Reasons I Hate Mondays...




“Mondays are the potholes in the road of life”. Tom Wilson


Reasons I Hate Mondays...


  • I always need to stop at the gas station on Monday mornings. One would think I would plan ahead and just fill-up on Sundays, but sadly – no. I guess I’m too stubborn to admit that I didn’t win the weekend lottery and will in fact have to go to work.

  • On Mondays, my commute route is littered by “speed traps”. If I were a cop, I would prefer to catch speeders on a Friday – you know catching them as they race to start the weekend, but sadly I’m not a cop and as such don’t make the rules. Only sick bastard cops insist on catching those poor people that have hit the snooze button a few too many times and then had to stop and get gas and haven’t had their damn coffee yet. Yes, I am speaking from experience!

  • On Mondays, the drive-thru at the coffee shop is always packed with lazy-asses that refuse to get out of their car and walk inside to get their coffee. Yes, I realize I’m one of those lazy-asses today, but I have a couple of excuses. One - I’ve already gotten out of my car to get gas and I don’t feel the need to do it again and two – I’m avoiding people that I work with. There is nothing worse that waiting in line and have to make small talk chit chat with our HR Manager. I dislike her on a daily basis, but on Mondays, she cannot be tolerated and I cannot be trusted to properly use my “common sense” filter in her presence.

  • On Mondays, my desk is usually cluttered with crap that my boss has placed upon it over the weekend. Since he doesn’t actually have a life, he takes the opportunity of the weekend to clean up his office and my desk is his dumping ground. God forbid he actually puts anything in the garbage, recycle or shredder himself. No, it’s obviously an efficient use of his time and mine to place post-it notes on ever single piece of paper with “file”, “shred”, “recycle” or “garbage” instructions on them. It’s pathetically sad, but true. Who knew I was soooo stupid that I couldn’t figure out where empty used envelopes belong.

  • I typically make myself lunch, but on Mondays I usually have it eaten by 10:15, so I’m forced out of the building to find something else for actual lunch. It’s usually always an unhealthy choice since I’m so friggin stressed out by it being a Monday that salad is simply not an option. Meatball sub, you have a date with destiny.

  • I contemplate calling in sick everyday every Monday, but then worry that I might be needed for some important project at work that may have come up over the weekend. Oh yeah, who am I kidding? Unless you can count, adding paper to the photocopier and knowing how to read the post-it notes littering my desk, I haven’t done anything worthwhile here in months.

  • I’d like to say, the joke is on them because they pay me a silly amount of money to do nothing all day, but sadly I’m not laughing because except for the blogging, what I do is mind-numbing - stick a finger in my eye, mind-numbing. Having so much time on my hands gives me no other choice than to focus on my co-worker’s faults and believe me, there is plenty to focus on and tomorrow is a new blog day.


“On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.”

H. Allen Smith

Comments

Michel said…
HA! priceless!

It could be worse! You could be working in Sudan and your monday starts on Sunday so not only does it feel like your weekend is ruined, God is obviously pissed your working on his day and punishes you by making you stay in Sudan.

There! feel better now??
@M.J. - A sigh says it all.

@Michel - Thanks! You did make me feel better. Although I do suspect God is pissed at me most of the time, but at least not enough to make me work Sundays.
Brian Miller said…
the good news is monday only happens once each week...unfortunately the cops work every other day of the week as well...and the line will still be at the coffee shop...but it wont be monday at least, right? hope your day got better as it went along. smiles.
@Brian - Thanks for your kind words. I'm always miserable on Mondays and you would think I would do something about it (or at least avoid the things that make me this way), but sadly I don't. Tomorrow is a new day :)
JW.BW said…
Im sorry you hate Mondays, but reading this post really made mine!!! HA you are such a trip!!!

A little tip from a cop's wife, if you flatter the cop, he wont write you a ticket. Atleast my hubby always caves to flattery and people who are nice and polite to him.

Too funny about your boss, i give you much credit for dealing with that. I wouldnt beable to resist labeling everything in his office one day while he was at lunch like "chair" "desk" "stapler" "computer", but im in the Navy and its damn near impossible to get fired, so I dont know Id actually reccomend for you to do this... but it would be funny!!

thanks for the great post!!
Chrissy said…
I didn't win the lottery, either. And I take it so personally.

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