Expectations are imposed upon us at an early age and then reinforced throughout life, although I’ve learned that my expectations of myself and what is expected of me by others usually vary.

“Reexamine all that you have been told in school, or in church or in any book. Dismiss whatever insults your soul.” Walt Whitman

As a young girl, you are expected to act like a lady, listen to your parents, keep your room clean and get good grades. As you proceed through adolescence, the expectations shift only slightly – you are still expected to act like a lady, don’t disappoint your parents, keep your room clean, get goods grades, start thinking about a career and find a nice boy to take care of you in case all else fails. This pattern continues throughout adulthood. Now more than ever, you need to act like a lady, be on your best behavior at all times, refrain from speaking your mind, keep your house clean, look after your family (that is assuming you have found a nice boy to take care of you), exercise, network, etc. etc.

When you start looking for that nice boy, may I suggest you use a magnifying glass? This tool will assist you in finding any flaws in the merchandise. Keep in mind, this man will become and investment and you want to 100% sure that you are investing your time and energy into something that will show a return on your efforts. The “buy low, sell high” financial advice isn’t necessarily the best advice to follow in this type of scenario. If you choose to buy low, it is highly unlikely your investment will pay off. If you buy high, you will most likely find that you will have reached the pinnacle early and your returns will also be capped out early. It’s better to settle somewhere in the middle – somewhere where there is room for growth, but also room for decline before you have hit rock bottom.

“Treat a man as he is, he will remain so. Treat a man the way he can be and ought to be, and he will become as he can be and should be." Goethe

There will come a point in all relationships that you will look at your mate and think “What the hell happened?” or “Who is this person? I’m pretty sure I feel in love with him a one time. Where did that feeling go?”

When these feelings strike, you need to take a step back and assess the entire situation. Be sure to ask yourself – Are you the same person he fell in love with? Do you take as much time with your appearance as you once did? When was the last time you purchased sexy underwear? Am I just expecting too much or should I be expecting a little more?

Relationships are a lot like your job – it’s easier just to show up and expect to collect your paycheck, but if you expect to make employee of the month, you have to put some effort forth and kiss a little butt along the way.

We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aid, but by an infinite expectation of the dawn.” Henry David Thoreau


Brian Miller said…
wow. this is the most amazing piece i have read today. you put so much into this post that is true and meningful in all realtionships...romantic, work...otherwise. very thought provoking...
Such sage advice. Expectations of others can gnaw away at your soul, and prevent you from really knowing yourself.
Wish I had had Walt Whitman's words at my disposal when I was struggling with expectations imposed by anal retentive old men in the church to which my parents belonged. Warped my young life, sucked up my energy, and was very hard to wrestle myself free.
Thank you for such a great post!!
Great post! It's totally the truth!
K13 said…
good post. I hope Goethe is right though.
JW.BW said…
Great post!! My marriage is the most rewarding and challenging part of my life. Whenever I am having an issue with my husband I just think that great Marine Corps Gunny Seargent quote "IS that really the hill you wanna die on?" in other words, I try and pick my battles, but I dont always succeed. And I do think the most important thing you can do for eachother is take care of yourself and besure not to land at the bottom of the slippery slope of weight gain, this def goes for men too!!!

Thanks again for the great post!!
Theresa said…
Very nice post. Kudos!
Sylvia said…
Great post! I liked the economic theory of marriage - investment, profit.

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