31 August, 2009

Reasons I Hate Mondays...

“Mondays are the potholes in the road of life”. Tom Wilson

Reasons I Hate Mondays...

  • I always need to stop at the gas station on Monday mornings. One would think I would plan ahead and just fill-up on Sundays, but sadly – no. I guess I’m too stubborn to admit that I didn’t win the weekend lottery and will in fact have to go to work.

  • On Mondays, my commute route is littered by “speed traps”. If I were a cop, I would prefer to catch speeders on a Friday – you know catching them as they race to start the weekend, but sadly I’m not a cop and as such don’t make the rules. Only sick bastard cops insist on catching those poor people that have hit the snooze button a few too many times and then had to stop and get gas and haven’t had their damn coffee yet. Yes, I am speaking from experience!

  • On Mondays, the drive-thru at the coffee shop is always packed with lazy-asses that refuse to get out of their car and walk inside to get their coffee. Yes, I realize I’m one of those lazy-asses today, but I have a couple of excuses. One - I’ve already gotten out of my car to get gas and I don’t feel the need to do it again and two – I’m avoiding people that I work with. There is nothing worse that waiting in line and have to make small talk chit chat with our HR Manager. I dislike her on a daily basis, but on Mondays, she cannot be tolerated and I cannot be trusted to properly use my “common sense” filter in her presence.

  • On Mondays, my desk is usually cluttered with crap that my boss has placed upon it over the weekend. Since he doesn’t actually have a life, he takes the opportunity of the weekend to clean up his office and my desk is his dumping ground. God forbid he actually puts anything in the garbage, recycle or shredder himself. No, it’s obviously an efficient use of his time and mine to place post-it notes on ever single piece of paper with “file”, “shred”, “recycle” or “garbage” instructions on them. It’s pathetically sad, but true. Who knew I was soooo stupid that I couldn’t figure out where empty used envelopes belong.

  • I typically make myself lunch, but on Mondays I usually have it eaten by 10:15, so I’m forced out of the building to find something else for actual lunch. It’s usually always an unhealthy choice since I’m so friggin stressed out by it being a Monday that salad is simply not an option. Meatball sub, you have a date with destiny.

  • I contemplate calling in sick everyday every Monday, but then worry that I might be needed for some important project at work that may have come up over the weekend. Oh yeah, who am I kidding? Unless you can count, adding paper to the photocopier and knowing how to read the post-it notes littering my desk, I haven’t done anything worthwhile here in months.

  • I’d like to say, the joke is on them because they pay me a silly amount of money to do nothing all day, but sadly I’m not laughing because except for the blogging, what I do is mind-numbing - stick a finger in my eye, mind-numbing. Having so much time on my hands gives me no other choice than to focus on my co-worker’s faults and believe me, there is plenty to focus on and tomorrow is a new blog day.

“On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks.”

H. Allen Smith

29 August, 2009

I'm Gonna Rock n Roll All Night & Party Every Day! (and then take Tylenol)

I am happy to report that I scored the tickets I was hoping for. Whoo Hoo!!

Funny thing, I actually managed to buy more than I needed. Yup - you see when I was trying to purchase them on line, the best I could get were the 2nd best tickets, so in desperation I purchased them and then I checked ticket availability again and this time, the best tickets were available, so I purchased them too.

Thinking I would be such a fantastic mom and treat my son to his first rock concert, I asked my son if he would be interested in going and taking a friend. His response "Ummm, no I don't think so - those guys are old and I don't even know any of their music. It would just be awkward." Whaaat?

So now I have an extra set of tickets to unload, which I'm sure won't be too big of a problem - I have friends that are old and would actually appreciate them, not unlike my unappreciative, uneducated, uncultured 17 year old. *sigh*

I joke, he is a good kid, but his taste in music - not so much, but I'm sure my parents said the same thing about me and my dislike of Conway Twitty, Patsy Cline and Freddie Fender. Enough said...

28 August, 2009

Random Thoughts - Can You Relate?

I received this in an e-mail yesterday and thought it was quite entertaining. These are apparently random thoughts from 25-35 year olds, but I can certainly relate to most of them and I'm not in this age group...36 maybe.

My apologies if you’ve already received it, but unfortunately, I don’t have anything else entertaining to share today. Not that you may find this entertaining, but it is to me, so whatever...enjoy it (or not)...your choice.

PS - It's quite long...

  • Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
  • Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
  • I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
  • I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
  • Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the "people you may know" feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
  • There is a great need for sarcasm font.
  • I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
  • How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
  • I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
  • LOL has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
  • I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
  • Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
  • How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
  • I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent someone from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
  • Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
  • What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
  • While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
  • MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
  • I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
  • Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
  • I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
  • Bad decisions make good stories.
  • If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
  • Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
  • You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
  • Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
  • There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
  • I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
  • "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
  • I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?'
  • I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
  • I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
  • I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
  • As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
  • Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
  • I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
  • Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
  • My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?
  • It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
  • I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
  • I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
  • The other night I ordered takeout and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it and then estimated there must be a least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

27 August, 2009

Honestly, I'm Honored!

I wish to thank Jessi @ Jessi, Bob and The Monsters for this wonderful award. Please stop by Jessi's blog and read about her crazy life (staring BBB, many children, many animals) and her upcoming adventure to Djibouti. Thanks again Jessi!

The Rules

1. “The Honest Scrap” award is not one to hold all to your self but it must be shared!

2. The recipient has to tell 10 true things about themselves in their blog that no one else knows.

3. The recipient has to pass along this prestigious award to 10 more bloggers.

4. Those 10 bloggers all have to be notified they have been given this award.

5. Those 10 bloggers should link back to the blog that awarded them.

10 Things

There are a few people that probably already know some of these things, but they don’t read my blog, so I don't think I’m not breaking any rules.

  • I don’t like ice cream and rarely eat sweets or chocolate.
  • I get bored easily at work and need to be continuously challenged. I love change.
  • I live in Canada and despise cold weather, so I’m pretty miserable from November until March.
  • I’m a certified Rescue Diver and Divemaster.
  • I can’t stand the sound of someone clipping their fingernails or toenails. That is the most disgusting sound!
  • I was expelled from school for one day in Grade 7 because I was caught in a brawl with a boy. The boy was a bully and I was winning, so that should have counted for something, but it didn’t.
  • With the exception of corn, I won’t eat any cooked vegetables.
  • I was fortunate enough to have met Paul Newman, Joanne Woodward, Kevin Spacey, Eric McCormack and Sean Hayes when I worked for the Stratford Shakespeare Festival of Canada.
  • I don’t like other people’s feet touching my feet, so playing footsies is something I just can’t bring myself to do.
  • As a child, I wanted to live on Gilligan’s Island. Wait, I still do…

Please understand that I love every blog that I follow, but you see I think I’m being monitored by the internet Nazis and therefore don’t have the time while I’m here @ work to pass this award along to ten other bloggers, so if you feel you are worthy (which of course you are), grab it for yourself and if you do, please let me know so I can read about your dirty little secrets (whew, that was a long sentence).

26 August, 2009

I Want Wednesdays...

It's that time of week again - the time where I express my want-of-the-week. This week, I want tickets to see these guys...

Tickets go on sale on Saturday, so let's all hope I'm fast enough to snag myself some tickets.

Now, I'm off to purchase some additional hair spray and find some platform boots, so I can rock the look...

25 August, 2009

Heard it through the cube wall…

It constantly amazes me how corporations hire and retain morons, while letting good employees slip through their fingers. When I first started with this company, I thought “Wow, this place is fantastic and everyone really has their shit together. Finally, I’ve made the right move.” Soon however, just like a new penny, the shininess wears off, reality sets in and I’m left feeling tainted. *sigh*

I know I shouldn’t focus on the negative and should spend more time focusing on the positive, but with all of the morons surrounding me, it’s hard. Let me explain…

Our new payroll person started yesterday. Thank god, we might actually get paid next week. Oh wait, maybe not…here is a sampling of things that I’ve heard through my cube wall over the past two days. Some of the times, her words may have been spoken to me (over the cube wall), other times; I’m not sure who she was talking too.

“I can’t figure out how to lower my chair.”

Response from me: Nothing but silence. I think she’s talking to herself.

“I can’t figure out how to raise my keyboard.”

Response from me: Nothing but silence. I still think she’s talking to herself.

“Why is my monitor screen dark?”

Response from me: Silence

“Did you hear me?” I said, “Why is my monitor screen dark?”

Response from me: Did you check that your monitor is turned on?

Response from her: Yes, of course.

Response from me: Then I don’t know, call IT.

Response from IT (after a physical visit): Your monitor isn’t turned on.

“Why is my screen still dark?

Response from me: Intentional silence.

“Hello, girl over the wall. Did you hear me?”

Response from me: What? Are you talking to me?

Response from her: Never mind, I’ll call IT.

Response from IT (after a physical visit): Because you deal with sensitive information, your monitor has a privacy screen. It’s automatically a little darker.

“Do you know why I can’t enter any data on my keyboard?”

Response from me: Assuming you're talking to me, nope.

Response from her: Never mind, I’ll call IT.

Response from IT (after physical visit): Your number lock key is on.

Response from her: Hmmph. I’m not very good with these computers, so this is hard.

“I can’t find my glasses. I wonder where they are.”

Response from me: If your talking to me, I suggest you check on top of your head, as this is where I saw them last.

Response from her: Nothing but silence.

If this girl had been asking for directions to the coffee machine, photocopier or supply room, I would have been more helpful; however there are certain things in life that are self explanatory and if you haven’t figured them out by now, I certainly can’t help you.

24 August, 2009

Blinded by the Light...

Today’s rant is brought to you by the construction road crews that litter my commute routes.

Dear Pave-All Construction Company,

I cannot understand why road construction has started so late in the damn season. Yes, I said LATE in the season. In realize it’s only August, but keep in mind, we are from Canada and summer is short here, so the 3rd week in August is ridiculously late to be starting an entire road resurfacing project. Don’t you agree? What are you thinking?

Is there a particular reason why you have chosen this specific route for ripping up the pavement and causing a muddy mess? In my opinion, the road you have chosen does not need to be resurfaced. If you’re looking for work, I’d be happy to point you in the direction of at least 5 other roads on my commute route that are in need of new pavement, but the one you are resurfacing isn’t one of them. You see, I consider myself a bit of an expert in this particular route, as I drive it 5 days a week, 2 times a day for 50 weeks a year. If it needed to be replaced, I would be the first to let you know – trust me.

Can you clarify one thing for me? How many construction workers does it take to work the stop/slow signs? I’m just curious, because there seem to be at least six of you standing around holding the signs, but only two of you seem to know how to work them. Are the remaining four individuals “caution sign trainees” or are they part of the road crew marching band?

Lastly, I understand that the weather has been hot, but as I concerned citizen, I must request that for the safety of your road crew and the motoring public, could you possibly ask your road crew to pull up their pants? Please understand that too much butt crack exposure causes quiet a visual distraction, followed by momentary blindness and disgust. Honestly, this repetitive exposure may have already caused me irreparable harm and emotional pain and suffering.

Once again, I urge you reconsider wasting my tax dollars on roads that do not need to be fixed; however if you truly need a place to spend my money, my recommendation would be give it back to me, but if I’m not considered worthy enough, may I suggest the local food bank?

Yours truly,

Blinded by the Light
Ontario, Canada

21 August, 2009

Random Thoughts - Tacos and Bill...

  • I went to Jiffy Lube at lunch to have my oil changed. Jiffy Lube is meant to be one of those quick lube places, promising an oil change in 15 minutes or less. This was not to be the case today and after 20 minutes of waiting in line, I became distracted by the Taco Bell drive thru next door and left. Mmmm – Taco Bell.

  • Why do certain parents find it perfectly acceptable to allow their 5 and 6 year old children to behave like demons in public? There is nothing worse than witnessing a 6 year old boy whining like a 2 year old girl. I’d love to give them something to whine about – both the parents and children.

  • My son is about to start his final year of high school and the boy does not have a clue of what he is going to do with the rest of his life. In a mere 6 months, a decision should be made because he will need to start applying to colleges. It’s stressing me out just thinking about his lack of interest in the whole process.

  • The weather is supposed to be crappy and rainy again this weekend and we have Hurricane Bill to thank for this oncoming weather system. Seriously, can you get a dumber sounding name for a hurricane?

20 August, 2009

Pain in the...

I'm making my first attempt at scheduling a post, so if you are actually reading this, it means that I've succeeded. Yeah for me! It also means, that I'm not an idiot after all. O.K., well maybe I am, just not today.

Today, instead of blogging working, I will be enjoying a trip to the “ass doctor”. Note the sarcasm in my voice. There will in fact be no enjoyment to this trip.

Rest assured; it’s not me that’s going to be in the hot seat (no pun intended). Even I wouldn’t feel the need to share that with you - at least not until I’ve had a few drinks and have gotten to know you better.

No, I’m chauffeuring H and believe me after this little visit, “pain in the ass” will hold a whole new meaning - to both of us.

19 August, 2009

I Want Wednesdays...

This week, I just want one thing and it’s cheap…solitude.

Is that too much to ask for just one day?

"I love people. I love my family, my children…but inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that’s where you renew your springs that never dry up." Pearl S. Buck

18 August, 2009

Don't Mess With Texas - Yeah Right!

As, I am still awaiting a firm offer of employment from this opportunity, I will share with you another “bad-boss” story.

This one is about a guy named Jack. I fondly thought of him as Jack Ass. Jack was from Texas. As you know, everything is apparently bigger in Texas and therefore Jack was the grandest asshole of them all.

There are many things that made him an unacceptable boss - for example, this man believed it was perfectly acceptable to submit expense receipts for lap dances and when I questioned the validity of these as business expenses, I was told “not to worry my pretty little head about it” and just submit them as “entertainment expenses”. Yup, who knew?

My office was side-by-side with Jack’s and instead of simply walking to my office or picking up the phone and dialing my extension, he would yell down the office corridor. “GIRRRLLL! I say, I say, GIRRRLLL! Can you come in here a second?” Seriously, he sounded like Foghorn Leghorn with his Texas accent and the slight stutter.

The first dozen times this happened, thinking it must be extremely important, I would jump up, run in with pen in hand to see what the man could possibly need. Nope, he was simply too freakin lazy to get up from behind his king size desk and saunter 20 paces to my office and the thought of dialing my 3 digit extension number on the phone would have most certainly caused the man a coronary.

My reaction would soon change. When the bellowing would begin, I would close my eyes and begin some deep breathing exercises and would let him continue for a minute or two “GIRRRLLL! I say, I say, GIRRRLLL! Can you come in here a second? “GIRRRLLL! I say, I say, GIRRRLLL! Did you not hear me?”

When I couldn’t possibly take it any longer, I would take one final, long breath and would scream back at him, “WHAAAT! WHAAAT! WHAAAT! I SAY, I SAY, WHAT DO YOU WANT?” With the office suddenly silent, except for the sound of the blood pressure ringing in my ears and the sound of my co-workers ducking for cover, I could hear him shuffle out from behind his desk, appearing in my doorway. “Could you sharpen my pencil for me?” With my eyes locked on him, waiting for something else to spew from him bearded mouth, I bit my tongue and replied “Sure thing Jack”. What I actually wanted to say was, “Would you like me to stick up you’re a$$ for you as well?”

From that day forward, Jack did not bother to yell at me from his office, nor did he ask me to sharpen his pencil. I would like to believe that some form of respect was gained from him that day or maybe it was a healthy dose of fear.

17 August, 2009

Just Say "No"...

Upon reading a few blogs of late, I am noticing a pattern…we are slowly going crazy. I’m noticing that our lives are being driven by outside forces and the driver happens to be a blind-folded monkey, driving a stick shift.

Aren’t we supposed to be the masters of our own destiny? Yes we are, but too few of us have received this memo. At least, we should have received the memo, but truth be told, we probably deleted from our inbox without reading it - after all, we don’t have enough time to sort through all of the spam we are inundated by on a daily basis. Why isn’t there a spam filter on life?

Life “spam” is delivered in all forms and by all methods and media. Whether it be demands that are placed upon us by our job, our family, friends, our gender, the economy, our pets, the weather; we are all allowing ourselves to be manipulated to the point of self-implosion. Why?

Why aren’t we doing anything about it? Why do we continue to allow our lives to be driven by outside forces? Why are we afraid to admit to ourselves that we can’t do it all? We do we feel an overwhelming need to please everyone around us? How do we reverse the spiral?

Well, I believe the secret is held within one little word – No.

It’s a very effective, universal word and although, it may not be the answer everyone will want to hear and it fact, it may be met with some resistance, it’s the word that will eventually provide you with a sense of sanity and with it; you can stop the spiral and get a grip on reality with its use.

I would recommend that you expand upon “No” as required. For example:

“No thank-you”

“No, not at the moment”

“No, means No!”

“What part of No, did you not understand?”

“No can do”

“No way in hell”

Use often and repeat as needed.

But whatever you do, don’t use “No problem” or if you must, use it sparingly. Remember this is what started a lot of our problems in the first place.

“Saying no to loud people gives you the resources to say yes to important opportunities.” Seth Godin

14 August, 2009

What Are You Looking At?

Just a photo today...

This photo was taken of a friendly pelican on Bonaire in November, 2008. Bonaire just happens to be where I'll be headed again in a mere 2 months, 30 days and 5 hours, 20 minutes (not that I'm keeping track or anything) with 28 of my closest friends...

As with all my photos, this one is courtesy of J.

13 August, 2009

The Whole Truth?

I have a friend that unexpectedly lost her high-paying, high profile job in October, 2008. Given that she was the major bread winner in the family and he was self-employed with little to no income, friends and family were extremely concerned for their well-being and offers of financial assistance poured in. Soon afterwards, it was revealed that she and her husband had a mortgage in excess of $300,000 and she had credit card debt in excess on $60,000, plus loans for a car and motorcycle.

I realize that everyone gets in over their head from time to time, but would like to believe that most of us would see this unfortunate turn of events as a sign that perhaps we need to reevaluate our spending habits and maybe make cutbacks to our existing lifestyles – particularly in light of the economy.

Such has not been the case. She (not her husband) has taken no less than 5 vacations within the last 9 months and I’m not talking about mini-weekend getaways. I’m talking full-fledged Caribbean and Hawaiian vacations. When asked by her friends why she was still spending uncontrollably, her response was “Well, when I get a job, I might not be able to have vacations right away, so I’m taking advantage of it now.” The most disturbing part, she has another one planned in November, which happens to be the same one I’m going one.

I know you’re asking “so what”? Well, she hasn’t told her husband that she booked them on this trip (with a credit card she isn’t supposed to have). He has adamantly refused to partake in any other of the vacations she has gone on because he believes they should be saving their money. Duh! With that said, if she doesn’t tell him soon, all of us going on this trip, which happens to be 28 of their friends, will have to deal with the fallout and tension that this deceit is going to bring upon their relationship.

You would think the craziness would end there, but sadly, it doesn’t. My other friend is planning on stepping in to save the unemployed friend from having to tell her husband the truth, by weaving an even bigger web of lies on her behalf and is expecting the 28 of us to participate.

Here is her plan: she plans on telling the husband that all of his 28 friends have pitched in their frequent flyer miles to purchase their airline tickets and they also pitched in $50 each of pay for their accommodations and scuba diving. Believable?

In my opinion this is a recipe for disaster and so many things are bound to go horribly wrong. I have already expressed my concern with her elaborate scheme, as have a number of our friends, but to no avail.

What’s wrong with the truth? It’s like a ripping off a band-aid – it might hurt when you’re doing it, but the sooner you do it, the sooner the healing begins.

I need some new friends…the ones I have are defective and that’s the TRUTH.

12 August, 2009

I Want Wednesdays...

Citizen 20th Anniversary Aqualand Eco-Drive Edition Dive Watch/Dive Computer – This is my “ultimate dream” scuba toy. With the dive watch/dive computer combination, it is fun, functional and eco-friendly, as it never needs a battery - it runs on stored energy from any light source. It’s also water resistance to 660 ft! Not that I could possible survive at that depth; but it’s cool knowing it would. On second it probably wouldn’t last long, considering it’s dependent on a light source. Hmm…regardless of its flaws, I still want it.

Panini Press Gourmet Sandwich Maker - I love sandwiches and I especially love grilled sandwiches - grilled cheese, grilled ham and cheese, grilled turkey and swiss. Mmmmm... I have been asked for a Panini press as a Christmas, birthday, mother's day or even Valentine's Day present for two years now. Why isn't my husband listening to me? He likes sandwiches too, so I'm not sure what his problem is. Well, in all fairness to him, I may have banned household items as gifts after the ironing board and vacuum cleaner incidences of 2003, but come on now - if it's on a list, it's o.k., I promise.

Weight Loss - Now this wish, might have something to do with my love of sandwiches, but I have gained 4 lbs over the past 3 days! How is that possible? I am the heaviest I have EVER been! Typically, I'm not bothered by slight weight fluctuations, but this is beyond my level of comprehension.

I have been consistently running on the treadmill 4 nights a week, for at least half an hour each time and for the other 3 nights, I work out with weights. I'm in denial of the fact that muscle weighs more than fat, so don't even go there.

I do have a theory...my scales are digital and they are branded with a little "Weight Watchers" logo. Could this be a corporate conspiracy on behalf of WW? Could WW actually be ruthless enough to manufacture scales that automatically add a few pounds every few months, days, hours - depending on how often they are used? Of course they are! It's corporate greed that makes the world go round and what better way to drive additional members to join? Desperation works every time. Am I grasping? Perhaps, but it's the only explanation I possibly have.

I want to lose 20 lbs by Christmas and in order to do so, I'll continue to exercise, eat right and in the meantime, I'm kicking those WW scales to the curb and shutting WW big brother out of my bathroom.

11 August, 2009

Random Thoughts - Cake and Nerds...

  • I jumped in my car this morning and while I was saying goodbye to my husband, he noticed I had a partially flat tire. Quickly we switched vehicles, so he could take mine in to have the tire checked. I was thinking what a great husband I had, until he announced that his truck needed to be filled up and it would be great if I could get the oil changed for him on my lunch. $65 later, I was on way to work…ughh!

  • My co-worker on the other side of my cube wall has voluntarily left our company. Although her last day was only on Friday, I’m already missing commiserating with her. I suspect I will miss her more come payday, as she was our payroll coordinator and they haven’t found a replacement for her yet.

  • I arrived at work this morning to find a carrot cake sitting on my desk - not just one piece, but a whole cake! I have our receptionist to thank for that. I just happened to mention in passing yesterday, that I love carrot cake and viola – today I have cake. She is awesome!

  • I work for a software development company and the majority of my co-workers are socially awkward nerds. Just passing them in the hallway, making eye contact and saying “hello” sends them into a frenzy. They don’t know how to react and a simple “hello” makes them stutter and stumble. Is it wrong that I love to torment them and find pleasure in the obvious discomfort that “hello” brings to them? Imagine the damage “How are you?” would do.