Don't Mess With Texas - Yeah Right!

As, I am still awaiting a firm offer of employment from this opportunity, I will share with you another “bad-boss” story.

This one is about a guy named Jack. I fondly thought of him as Jack Ass. Jack was from Texas. As you know, everything is apparently bigger in Texas and therefore Jack was the grandest asshole of them all.

There are many things that made him an unacceptable boss - for example, this man believed it was perfectly acceptable to submit expense receipts for lap dances and when I questioned the validity of these as business expenses, I was told “not to worry my pretty little head about it” and just submit them as “entertainment expenses”. Yup, who knew?

My office was side-by-side with Jack’s and instead of simply walking to my office or picking up the phone and dialing my extension, he would yell down the office corridor. “GIRRRLLL! I say, I say, GIRRRLLL! Can you come in here a second?” Seriously, he sounded like Foghorn Leghorn with his Texas accent and the slight stutter.

The first dozen times this happened, thinking it must be extremely important, I would jump up, run in with pen in hand to see what the man could possibly need. Nope, he was simply too freakin lazy to get up from behind his king size desk and saunter 20 paces to my office and the thought of dialing my 3 digit extension number on the phone would have most certainly caused the man a coronary.

My reaction would soon change. When the bellowing would begin, I would close my eyes and begin some deep breathing exercises and would let him continue for a minute or two “GIRRRLLL! I say, I say, GIRRRLLL! Can you come in here a second? “GIRRRLLL! I say, I say, GIRRRLLL! Did you not hear me?”

When I couldn’t possibly take it any longer, I would take one final, long breath and would scream back at him, “WHAAAT! WHAAAT! WHAAAT! I SAY, I SAY, WHAT DO YOU WANT?” With the office suddenly silent, except for the sound of the blood pressure ringing in my ears and the sound of my co-workers ducking for cover, I could hear him shuffle out from behind his desk, appearing in my doorway. “Could you sharpen my pencil for me?” With my eyes locked on him, waiting for something else to spew from him bearded mouth, I bit my tongue and replied “Sure thing Jack”. What I actually wanted to say was, “Would you like me to stick up you’re a$$ for you as well?”

From that day forward, Jack did not bother to yell at me from his office, nor did he ask me to sharpen his pencil. I would like to believe that some form of respect was gained from him that day or maybe it was a healthy dose of fear.


Brian Miller said…
and they wonder why workplace violence is on the rise...this one would have been a tough swallow...good luck on the offer...waiting on one myself that would send me back to Florida...Thursday...
@ Brian - Good luck on the offer. Are you o.k. with relocating back to FL?
Sorry you had to experience Texas that way but just think of it this way. Our idiots are bigger in Texas but so are our hearts and not everyone is an ass like Jack Ass!

I say, I say, you should have given him a foot up the ass! Must have been from Dallas.
@ SA - I realize not everyone from Texas is like Jack and I certainly don't begrudge Texas in anyway. Funny you should mention it though - he WAS from Dallas!
LOL! That's so funny! Believe me Dallas is all new money that thinks they're entitled to say and do stupid things! I have yet to meet people from the Dallas area that I like.
K13 said…
No way!!!! I cannot believe someone would actually do that. Wow!! People never cease to amaze me. I'm glad you put him in his place though -even if he never admitted it!
@K13 - Yeah, that man was a real treat!
Anonymous said…

Hahahah.. that part got me laughing to tears!

But seriously, though... if you're too lazy to walk, it's much more simple to call then to yell across the hall... For goodness sakes...

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