My Life as the Grim Reaper...
Sadly, I have become aware of a rise in incidents of suicide. Perhaps it is because of the economy, massive job losses, rising cost of gasoline, high divorce rate or the unbearable grief from the death of MJ. What drives someone to become so distraught, they believe the only way out is death? Do they not stop to think of the ones left behind?
Regardless of their reason, my car has become a vessel of death to for rodents and birds alike and I have become the Grim Reaper. At least once a week I am left feeling like a murderess bitch because some little critter decided enough was enough.
Believe me - I do try to spare them their lives. I swerve, I slam on my brakes – all while closing my eyes and bracing for the inevitable “th-thump” under my tires which happens when Chip or Dale are just too slow in their dash to greener pastures or when a feathered friend decides to kamikaze into my grill.
Today was no exception; I was driving along on my morning commute simply minding my own business and out of nowhere, flies this suicidal black bird and with one fell swoop he has ended it all - a simply “whack”, his life was over. *sigh*
As this is a frequent occurrence, I typically take a quick glance at the grill of my car when I arrive at work to make sure there aren’t any leftovers from the carnage; however today I was running late and did not give it the once over before I headed into the building. It wasn’t until I was returning to my car after making a stop at the bank on my lunch hour, I notice a man is standing in front of my car and says “Hey lady, did you know you have a bird stuck in your grill? Do you want me to take it out for you?”
Hmm, as tempting as having a perfect stranger remove road kill from my grill sounded, I simply smiled, walked around my car, reached down and plucked the blackbird by its tail feathers and nonchalantly dropped it to the ground. “No thanks. I got it. Being the Grim Reaper comes with its own set of burdens”, I replied to the stranger as I got into my car and drove away.