Kid's Say The Darndest Things...

I should of saved this for “World’s Ocean Day”, but let’s be honest, I would have forgotten about it by then.   As with a lot of things, I received this in an email from a fellow scuba diver and just had to share.  It's a collection of children writing about the ocean.
This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles.   (Kelly, age 6)     
Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)                   
If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island.  If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent.   (Sam, age 7) 
Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson.  She's not my  friend any more.   
(Kylie, age 6)                                                                           
A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head. 
(Billy, age 8)                                        

My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs.  (Millie, age 6)                             

When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come.  My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)                                         

Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant?   Like, really?   (Helen, age 6)                                          
I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)                  
Some fish are dangerous.  Jellyfish can sting.  Electric eels can give you a shock.  They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers.  (Christopher, age 7)                                                    

When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold and it makes my willy small.  (Kevin, age 6)                                          

Divers have to be safe when they go under the water.  Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.  (Becky, age 8)  
On vacation my Mom went water skiing.  She fell off when she was going very fast.  She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass.  (Julie, age 7)                               
The ocean is made up of water and fish.  Why the fish don't drown I don't know.  (Bobby, age 6)                                           
My dad was a sailor on the ocean He knows all about the ocean.   What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom.   (James, age 7)                                                           

If you didn't chuckle at one of these, you need to find your sense of humor.


Brian Miller said… this...did poetry with kids today...

"did you ever see a deer,
with a beer?"

yep, can tell you a lot about that
Anonymous said…
Awesome. "Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other."

That about says it all.
Simply Suthern said…
These are great, Kids are hilarious.
JennAventures said…
oh this made my morning.
Sarah said…
Those are too cute! I am glad I appreciate them - it means I must have a sense of humor! I would try to pick a favorite but they all crack me up!

Happy Friday!
Love these! Hilarious! I especially like the one where the little boy rationalized how electric eels shock you :D

Kids amaze me every time!
CrazyCris said…
am giggling myself off my chair! those would have indeed been perfect for WOD, specially considering this year's theme is geared towards youth!

good way to start a weekend... with laughs! :D
Raven said…
Those are all absolutely priceless!!

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