Cabernet...A Public Service Announcement...


Do you have feelings of inadequacy? 

Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Cabernet Sauvignon.
   
Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.
   
You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon almost immediately and, with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.  Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.  Stop hiding and start living.

Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:   dizziness, nausea, vomiting,  incarceration, loss of motor control, loss of clothing,     loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.
   
WARNINGS:
  • The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
  • The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
  • The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to think you can sing.
  • The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you can converse enthusiastically with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
  • The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
    
Please feel free to share this important information with as many women as you feel may benefit!  Now just imagine what you could achieve with a good Shiraz..............

Comments

K13 said…
Hilarious!!! Did you write that up yourself or find it somewhere? It's great!!
@K13 - No, I'm not that witty (unless of course I've had some Cabernet). A friend sent to me in an e-mail.
R. Jacob said…
I find many cold beers do the same thing for me and it is easier spell and say after consumption!
Simply Suthern said…
Very funny.

Prety much nailed it except it left out the red wine stains.
VandyJ said…
I often use a controlled application of Cabernet but prefer Merlot ot a good Zinfindel.
Brian Miller said…
haha. as with most medications...the side affect dont look too bad...lol
Rebecca S. said…
I like the part about discovering talents you never knew you had. Funny!
Sarah said…
Too funny! Or in my case, it might be Pinot Noir or Chardonnay. I don't do red but I do like the white! And I would have to say it definitely can do all of those things!
Jingle said…
neat!
lovely post!
CrazyCris said…
Funny!

But I actually avoid cabernet sauvignon in my wine! I prefer merlot if non-European, but mostly grenache and tempranillo (european, typical from the Spanish Rioja region).

It took me the longest time to figrue out how to choose a new bottle of wine I might like... and then I started noticing the names of the grapes used on the back labels! Now I am rarely displeased... :o)
Jessi J. Walton said…
Sign me up!!! id even just take the side effects at this point. how sad is that...
Brenda said…
I'm a wine drinker so I love this!!! I might have to share it on my blog soon.
Jacqui said…
I tried this last night - and it works! Great!

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