Horsing Around

As mentioned in yesterday’s blog, I commute 180 km/112 miles round-trip per day and this time is usually spent with a minimal amount of any excitement. Well today’s commute started out like any another – coffee in my travel mug, tunes on the radio, sunglasses on and away I go. All was going as it usually does, that is with the exception of the Clydesdale grazing along side the road. Shoot!

In my many years of travel, I have rescued numerous horses, cattle and even pigs from what would be their certain collision with the grill of a passing motor vehicle. Each time I see an escapee, my immediate thought is “don’t stop, they’ll be fine, just don’t think about it and don’t look back”, but before I know what’s happening, my moral compass has taken over and I’m stomping on the brakes, careening to the side of the road and assessing the situation.

I’ve learned that horses are typically the easiest to manage (typically is the key word), cattle on the other hand are totally unpredictable – perhaps it’s their undomesticated nature and pigs – let’s just say I won’t stop for pigs again (unless they are actually in the form of a package of bacon).

This morning was not meant to be the day for an easy rescue and I regret stopping almost immediately. I proceed to the house to advise the occupants that their horse had escaped. I’m met by a woman in her pajamas who simply stares at me blankly and responds “oh, it’s just one of the ponies”. I respond with “Ummm, no – this thing is WAY bigger than a pony”.

Long story short, the woman was not very bright (not to be mean), but she did not own a bridle for Zeus (that’s the Clydesdale’s name). A bridle would have made the procedure a lot more affective; you know - as something to lead him along with, nor did she have any oats. Oats to horses is like cat nip to cats - they can’t resist the stuff. Instead of oats, she thought Cheerios might entice him along. What was she thinking? Breakfast cereal for a horse – seriously!

After a half hour of pushing and pulling on a Zeus’ immovable mane, neck and ass, without any help from the woman, I simply gave up. I politely told her that I needed to get to work and that perhaps she should consider calling someone else – like an animal rescue shelter because the horse was in serious need of being rescued from her stupidity. O.K., I really didn’t say that to her face, well at least not the part about her stupidity. Tonight’s ride home should be interesting - I suspect she will be where I left her - staring blankly at Zeus, trying to feed him Cheerios.


Anonymous said…
Feeding Cheerios to a horse? LOL!

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