30 September, 2009

I Rocked And Rolled All Nite...(sort of)...


The KISS concert was FANTASTIC last night. It was just what I needed to vent some pent up energy – WHOOO HOOO!!!



They took the stage at 9:00 and played until 11:30. Two and a half hours of non-stop Rock & Roll was a spectacle of awesomeness (if there is such a thing).


It’s hard to believe that this band has been touring for 35 years and can still manage to keep a crowd entertained while prancing around in those platform boots.


I would say the highlight of the evening would be the drum solo by Eric Singer. I didn’t think it was physically possible for someone’s arms to move at that rate of speed for such a constant period of time. Seriously, it lasted for at least 10 minutes!


We had excellent seats and I’m thankful J had the foresight to bring ear plugs because without them, I would be hearing impaired today. As it is, my internal organs are still vibrating and my heart beat hasn’t returned to its original rhythm. Is it possible for heart arithema to be caused by too much rock & roll?

29 September, 2009

Misery and Passion...

Holy crap, here I go again. It’s Tuesday morning and before I have even had a chance to finish my first cup of coffee, I’ve ran out of things to do. How the hell am I going to make it through the next 8 hours?


I’m starting to get the feeling that I am a certain someone’s insurance policy. It’s like I’ve been brought here for no other reason than a potential backup for the scenario “in case someone gets hit by a bus”. This scenario in the corporate world, I believe is called cross training. Yep, it makes perfect sense - considering I am serving no other real purpose than taking up space and sucking up air that could otherwise be used by the actual participating, contributing members of working society. Once I again, I ponder my future.


I can’t seem to win. When I have enough work to keep me busy and the days are whizzing by, I am stuck working for asses in a virtual hell-hole. Then, when I finally have an employer that I enjoy working with, I don’t have enough work to get me through the first hour of my day. Either way, the end results are the same – I am miserable. If it wasn’t for the sad economy and the need for a pay check, I would be moving on to greener, more fruitful pastures. I want to be passionate about something other than lunch.


This ongoing lack of career fulfillment is a plague that has shadowed me for far too long. I obviously have bad judgment or issues with my moral compass. Is there such a thing as echolocation for humans? I liken myself to a whale that repeatedly beaches itself for no apparent reason. I flounder about, suffocating in my own misery, until I’m pushed into deeper water, free at last; however my freedom is short-lived and before you know it, I’ve turned from my voyage to open water and have proceeded to once again beach myself into misery and despair. How long will my carcass rot in the sun this time? Will the tide turn? Will there ever be another chance to swim to freedom or am I simply destined for mediocrity? Ughh!!


Like innocent bystanders, my friends and family members watch helplessly, knowing full well that they could not have predicted my next move or convinced me that perhaps I should rethink career paths entirely, because in the end, I would do what I wanted to do, no matter what the consequences. My career life is like a car accident – you slow down to take a look, regardless of how gruesome the sight might be.


Believe me, I try to find things to occupy my day. I’ve alphabetized, digitized, prioritized and organized everything within my path and surrounding areas. I’ve color coded files, created lists, spreadsheets, flowcharts, summary sheets, organizational charts and databases. I’ve even created a database of all of my databases. My only option for entertainment is to start making fun on my co-workers and they aren't that entertaining to begin with. Seriously, I need help.

28 September, 2009

Stupid Question Day...

Now, I’ve heard the saying that “there is no such thing as a stupid question”. Well let me tell you - those individuals that believe this were blessed to have never crossed paths with a stupid person or they are either stupid people themselves and don’t recognize the signs. For every stupid person, there are at least as many stupid questions and therefore, I bring you today…

“Ask A Stupid Question Day” – September 28th.

Here are a few of my favorites (courtesy of Brain Candy) - some are stupid, others are pure genius…
  • Do you know where you lost it?
  • Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
  • What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
  • Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
  • When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
  • How does a person with a lisp pronounce that word?
  • How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold?
  • Why can't we tickle ourselves?
  • Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
  • Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them?

26 September, 2009

Cookies for the Season...

I found this recipe at Run Betty Run's blog and since it looked pretty good, I did what any cookie lover would do - I forwarded it to our office receptionist and said "boy, these cookies look really good". Magically, a batch appeared on my desk the very next day...just like the carrot cake did a few weeks ago. I'll say it again...I LOVE that girl.

Anyhow, in the event you want to give them a try, they are really easy to make (so I'm told) and I have a first hand account of their tastiness.

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Cookies

1 C whole-wheat flour
1 C ground quick oats
1 T cinnamon
2 T cornstarch
1 t fine sea salt
1 t baking powder
1/2 C butter
1 1/2 C sugar
1/2 C pumpkin purée
1 T pure vanilla extract
1 C chocolate chips

In a medium bowl, blend flour, oats, cinnamon, cornstarch, salt, and baking powder.

In a large bowl, cream together butter and sugar. Stir in pumpkin and vanilla until combined.

Fold dry ingredients into wet, until combined. Stir in chips.

Place cookies on parchment paper lined cookie sheets, and flatten your cookies as much as you like.

Cover with plastic wrap and refridgerate for as long as you can stand it: 3 hours is ideal, longer is better.

Preheat oven to 350°F. Bake cookies for 17 minutes, or until golden on top and around the edges. Transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

Yields about 24 medium cookies


Enjoy! If you feel the need to share, I'd be a willing recipient of your generosity.

25 September, 2009

Random Thoughts - Racoons and Asses...

Three months from today is Christmas. By this time on Christmas Day, the turkey will be in the oven, the presents will have been opened and I will be well on my way to a rum and egg nog buzz. Ahhh – good times….


There were seven roadkill raccoons along my commute route this morning. Seven seems like an unusually high number - perhaps there was some sort of mass raccoon suicide plot I wasn’t aware of. At least it wasn’t the skunks.


My dreams of running a marathon have been cut short – I’ve been sidelined with by a pre-existing injury. As far as the running coaches know, they are at fault - by making me run like a lunatic and not letting me stop for a rest (while enjoying a strawberry shake at Burger King).


I was so inspired by Chrissy’s Boob Envy post that I thought I would share a secret with you – I love my ass(es). Best described as cute, perky and soft to the touch and while probably a little larger than average, I’m satisfied with the appearance and would invite you to take a look.





I told you – CUTE. Right?

24 September, 2009

I'm Fabooo...

This fabulous fantastical award came from my friend Chrissy @ I Shoulda Been a Stripper. Thanks Chrissy!

The requirements for this award are to post the award on my blog, linking it to the presenter. Next, I must list only 5 of my biggest obsessions. And last, but not least, I must pass this award on to 5 other worthy bloggers.

So, here are today's 5 biggest obsessions:

1. Travel & Adventure. I spend my days dreaming of travel destinations and scheming of how I can get there. I’ve even offered to "take one for the team" and move to Australia to open up a company field office, but management isn’t buying what I’m selling. *sigh*

2. Being Busy @ Work. My day is typically spent reading e-books, blogging and surfing the internet. Basically – I’m a professional time waster, which just gives me more time to lust over my travel needs.

3. Afternoon Naps on Weekends. My weekend plans are structured strictly around nap time - my nap time.

4. Weight Loss. Just like Chrissy, I obsess about losing 20 pounds (at least). Honestly, I would settle for 7 or 5. Something, anything!

5. Moving Somewhere Warm. I strongly dislike cold weather, which doesn’t bode well for me well living in Canada. If I could, I would sell everything I own and move to a warmer climate tomorrow – somewhere in the Caribbean would be nice.

I forward this to the fabu people below:


MJ @ In So Many Words

CrazyCris @ Here There and Everywhere

K13 @ Someday I'll Get There

Señorita Andalucíana @ The Decline of Youth and Beginning of Me

Brian @ Waystation One

23 September, 2009

I Want Wednesdays...Beach Edition

Since the Lotto Fairy hasn’t granted my wish to become a millionaire, I’ve resigned myself to settling for the smaller things in life. In this installment of “I Want Wednesdays”, I want…


Portable Speaks for my iPod. Two of my favorite things are the beach and music and with this little addition, I could enjoy both in one.


Portable Grill. I love to eat and typically all I can think about when I’m lying on the beach is “is it lunch yet?” O.K. that thought is not reserved solely for the beach… you get the point – I’m always hungry. This handy little item could solve my problem.



Bottle Opener Sandals. Now, I need to find a portable beer fridge than runs on AA’s …



Beer Belly. Yes, I already have one of these and expect that it might get even larger if I had one of these. It's a little large and I can just imagine the tan lines it will leave, but if I can't find the portable beer fridge, this might serve me well enough in a pinch or if it doesn't come in my size, I'll settle for the guy in the photo - whatever works....


22 September, 2009

Smell You Later...

My grandma used to say that “a skunk can’t smell its own scent”. This comment was usually in response to my grandpa passing gas and then acting all innocent when everyone else within his vicinity was left gagging and fleeing the room.

Last night was a pleasantly warm evening and in order to enjoy what remains of the summer-like weather, I had left the bedroom windows open – content to enjoy the warmth of the evening, the gentle breeze caressing the curtains and the sounds of the crickets lulling me to sleep.

I had no sooner settled in to bed and just started to drift into a gentle slumber when the smell hits me. At first it was a slight whiff of something that I couldn’t quite place. Although it wasn’t pleasant, it wasn’t quite offensive either, but as I was lying there, the smell gained momentum – coincidentally, as J shifted positions and ruffled the covers. Hmmm, something was amiss.

“What the hell did he eat?” was my first thought, but if I’ve learned one thing in these cases, it’s best to lie still and “play dead” because movement just makes the matters worse, much, much worse.

At first, I try ignoring the smell, willing myself to sleep, but as it starts to overcome my survival instincts, I’m forced to roll away from the offending smell.

Me: “Holy hell, you stink. What did you eat today – cabbage and beans?”

J: “Me? I thought it was you.”

Me: “It’s not me. Woman don’t fart, they poof and poofs DO NOT smell like that.”

J: “Well it’s not me.”

Me: “You wouldn’t admit it even if it was you. Besides skunks can’t smell their own scent.”

J: “What does that even mean?”

As we continue to argue about whose to blame for the offending odor and the meaning of that stupid statement, I realize the smell is coming from outside the bedroom window, which is directly above our heads. As I look out the window, I see the skunk sauntering away – taking his sweet ole time, most likely laughing its ass off.

Although, I had immediately closed the bedroom windows, it was too late and by then, the odor had completely infiltrated the entire bedroom and had lodged itself in my taste buds.

Lesson learned: Don’t play dead in all life or death situations; sometimes quick and decisive action is the only course of action.

21 September, 2009

Workplace Hazards - Compliment Whores...

Maybe it has something to do with the world becoming overly “politically” correct. Everyone is afraid to speak their minds, in worry that they may offend someone. Instead, the world had turned into false greetings and trivial conversation. What for? I say, “Let the chips fall where they may, life’s too short to suffer mindless boredom.”


Contrary to the popular belief, I’m pretty accepting. I will go out of my way to be of assistance to a co-worker in need (provided they haven’t offended me first). No job is beneath me (well almost, but it depends on who you are). I never expect anyone to do anything for me that I wouldn’t be willing to do myself and I expect the same in return; however I will seldom ask for the assistance of others, as I simply find it easier to do it myself. There is one exception to my co-worker nicety rule - I can’t stand trivial nothingness, or high pitch squeals of delight accompanied by discussions of the latest weekend shoe or accessory purchases.


A co-worker, who I have named the “ugly step sister” has stopped by the surrounding cubicles for the second time today ranting about her fantastic shoes. Although she is not speaking to me directly, her nasal whine catches my attention and from what I gather, her new shoes make her feel like freaking Cinderella with her glass slippers. Believe me, she is no Cinderella and as I stifle a snort, I try to choke back my obvious disgust with that statement. I can’t decide if I have an overwhelming urge to vomit or bludgeon her to death with her plastic shoes.


“Oh my god”, I scream to myself as I hear her talking about her friggin shoes again and now she has taken to showing men her shoes and asking them “Aren’t my shoes the cutest things you’ve ever seen?” I think to myself “please, just wear a lower cut shirt if you need attention that badly. No one cares about your shoes and besides they are hideous and so are you.”


As the cackling continues from the other shoe groupies surrounding her, I decide my best course of action is to get up and take a walk before I do something I may regret. Who am I kidding, I wouldn’t regret a moment of it, but I digress…


I understand that everyone one loves to be complimented, whether it be on a new hairstyle, outfit or even a pair of shoes. As human beings, we crave the attention. My problem lies with those that need to seek out the compliment at any cost. These people are not content with just waiting for the compliment to be paid; they need to hunt it down by flaunting the item blatantly until someone coughs up some words of kindness. Kindness, which I point out is not sincere.


It continues…“Look at my new shoes. Aren’t they fabulous? They are like a jelly shoe, but harder. I love them so much and I only paid $150 for them. The price was worth it, they make me feel just like a princess, just like Cinderella.”


Regardless of our true feelings, the response is well rehearsed and typical. “Oh, they are so cute. Where did you get them? Are they comfortable? Look at you, you just look so damn sexy.”


When in fact, what we are thinking is, “Are you kidding me? Actually they look like hell. Are you out of your mind to pay that kind of money for something so hideous? Next time, maybe you should consider spending your extra cash on some therapy.”


Compliments are like respect, they should be earned. They are a right, not a privilege and anyone that actively seeks them out should be wary of the response they may receive, as they may just get more than they bargained for - the truth.

18 September, 2009

Seriously?? What Was He Thinking???

I was feeling pretty good after my “Fall” post of yesterday and was slowly coming to terms with the cold reality that after Fall comes the shitiest time of year Winter. According to my calendar, I should have approximately another 6 more weeks of semi-tolerable weather. I was feeling fine…until…



While enjoying my morning coffee, my jackass lovely husband had taken it upon himself to stomp on my fantasy of everlasting warmth and informs me that he has made an appointment for my snow tires to be put on my car in last week of October. While I applaud his forward-thinking nature, WTH was he thinking? You would think that he has learned that I will not tolerate that kind of trash-talk in my household.



And then, since he’s on a roll, he decides that perhaps we should make a trip to Home Depot tonight and purchase this:


Cub Cadet 28" Snow Thrower (Photo Courtesy of Home Depot)


His explanation: “We should get one early. Remember last year, they sold out.”


Me: “You know if you bring it home - IT will come.”


Him: “What will come?”


Me: “The @$*%!* snow you moron.”


Him: “Well at least we’ll be prepared. Just like the boy scouts.”


Me: “I am prepared. I’m prepared to go all spider monkey on your ass if you mention winter to me again, especially not before I’ve had my coffee and certainly not before November 15th!”



He obviously ignored my rant about the snow tires two minutes earlier or he would have known what was coming. I think there is something wrong with him – the man is just not right…

17 September, 2009

Coming Soon to Canada...

I certainly don’t require a calendar to point out the fact that the autumnal equinox in the Northern Hemisphere is next Tuesday – September 22nd and being located north of the 49th parallel, it becomes apparent early on what next week will bring – Fall.

I love the Fall season, I just don’t like what comes after it…brrrr

Signs of Fall in Canada

  • When I wake up, it’s dark and when I leave for work, it’s still dark and soon, I will be driving home in the dark as well. It’s no wonder, I feel like a sun-deprived mole 85% of the year.
  • The overnight temperature is dipping lower and lower. My wooly socks have once again become a part of my nightly ensemble. Soon it will be time to put away the cotton sheets in exchange for the flannel ones and electric blanket.
  • The Canada Geese have begun to fly in their famous “V” pattern and my deck is directly beneath their daily flight pattern. Damn flying rodents… I can’t quite figure out where there going because they certainly aren’t headed south.
  • Soon I will have to admit defeat and put away my summer clothes and haul out the winter ones. In Fall and Spring, I’m faced with the reality that I have gained weight during the time my old favorites were resting comfortably at the back of my closet.
  • With Thanksgiving arriving in Canada on October 12th, Thanksgiving and Halloween decorations are everywhere. The local grocery stores are advertising “Order your Thanksgiving Turkey early to avoid disappointment”. Believe me, this is a scam, there are always plenty of turkeys to go round and no one is left disappointed. MmmMmmm, turkey…
  • Pumpkin Spice Lattes are back at Starbucks. Enough said.
  • The new fall television season is about to start and to that I give a big shout out - thank you baby Jesus! I don’t think I could take another repeat of Myth Busters, Dirty Jobs or J’s new favorite – Ice Road Truckers.

16 September, 2009

Words of Wisdom...

  • Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
  • The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
  • It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
  • Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.
  • Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
  • No one is listening until you pass gas.
  • Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
  • Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  • If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
  • Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
  • If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  • Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
  • If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  • If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
  • Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.
  • Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
  • The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
  • A closed mouth gathers no foot.
  • Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
  • There are two theories about arguing with women. Neither one works.
  • Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
  • Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  • Never miss a good chance to shut up.
  • We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass...then things get worse.
  • Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
  • There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
  • No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
  • There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11.
  • Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
  • THE MOST WASTED DAY OF ALL IS ONE IN WHICH WE HAVE NOT LAUGHED.

15 September, 2009

“Running won't kill you, you'll pass out first!”

Well, after last night and the torture/running clinic, I’m happy to report the following:

  • The running instructor chose a ghetto route for our first run. There is nothing like a little visual motivation to keep you running and the verbal heckling from the crack heads and AA rejects certainly provided some positive reinforcement.
  • It was a 3K running clinic, so silly me thought we should have stopped at the 3K mark, but apparently the instructor didn’t get THAT memo and we ended up finally stopping at 2.25 miles or 3.6K. It may have been my cursing and threat of a lawsuit that suddenly encouraged her change of heart.
  • There were three running instructors in total and each one of them would ask at alternating intervals “Are you having fun? Are you feeling any pain?” WTH? I couldn’t even manage a breath to respond to those stupid inquiries and as God as my witness, if I could have caught up to any of them, I would have tackled them to the ground and kicked them in the shins.
  • When my friend asked if I was interested in joining her, she informed me it would only be for 1 hour, 1 night a week. Easy peasy – right? Turns out - she was WRONG and I’m required to run with the fanatics 2 nights a week and the nights I’m not running with them, I should be cross training, running on my own or riding my bike. Hell no! The new television season is about to start and without the new season, I will be caused undue stress and suffering. Now you can understand, why I NEED new friends – the ones I have are either dysfunctional or pathological liars.
  • There is a reason why I’ve never taken up running before – it’s awful, but I’m hopeful it will get better, but if it doesn’t get better, I’m at least hoping I get a little faster so that I can catch up to those instructors and ask them “Are you feeling any pain with my foot up your ass?”. Ahhh, it’s good to have a personal goal…
  • On the upside, I’m still alive when I seriously doubted I wouldn’t be and since I’m too stubborn to quit, from this point on my motto will be “suck it up buttercup.”

14 September, 2009

Run Fat Boy Run...


After surviving the temptations of high school and college and learning how to effectively say “NO” throughout adulthood; I have finally snapped and caved into peer pressure. I am a hypocrite. I am about to do something that I never thought I would. I am disappointed in myself and ashamed by my actions and now my only hope is that I do not bring shame upon my family.


What have I done? Well apart from losing my mind, in a moment of weakness, I have agreed to join a friend and train for a 3K. Seriously what was I thinking? I despise running and particularly hate all the sweating, wheezing, breathless, nausea-related parts and unless I’m being chased by a raging rhinoceros, I would prefer not to do it.


It’s always something I thought I might be interested in doing and competing in a triathlon is one of those things on my bucket list. In honesty, it’s that one thing I’ve put on the list to force me to do everything else on the list first – not thinking I would actually have to follow through and compete in one.


I hear it’s a great way to loose weight, but then again I’ve heard the same thing about Alli and refuse to try that method. The worst part of all this, I’m pretty competitive so I’ll refuse to admit defeat regardless of how painful the process will be and with that, I certainly won’t be the best or fastest in the group, but I can guarantee you that I won’t be the last to arrive at the finish line.


Since I’ve enjoyed following K13’s progress with her 5K endeavors on her blog, I plan on using her as my source of inspiration throughout the difficult times ahead. If she can manage her continuing education, a career, a household (complete with a two year old) and still manage to run at the end of the day, I should be able to manage..ummm...something…



Wish me luck, the first torture session starts tonight and tomorrow, I will likely need to call in sick.


11 September, 2009

Just a Photo (or Three)....

As fall is quickly approaching, I thought I would share a few photos that were taken by J in our backyard this past weekend. I love my gardens this time of year and need these photos of a reminder in order to get me through the cold, dark days of winter...


Monarch & Butterfly Bush (hmmm, I wonder why it's called that?)


Toad Lily


Grasshopper

10 September, 2009

Sensitivity in an Insensitive World...

I’ve never been an overly sensitive person – at least not until recently. Understand that I am fairly sensitive to others feelings, but I’m not easily offended by others actions towards me. Having said that, lately I’m finding myself bothered by little things – little things that would have typically either gone unnoticed or I would have shrugged off as stupidity on the part of the offending party. Maybe it’s just that I have more time to dwell on these little things or perhaps the little things aren’t so little after all. Whatever it is, I don’t like it and hope it leaves as fast as it arrived, as I much prefer my impervious nature. Sensitivity sucks!


There are a few things that are guaranteed to set me off and once I’m off, we’ve surpassed the point of no return. The #1 thing that sends my blood pressure boiling is being called (to my face) “miserable”, “grumpy”, “bitchy” or any similar form of slander. Feel free to call me what you will behind my back, but seriously to my face? 98% of the time, I can guarantee that I wasn’t any of the above until you mentioned it and now that the deed is done, I’m beyond coherent or civil. Your insensitivity has ruined my day and you are an asshole. Thanks for reminding me that sensitivity sucks…


Effective immediately, I’ve stopped caring about things that aren’t in my control. I am tired of being let down by others – including some of my closest friends and family members. Some people are compassionate and caring, some people are idiots and care only about themselves and regardless of how strong you are; you may let down and become disenchanted with the human race from time to time and as unfortunate as this is, you can learn a life lesson from it. Learn to count on yourself and if you do, you shouldn’t be disappointed and if you are, it’s your own fault.



A wise man or woman once said:


“Remember, when someone annoys you, it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown. BUT, it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and SMACK the asshole upside the head.”


Okay, now I feel better – perhaps I’m not so sensitive after all…

09 September, 2009

I Want Wednesdays...Shiny Objects Edition...

In this edition of “I Want Wednesdays”, I’ve decided to dream big.

I’ve always said that if I won the lottery (or found myself a sugar daddy), I would give more to charity – both in time and money, I would travel more and work less (if at all) and of course, I’d help friends and family.

Ultimately, I believe I wouldn’t change and I used to believe that I wouldn’t splurge on frivolous items. I’ve recently rethought that moral stance and am no longer committed to taking the high road and solely doing good for others. It’s all about me today and if I was ever to win an obscene amount of money, I would splurge and these are a few of the things that I would purchase.

D&G Sunglasses – I love sunglasses and my choices would no longer be limited by cost.


D&G Purse – I love how the purse matches the sunglasses and it would be large enough to carry around all of my money.


D&G Footwear – Of course, I would kill myself walking in these (if I could get them over my ham-like calves), but damn I would look great if I was just sitting and posing for the paparazzi.



Rolex Watch – I’ve always wanted a Rolex and this one suits my needs.




Tiffany Emerald Ring – Ooohhh, shiny objects are a girl’s best friend. Although it doesn't match the watch, but who cares because I would be stinking rich.

08 September, 2009

What I Did On My Summer Vacation - An Essay...

Well technically, I didn’t take a summer vacation, but I thought it would be fun to take a look back at the Summer of 2009 and reflect for a moment.


  • The weather was the worst possible in memory. Although I do have a selective memory and could be embellishing the facts because I’m slightly jaded that Labor Day signals the “end of summer” for me, I stand by the statement that this summer’s weather was crappy. June and July were the rainiest on record (at least it was where I live near the North Pole) and August was colder than usual. I don’t know what I’ve done to piss off Mother Nature, but I’ve certainly been punished – perhaps it’s my lack of enthusiasm for the winter season.

  • After 3 years, J and I completed the last phase of our deck and landscaping in the backyard. It looks fantastic and perhaps next summer, I will actually be able to enjoy it. I’d post a picture if J wasn’t paranoid that some internet stalker will be able to identify where we live by the photo and show up unannounced in our backyard. He can’t seem to understand that we live in Canada and we aren't that interesting, so no one is actually that desperate to stalk us.

  • My son took a trip to Alaska. It was his first big adventure away from home and as it turns out, he managed just fine without his parents. Although disappointing to admit that he is growing up, it brings me great satisfaction to know, he can get from point A to point B without loosing himself or his personal belongings along the way.

  • I managed to obtain 3 flat tires this summer - all thanks to the summer roadwork that has littered my commute route.

  • I have read 18 e-books throughout the course of the summer and not one of them were read on evenings or weekends. Work may have been slow, but I certainly managed to be productive.

  • In mid July, J insisted on buying a 90 gallon fish tank, so since then my life has been consumed with visits to various aquarium and pet stores throughout Southwestern Ontario – all in search of aquarium crap. As with all relationships, they require give and take and I’m taking this one and placing it somewhere special until I’m ready to play the “remember when” card. What has my life come to that I consider “fish shopping” entertainment? Seriously, I need help.

  • In a last minute attempt at some summer excitement, J and I threw caution to the wind and took a random trip to the zoo on Sunday. As entertaining as the zoo animals were, parents with strollers and over-stimulated screaming children were not. On the upside, the sun was shining, so a lot was forgiven. I personally think the zoo was J’s attempt at locating some new aquarium stores along the way, but since I was driving I wasn’t having any of it and pretended not to understand his subtle hints. After all, there is only so much excitement one person can possibly handle and the zoo did it for me.


I’m sure there were other things done and accomplished, but I can’t for the life of me think of what they were, so I suspect they weren’t all that riveting to begin with. I’m blaming the lack of stimulation, sunshine and warmth for the stunt in my personal growth in the Summer of 2009. C'est la vie - there’s always next year…