Well, The Boy is home from school for the summer…or perhaps longer and with that, my peace-keeping skills are already getting a workout.
I’ve always been the middle-man in my household – the “go to” person.
If J wants to relay something to The Boy, he tells me. If The Boy wants his dad to know something, he tells me. It’s not like they don’t speak to each – they do. The typically get along without incident. They both have their opinions and usually respect what each other has to say. Usually…
The Boy has not done fabulously at college this year. I honestly believe, it’s not for lack of trying, he tried, but he just wasn’t interested in what program he chose. I understand that it’s hard to choose a program and a career based strictly on a college catalogue.
How can you possibly know what you want from life, if you haven’t experienced anything? I understand this. The Boy is so much like me, it’s terrifying.
Problem One – The Boy is confused. He doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life, but he knows it’s not the course he was taking. I understand this, but J does not.
Problem Two – The Boy is a dreamer. J is a facts and figures kind of person and needs a “plan” at all times. I’m somewhere in the middle – I love to dream, but make a plan to get there and if things don’t go according to plan, I readjust and carry on.
Problem Three - The Boy understands that not getting a college education isn’t an option – neither is living in my basement when he’s 30. He wants an education, he just doesn’t know what it will be or what in life will make him happy. J can’t grasp the concept that not everyone knows what they want from life (at age 18) or how to get it.
Problem Four – J looks at the past year as being a “waste of time and money”. I somewhat understand the money thing, but I understand The Boy’s point of view too – “that being away from home has made him appreciate different cultures, different views, different people, where he’s from and where he doesn’t want to be”. What J needs to realize that The Boy is the one working to repay his student loans, so instead of looking at it as a “waste of money”, he needs to look at it like an expensive life lesson.
I have no doubt, The Boy will be successful in life. He’s passionate and driven, but he just hasn’t found out what makes him passionate enough and driven enough to follow his dream.
Once again, I’m the middle man – constantly needing to find common ground while keeping both sides happy and on speaking terms with each other. I’m exhausted and it’s only been three days…
Any recommendations? I’ve considered running away from home, but I’m sure they will find me.