Warning: The Following May Be Disturbing to Some Readers...And Hilarious To Others...

I’m trying to get back into the swing of blogging on a more frequent basis.  The Internet Nazis have Blogger, Facebook and all other remotely entertaining websites blocked from my mouse clicks and view – including The Weather Network I might add.  Not that The Weather Network is entertaining, but I do consider it a bit of a necessity and regardless of my needs, it’s a blocked site too.  So, as I have ideas (not often), I’m taking the time out of my busy schedule trying not to dislike my co-workers to prepare posts, with a view to posting them at a later time or date.
 
Anyhow, as I was sitting in my office (waiting for the clock to strike 5:00), I remembered a story I needed to share with you.  It involves The Boy’s new(ish) cat.  The cat’s actual name is Apollo (not our choice) – we prefer to call him Cat, Cringer, The Doctor or Bob .  Actually, we call him anything that comes to mind at the moment.  Now don’t worry, he doesn’t come to any of them, so we aren’t really confusing him any more than he already is.  He’s not the smartest cat I’ve seen – he tends to run into walls, falls off things easily and paws at the air for no apparent reason.   Nonetheless, he entertains us.
 
So imagine my dismay when we are in holidays in route to the airport in Hawaii and we receive a text from The Boy, which goes as follows:
 
The Boy:   It’s a good thing you guys are coming home today.
 
Me:        Why?  Do you miss us?
 
The Boy:  Ummm no.  Not really.  Well, yes. I guess.  Anyhow, there is something seriously wrong with my cat.  I think we are going to have to take him to the vet.
 
Me:  Okay.  What’s wrong?  Did he eat something he shouldn’t have?
 
The Boy:  I don’t think so.  He’s just acting really weird and he’s hasn’t moved in like 20 minutes.  He just lying under my desk stiff legged.
 
Me:  Is he breathing?
 
The Boy:  Yeah.  I checked.
 
Me:  Well, I can’t do anything from here.  Just keep an eye on him and if you think something is seriously wrong, you’ll have to take him to the vet yourself.
 
The Boy:  Okay.  I’ll watch him.
 
 
All I can think to myself is that the cat likely got into something he shouldn’t have or The Boy fed him too many Cheerios.
 
As we are nearing our exit on the highway, I receive another text from The Boy which goes:
 
The Boy:  I think I figured out what’s wrong with my cat.  About an hour ago he was under my desk playing and all of a sudden I heard him howl really loud and then he bounced across the room, hit the wall and immediately went stiff legged and started twitching.  Turns out – he must have electrocuted himself because my lamp cord under the desk has been entirely chewed through.
 
Well, it was at this point – we missed our exit to the airport because I was in fits of laughter and couldn’t tell J where he needed to go.  We actually missed the next two exits because I was still laughing so hard with the imagery of cat, bouncing across the wall like a ping pong ball.
 
Now before you call PETA on me, let me say…other than his unquenchable thirst for the next 3 days and his impulsive licking of his shoulder, the cat is fine.  The lamp on the other hand was a total write off.

 

Comments

Brian Miller said…
holy cow...or cat...how many lives did that burn up...
CrazyCris said…
now I'm laughing so hard I'm going to fall off my chair!

I've missed your posts and your visits to my blog... damn those internet Nazis!

I look forward to your reappearance in the blogosphere! :o)
Joshua said…
My cat has chewed through two cable. The first: I was using headphones to play a rather violent video game so The Wife wouldn't have to hear gunshots and shouting. Suddenly...silence. The cat had chewed through my $40 headphone cable. Nice, right? The second: Thankfully it wasn't plugged in. Unfortunately, it was the cord for the $400 stationary exercise bike.
R. Jacob said…
I think that when they do that they don't do it again!
Stay, lay down, good kitty!
LMAO! I almost cried from how hard I laughed! I had tears! That is hilarious! Glad to see you enjoyed your vacation and glad to have you back!
Rebecca S. said…
Thanks for the chuckle! That's a great cat tale.
*krystyn* said…
OK - well you know I'm a catlover - have 2 of my own- but I still found this absolutely hilarious...like almost peed my pants laughing. Ethan was in the same room and kept asking me what was so funny!! ha!!

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