, on the other hand do not trust anyone 100%. Call me a cynic, but I guess that comes from my years spent working with lawyers and commissioned sales people – I’m bitter and I’m o.k. with it. Now for the back story - last Saturday, we purchased my son a video camera. The point of the

Stay Thirsty My Friends...

These are certainly some of the most entertaining commercials I have witnessed in a long time. I’ll admit that if it weren’t for these Dos Equis commercials, I would still be swigging back on Corona, but I found them to be so amusing that I just couldn’t resist picking up a six pack to see what this man had to offer. Well, now that I’ve experienced the “Most Interesting Man in the World”, I won’t be going back. Best part is – the beer is pretty good too! Stay Thirsty My Friends…

Kreativity and Me…

I’ve been fortunate enough to receive the Kreativ Blogger Award from Judge Fudge and I didn’t even have to ass kiss for it, but just to be clear, I would have. My interpretation of the rules are: Post the Kreativ Blogger logo on my blog, which has been done. List 7 things I love – there are a lot more than 7 and most of them involve food and drinks, but I’ve narrowed it down. Nominate 7 other bloggers worthy of this award. 7 Things I Love (in no particular order) Grand Slam Breakfasts @ Denny’s Vacations – preferably somewhere warm Afternoon Naps Margaritas and Beer (if taken together, it’s consider one item) Scuba Diving My family and friends (almost all of the time) 4:30 every weekday My nominees are: David @ The Rest is Still Unwritten Señorita Andalucíana @ The Decline of Youth and the Beginning of Me Rain @ Mountain Mamma CrazyCris @ Here There and Everywhere Cheeseburgers in Pakistan Renée @ Renée's World Beatriz Kim @ Art by Beatri

Look Out! She’s Going for the Razor Blades…

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Can someone please tell me why razor blades are kept behind “security” shelving in Wal-Mart? You know the shelf with the clear plastic sneeze guard lid on it? This is the same security unit that emits an ear-piercing alarm when you lift the lid to retrieve your razor blades, which it turn scares the beegeezus out of you and puts the pharmacists on high alert for roving bandits armed with packages of Mach 3’s. All I can say - you better be sure you have selected the correct package before you lift the lid because if you do it twice within a short period of time, I’m sure a secret alarm is sent to local law enforcement agencies, alerting them of the potential hostage incident about to unfold. Come on - it’s not like these razor blades could immediately be used as weapons. Considering the packaging they come in, it would require great technical skill and a sharp object before access could be gained – both of which I happen to lack. “Attention Wal-Mart shoppers”, in case you hadn’

"Make a Wish Wednesday"

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My Wish: I wish people could figure out how to drive through a roundabout and then DO IT properly. I work in a city which has over the past few years have embraced the benefits of traffic circles. They have become so fond of these circular death traps that they have added no less than 11 roundabouts to the region – 5 of these in less than a 3 mile stretch. I would consider myself fortunate if I’m able survive one of these, but I’m blessed enough to maneuver through the “dance of death” each and every day – 5 times each way, for a total of 10 times each day. I should really purchase more life insurance, because it’s truly a wonder how I manage to make it out of these alive. According to the City’s website, the purpose of these traffic circles is to “improve road safety, manage increased traffic demand, and help improve air quality by eliminating unnecessary stops and idling”. Have these people actually driven through one of these and lived to tell about it?

Cube Trolls and Karma...

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As the mind-numbing boredom begins to kick-in, I begin the self-contemplation process…again. It’s 9:00 a.m. on Tuesday and this process has already occurred twice today and twice as many times yesterday. It usually starts with one simple question, “What the hell happened to me?” Before I even have a chance to conjure an answer, it leads to next question “When exactly did the proverbial Amtrak train jump the rails and begin its plummet down the mountainside into the deep, boulder-strewn ravine?” “What karmic debt remains unpaid?” “Have I offended the god of office politics at some point in my life?” Most likely the answer to the later is yes. I’m not great with sharing simple office niceties and could really care less about how my cube-dwelling neighbor spent her weekend or how the latest lunch hour shopping spree netted Bimbo #1, the cutest, most spectacular pair of shoes! To put it simply, I’m not interested, I don’t care. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a thoughtless, insensit

World Oceans Day Blog-A-Thon - June 8th

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I’ve decided to take a different approach to the 2009 Theme “One Ocean, One Climate, One Future” and will be providing you with some interesting ocean-related facts (the opinions expressed here are mine and are not meant to reflect poorly on anyone but myself): Largest Ocean - Pacific (64,186,000 square miles) and the deepest part is the Mariana’s Trench at a depth of 36,200 feet deep. Scariest “Ocean Related” Movie – Jaws. Being a scuba diver, I still get freaked out when I’m waiting for the dive boat to pick me up – who knows what's lurking about and will view me as its lunch. Scariest “Ocean Related” Book – Meg (by Steve Alten) – Similar to Jaws, but this time it’s a megalodon which has been dredged up from the Marianas Trench . While I was diving in Micronesia (close to the Marianas Trench ), I thought about this book quite often. [insert theme music from Jaws] Best “Ocean Related” Movie – Finding Nemo. Let’s be honest, who hasn’t done an impres