Goose Rage...

Well as you can imagine, being from Canada – I have more than my fair share of experiences with Canada Geese. Most of them, not pleasant.

Canada Geese are somehow a symbol for Canada. A symbol for what, I’m not sure. They are an obnoxious bird, they honk, hiss and leave piles of unpleasantness everywhere. They are also mean-spirited and will attack you if you get to close to their babies. Hmmm, is that what Canadians are like? Perhaps.

Anyhow, with Spring in full swing, the geese are everywhere and so are their goslings (no, not Ryan). As a courtesy, cars will typically stop (even on busy streets) in order for the geese and their babies to cross the road. I don’t like the birds, but I’m not a cold blooded killer either.

So, this morning I was almost to work and when I spot momma goose with her brood at the side of the road looking for an opening in traffic. I slow my car to allow her and her seven babies to begin their trek across the four land road. By this time, traffic in both directions in all four lanes had stopped, as they could obviously see the goose procession was in full swing.

As I’m patiently waiting, this stupid woman in her car behind me is clearly agitated and decides that she was going to drive off the road to the right to go around me. At this point, I see another family of geese come out of the long grass and they are also making a mad dash to catch up with the first family. The woman behind me still believes I’m stopped for no apparent reason tries to pull her car by me to the right – this point she is almost in the ditch and was close to a full-fledged goose massacre. Being the grumpy mess I typically am on a Monday, I was having none of this bullshit, so I pull my car right in front of her, blocking her pass. By this time, I’m almost in the ditch as well and I’m pissed at her arrogance and impatience.

With both geese families safely across the road, the traffic begins to move. At this point, this woman decides to swing out and pass me on the left, I hang back waiting for her to get up beside me because she was going to get the “double barrel royal salute”, BUT she would not move up alongside me and when we had to stop at the next set of lights, she would not pull up beside me either. Talk about gutless. I hope a flock of geese shits on her car – now that would be karma at its finest.


Oh that's hilarious! I hate it when they have ovaries to pull that shit but then won't face you!

By the way I hate those damn geese too. Every fall without fail, they wake me at 5am (if I'm lucky, 4am unlucky) with their honking but like you I can't bring myself to commit mass geese murder.
Sarah said…
Lol. Sorry that you had to deal with the rudeness, but glad you saved the geese! Your stories are always entertaining. :)
Simply Suthern said…
I freaking hate those geese. They are in parking lots everywhere here. Our weather is fairly mild so the dont migrate away.

I heard they either crap evey eight minute or 8 times and hour. Either way its a lot and they prefer to do it beside the driver door on my car.

We had one at work that would fly beside your car and whack the roof with its wing because momma goose had a nest nearby.
Brian Miller said…
haha...i hope they shit all over her car too...what a crazy lady!!
Maalai said…
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CrazyCris said…
No problems like those around here... would be almost worth it if it meant we had more wildlife around... :s

And that driver sounds like an a$$!

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