Open Letters...

First, I wish to say “Happy Thanksgiving” to all my American friends. I know I had my Turkey Day in October, but let’s be honest – that was a century ago.

I’m a little behind on my letter writing, so here goes...

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed here are my own.

Dear Lunch Room Guy,

Wearing your sunglasses in the office makes you look like a dork, but I’m sure you already knew that. Oh and just to clarify, wearing those damn Crocs and the fanny pack doesn’t help your appearance either.

Best Wishes,



Dear Lazy-Ass Engineer,

Stop complaining that the photocopier is out of paper and do something about it already. It’s not my problem, but you are.

P.S. In case you didn't already know, I wish to point out that you are a whiney-ass troll.

Yours truly,



Dear Mall Santa,

I would like to know how you got that job. You are creepy and so are your elves. Can you please advise where you found them, as I might be interested in renting them out on Halloween next year?

Kindest Regards,



Dear Facebook,

WTH is with all the crap you insist on making available to my shallow minded friends. Farmville and Mafia Wars? What’s next? May I suggest midget bowling?




To My Loving Husband,

You can stop talking about your lovely iPhone anytime now. I get it – you LOVE it and my phone sucks.

Hugs and Kisses,

Your Loving Wife


To My Sweetest Son,

Can you please dump your girlfriend? She is obviously sucking the life out of you and your drama is sucking the life out of me.




Dear VP of Manufacturing,

Please don’t take this the wrong way, but you stink! There is no reason for that smell. The remedy is called deodorant. May I suggest you use it?

P.S. Using it daily works best.

Your Pal,



Brian Miller said…
gotta love non deoderant wearing people...they let you know just what they need for christmas! smiles.

thanks for the thanksgiving wishes...yeah you already had yours and all but still thankful for your words and comments. smiles.
otin said…
LOL! Mall Santas usually look like ex cons!

WTF is the attraction to facebook?

I am sure that there is a lot more drama to come, with your son and his girlfriends!
Gavin said… I'm not the only one who things Mall Santas are creepy people. I never got what was so "great" about FB either. Like the idea behind the site is a good one like keeping in touch with people that don't necessarily live close or whatever but...all that other crap is lame. XD
Sylvia said…
You have very brilliant ideas! This Post is excellent (well, as usual!)
Too funny. Boy, everyone got whipped into shape in 1 blog. I too celebrated "turkey day" in October...but cheers to our US friends.
Joshua said…
And a Happy Regular Thursday to you. I hope it was very regular. Or spectacular, really. As long as it didn't suck. TWHS. Sorry.


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