30 August, 2016

Restless...Time to Write Again?

Yes, I’m still here. I’m sure there isn’t anyone out there listening anymore. That’s okay though – I just need to write, vent, get a load off, whatever...

I’ve found myself increasingly restless as of late and cannot pinpoint my problem. These feelings usually come and go within and few days, but these current feelings have lasted more than a few months now. I’m not sure what the root cause it, but I have some suspects.

1. Work. Work just sucks. I DO NOT enjoy what I’m doing here and haven’t for some time, although I’m determined to stick around as my “Early Retirement Plan” is still in the works. Last thing I want to do is pull up the anchor only to leave in a few more years, BUT I also don’t know that I can stand to stick around that long. It’s not a horrible place to work, it’s just the job itself that is not fulfilling. Actually, it’s soul sucking.

2. Early Retirement Plan. How could this possibly be making me cranky? Well, it’s not happening FAST enough for my liking and it’s my own fault. I’m working hard to pay down debt as soon as possible, but debt is one of those things that bites you in the ass if you’re not careful. Well, it has bitten me. I wouldn’t say I’m in over my head, but I’m a little deeper than I’d like to be right now. I know I’ll get there, but once again – it’s not happening FAST enough.

3. End of Summer. The end of official summer is near and that’s sent me into a spiral of doom and gloom. Before you know it, winter will be upon us and there will be less enjoyable time being spent outdoors. I’d like to try and embrace the colder weather and still get outside, but I won’t and I know it.

4. Friendships. I have many “friends”, but not many close friends. That’s okay. I’d rather have a few close friends, than a ton of fake ones. I’ve recently discovered what I thought to be a true friendship was actually a friendship of convenience. When you no longer serve a purpose, neither does your friendship. I’ve suspected it for some time, but I chose to ignore it for years. Well, not anymore – life’s too short for toxic people. I’ve moved on.

5. Mid Life Crisis. Is this even a thing for women? I might be having one as we speak. I have an overwhelming desire to take up thru-hiking – the type of hiking where you strap on a backpack with everything you need to survive and hike hundreds of miles through wilderness for weeks/months on end. Yep. I don’t even know where to start on that one, but the thought of escaping routine, technology and the comforts of home has been consuming my life at the moment. It’s like the adult form of running away. A girl can dream…

Well I could go on, but I don’t want to depress anyone too badly of those of you that still may be out there. This mood too shall pass…

Hopefully life has been treating you fairly.

23 December, 2015

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays and Happy However You Choose to Celebrate...

It's been one heck of a year.

As with any year, there have been good times, bad times, times of joy and times of sorrow.

I haven't blogged much this year and truly have missed it. Next year is around the corner, so I hope to have a fresh start.

See you soon!

18 August, 2015

Random Thoughts - Too Much Going On…

I have so much going on and “on my plate” at the moment, I don’t know where to start.

Summer seems to be flying by, but I can’t recall where it went.

I’ve only been to the beach a couple of times, whereas I’m usually there every weekend. The reason for my beachy absence has been a direct result of high water levels and high winds. When the water is high, the beach disappears. Combine little-to-no beach with high winds and waves crashing on shore, there isn’t a beach to walk on. The two times I have been, we’ve had to wade waste deep in the water for quite a distance until the beach opens up. Once again, high winds preclude me from wanting to venture waste deep into less-than-tropical water with crashing waves. Hence, not many visits to the beach.

Sooooo, instead, J and I have been seriously hitting the trails on our mountain bikes. When I bought my bike a year ago, I thought it was the dumbest idea…EVER! My cardio was horrible and I could only make it a couple of miles before my rear-end seized up and I thought I would pass out in the ditch from exertion. Fast forward a year and we a tearing up the trails. We have been averaging 27 miles per weekend, but this past weekend we did that distance in a mere 3 hours. I still stink at riding up hills and tend to hop off and walk at the midway point, but I’m pretty happy with my overall improvement.

I wish said bike riding brought on weight loss, but it has not. In fact, I’ve gained a few pounds. J is trying to convince me that fat is turning to muscle, which weighs more than fat, but I’m not necessarily buying it. I do recognize a difference in the way my clothes are fitting overall – I have more room in them in the hips and thigh areas, so maybe something is happening. Fingers crossed.

I’ve also noticed that with said bike riding, I’m receiving a lot of bruises – A LOT. I must just bruise easier than I used to because I can’t figure out where these are coming from. Bruises are turning up everywhere - on my legs, buttocks, thighs, knees, shins. I can’t show off my newly toned legs because they look like hell.

Both work and my boss are still crazy. I have nothing more to say about that.

Our side businesses are busy and it pains me that I’m already planning for my Christmas shows. How can that be? Ugh!

Our early retirement escape plan is still chugging along – barely. With the turn of the Canadian economy and the fall of the Canadian dollar, we are faced with the reality that our money is not going to go as far as we had hoped. We still have a few years to go, but I’m remaining suspect of a rebound. I’d rather prepare for the worse and hope for the best.

I’ve downsized my friends list – in person and on Facebook. I just can’t deal with senseless drama anymore and for my sanity, I’m removing it from my life. It’s sad really because we were once quite close. I wonder if I’ll miss those people. The person? Perhaps. The drama? No. Will they miss me? Unlikely that they will notice I’m gone, as they will be too busy still creating drama for themselves. Oh well, life goes on.

Well, there you have it. I’m still around – in body and spirit. Hope you are enjoying your Summer!

11 August, 2015

Man PMS...

First the Public Service Announcement: The opinions expressed here are my own. I’m not saying all men experience these symptoms, there are a few in my life that do, so I speak from experience. Whether real or perceived symptoms, they are a problem for me. If you are a sensitive man (or woman) – get over yourself, as I’m tired of dealing with your hissy fits.

So, I’ve noticed a trend… just like women, men experience PMS. My boss is a perfect example of this – his severe monthly mood swings, outbursts and hissy fits for no apparent reason, coupled with moments of over the top cheeriness and random acts of thoughtfulness. I’ve been working here for almost five years now and although, it’s not at necessarily the same time every month, it happens just the same.

This is not a segregated sensation sweeping the nation - I’ve also noticed this trend with the other men in my life. J and The Boy are prone to this behavior as well, as I’m sure many other men. Men just don’t realize it’s happening to them – it’s called denial.

Well, I’m here to tell you – I’m tired of it. If you can call me out on my cranky days, I’m sure as hell going to start calling you out on yours. It’s time the men in my life realize, I’m done coddling their sensitive egos. Just like women – men need to “suck it up buttercup and realize things will be better in a few days”. Until then, just stop and think before you open your mouth; otherwise be prepared to be scolded.

15 July, 2015

A Special Project...

In January, we hired a new lawyer, which allowed me to transition out of contracts and into other things, including a “special project”.  I’ve been actually working on this “special project” since August of last year, so until January, I was essentially doing the job of two people.  

That was until a couple of weeks ago.  The President of our company and the gentlemen I happened to be working on the project for, suffered a stroke.  The results of the MRI showed, the stroke was actually caused from a brain tumor.  The prognosis is not favorable.

I am devastated and I can’t even imagine how his family is feeling.  This gentlemen is in his early 80’s but has the brains and stamina of someone in his 30’s.  He was completely hands-on with his company, beyond successful and cares greatly for his employees – an unusual combination.   

I am told by the management team that stepped in – that the “special project” will proceed on the planned timeline; however with so many other pressing issues, it’s fallen to the bottom of their priority pile.  Without his guidance, backing and input, I feel slightly lost a sea at the moment and until someone decides to adjust their priorities – I wait.  

I’m determined that this “special project” will proceed.  It was something he wanted, and I’ll be sure it’s something he gets.