Beans, Beans, The Magical Fruit...
One of my family’s favorite weekend lunches is beans and wieners (aka - beans and hot dogs or aka – beans and franks). Weird, I know… but the men in the household enjoy anything that you can devour while piled on buttered bread.
A few months ago, I was in the process of preparing this gourmet fare. I know - I'm such a gourmet cook. The can of beans had been dumped in the pot and I was in process of cutting up the hot dogs (as they are called in here Canada), when my son saunters over to the kitchen counter and asks what I’m doing.
Here is a snippet of the conversation that followed:
Me: I’m making lunch.
The Boy: Why are you cutting up the hot dogs?
Me: What are you talking about?
The Boy: I’m asking why you are cutting up the hot dogs.
Me: You have to cut up the hot dogs in order to make “beans and wieners”.
The Boy: (With a look of horror and shock in his eyes.) WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I thought the hot dogs already came in the can.
Me: (no response – I just stare at him with disbelief)
The Boy: Seriously Mom, do the hot dogs not come already cut up in the can?
Me: No. Where have you been for the last 17 years of your life? I have to cut them up and put them in the beans.
The Boy: Oh my god! I’ve always thought beans and wieners came in a can together. I feel like I've just learned Santa Claus doesn't really exist.
Me: (By this time, I’m convulsing with laughter)
The Boy: Seriously, someone should invent beans and wieners in a can together. I know I’d buy them and my friends would too – especially if you could microwave them.
Me: Why don’t you get on that money making idea?
The Boy: I just might…I'm devastated by this reality.
My husband and I laughed at great length over my son’s naiveté on this one.
Fast forward to the week of March 22, 2010. The place – Rincon, Puerto Rico.
My husband and I are on holidays and we are cruising through the local grocery store in Rincon, Puerto Rico. I’m actually looking for the liquor aisle, but I also like to see what different products can be found – hot sauces, spices, etc. Grocery stores fascinate me. Don’t judge…
As I’m moving slowly along, my eyes focus on what I thought was a Campbell’s Soup label. Some Campbell’s Soups are made in Canada, so I lean in to take a closer look.
WTH? I see “Campbell’s Beans & Sliced Franks” written on the label. OMG! I can’t believe they actually DO make beans and wieners in a can! Where the hell have these things been all my life? Why can’t Canada actually have items like this…and cheese in a can too? I’ve obviously been missing out on so much.
My son was right – they should make them together in a can. Turns out they do…and The Boy is actually a genius. Well not really, but as a parent I have to say that.
Anyhow, I pick up a couple of cans to take home to my son. I think to myself he will be so happy to be vindicated. Besides, it’s time to move on – the locals were getting concerned over the two foreigners making such a big deal over a can of beans (and sliced franks).
As I get to the checkout I notice one small detail on the label that I had overlooked earlier…“Product of Canada”. Are you shitting me? Yep – “Campbell’s Beans & Sliced Franks” are made in Canada.
It’s a friggin conspiracy and crime against Canadian beans and wieners lovers everywhere. Why should I have to go to a foreign country to get something that’s made in my own backyard? I’ve said it before –it sometimes sucks to be Canadian…unless you’re talking about beer. That is something we’ve managed not to screw up.