Cube Trolls and Karma...

As the mind-numbing boredom begins to kick-in, I begin the self-contemplation process…again. It’s 9:00 a.m. on Tuesday and this process has already occurred twice today and twice as many times yesterday.

It usually starts with one simple question, “What the hell happened to me?” Before I even have a chance to conjure an answer, it leads to next question “When exactly did the proverbial Amtrak train jump the rails and begin its plummet down the mountainside into the deep, boulder-strewn ravine?”

“What karmic debt remains unpaid?” “Have I offended the god of office politics at some point in my life?” Most likely the answer to the later is yes. I’m not great with sharing simple office niceties and could really care less about how my cube-dwelling neighbor spent her weekend or how the latest lunch hour shopping spree netted Bimbo #1, the cutest, most spectacular pair of shoes! To put it simply, I’m not interested, I don’t care. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a thoughtless, insensitive individual and I love shoes, but why should I pretend to care about someone’s shoes, when I don’t. Why should I exhaust my already taxed energy reserves, listening to boorish reenactments of things I don’t really give a rat’s ass about?

Not only do I despise trivial office chit chat like how much my coworker drank the night before, I also don’t have an ounce of patience for stupid people. Now, I’ve heard the saying that “there is no such thing as a stupid question”. Well let me tell you - those individuals that believe this were blessed to have never crossed paths with a stupid person or they are either stupid people themselves and don’t recognize the signs. For every stupid person, there are at least as many stupid questions. Now I’m certainly not a rocket scientist and I likely appear to others as being an outspoken, sometimes hostile, thirty forty something woman that just doesn’t care who she offends by what she has to say. I care, but just not enough to stop me from being honest. Believe me, I know a stupid question when I hear one and during my career, I have tolerated enough stupid people and their stupid questions that I shouldn’t have to care if I offend someone with an honest opinion.

I don’t believe in lying to someone just for the sake of saving their feelings from being hurt. Honesty is the best policy and I believe that you can deliver any message – good or bad with a smile on your face and a tone in your voice that will leave your target wondering what the hell just happened to them.

In fact, I would love to yell “get away from my cube you stupid troll and don't come back until you have something intelligent to say”, but I don’t. I simply smile and make idle chit chat with hope that they quickly move on - all while trying not to seem too interested in what they are saying in case they decide to stay or god forbid return tomorrow.

Yep, I’ve probably offended the ass-kissing gods at some point in time. Likely not only once, but I suspect on a daily, frequent flyer kind of basis.


sounds like you are way better at faking nice than I am. i try but am not very good at it AT ALL.
CrazyCris said…
ouch! I hear you, I'm not at all good with the chit-chat, small talk etc either! If I'm not interested in what's being discussed I just clam up.
You must have telepathic powers because you just described my mood for the past 365 days. I think we both need some good tequila, we deserve it.
Beatriz Kim said…
I'm also a chit-chat hater. I'd rather work! hehehe... Though it's not hard to land on my curiosity box, when someone garners my interest and therefore I'm curious about what they will say. This doesn't mean chit chat, it means I ask the questions.

Thanks for commenting on my site!
Brian Miller said…
oh, i have those feelings as well...many things left on the doorstep of my mouth to keep the peace...if i was honest they are more my emotions than the honest words i need to say. maybe need to listen to more John Reuben..."Say what you need to say..."
Anonymous said…
I love it! Very creative!That's actually really cool.


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