31 August, 2010

Professional Babysitter Extraordinaire...

I am once again baffled by the management of the company I work for. I’m even more baffled why those in certain management roles in the company continue to get promoted, are given bonuses, raises, etc. 

Without going into great detail, I’ll try to summarize the latest round of moronic moves made by management, including my boss. We have a sales operations team in place; that are supposed to be responsible for reviewing and processing incoming purchase orders. Part of the review process is to confirm whether or not we have negotiated terms and conditions in place and if we do, the sales operations team is to confirm that this is referenced on the incoming purchase orders. If the negotiated terms are not referenced, our policy states that we are to reject the purchase order until it is corrected. Easy enough right? 

Somewhere along the line, the sales operations team decided to ignore this company policy and have been accepting all purchase orders – regardless of what terms and conditions may apply. It may seem harmless enough, but in the event of a law suit and as a publicly traded company, we could suffer great damage. 

Here’s the rub… Instead of reprimanding those that haven’t been doing their job properly (because we know that would be too easy), I have been appointed “babysitter to the sales ops team”. Hooray for me! I was actually told “I’m, afraid the sales ops team just aren’t smart enough to “get it”, so you’ll now be helping them out”. WTF? 

So, I am now responsible for reviewing all incoming purchase orders to ensure policy compliance and then I get to prepare the necessary acceptance or rejection letters for them so that they can send them out to the customers because they aren’t smart enough to do that either. 

On the upside, at least I’ll be busier since we receive an average of 50 plus purchase orders per week. 

The pattern continues....You may recall this post - where was asked by my boss to assist the HR Director with the preparation of sales compensation letters because (and I quote) “You are the only one out there smart enough to figure it out and get it right.” What is wrong with this place?

I’m so happy to see that idiots are still promoted and rewarded at mind-blowing speeds around this place, while those that do their jobs are left to wonder what the hell they did to get screwed over…again. 

Did I mention no one is being reprimanded for blatantly ignoring company policy? I bet those individuals are also up for raises and promotions too. That's it for now, I'm off to update my resume and change the title on my business cards to "Professional Babysitter.

29 August, 2010

Sniff...Sniff...Tear...

J and I have just finished dropping our Baby Boy off at college.  

He was super excited and couldn't wait for us to leave.  I know he'll be fine.  He's like J and I -  adventurous and adaptable.  

I'm super excited for him, but rest assured that I will shed a tear or two when no one is around to witness it.  So until then I need to hold it together.  Anyone got duct tape?

27 August, 2010

Google Boredom....It'll Entertain You...

My Horoscope for Today...
The Moon in your sign gives you an edge, even when dealing with a cold, difficult person. You could be uncomfortable with what is coming up at the workplace. You cannot count on someone like you have in the past. 

My Response:  I deal with cold, difficult people everyday.  They can go @#$% themselves today, just like they did yesterday. 

Boredom

I've been bored out of my tree this week, so much so that I Googled "boredom".  Here are some of the things I've found:


Gotta cat?  This one I have to try...


I always suspected Barney was a perv...

See - I told you I was bored.  

Anyhow...On Sunday, we're off to drop The Boy off at college. By Sunday night, I'll be a slobbering, weeping moron.  Wish me luck.

Have a great weekend everyone!

25 August, 2010

Guess What?

Four months from today will be Christmas.  You can thank me now for ruining your day...

Can you tell I'm bored?  Your welcome...

24 August, 2010

Open Letters....


To My Loving Husband,
I am trying to say this in the kindest possible way, so please understand that I’m not trying to be harsh, but it just needs to be said – “Your effin aquarium hobby is expensive when the fish keep dying.   Perhaps next time, we should just flush a 100 dollar bill down the toilet because it’s the same damn thing, EXCEPT I won’t have to go to the fish store with you! “
Love,
Your Supportive Wife

 To The City Planning Department,
Let me commend you on your outstanding work.  I can’t believe you have decided to install a roundabout as the only entrance/exit to the new Wal-Mart Superstore.   Obviously, you have never actually driven through a roundabout, nor have you shopped at Wal-Mart on a Saturday during the holiday season.  You might as well resign now because once the store opens and the accident lawsuits begin, you will become the scapegoats for poor planning.  
Thank goodness I only work in this town and do not live here.  This is a boondoggle waiting to happen.  Idiots.
Regards,
A Concerned Citizen

To My Sister-In-Law,
Planning a surprise birthday party for your husband is a fantastic idea; however having it in September when his actual birthday is in January seems a bit too…hmmm, how can I say this?  Stupid.  Yes, stupid.  Oh, and lazy too.  I realize you want it to be a surprise, but isn’t there another day closer to his actual birthday that will work?  It’s called planning and creativity.  Get off your ass and try it some time.  
Hugs,
S

To My Boss,
In case you haven’t noticed, the tasks you give me are tedious.  Stop calling them “projects”.   You aren’t fooling anyone - they aren’t “projects”.  They are shit jobs that you don’t want to do yourself or don’t know how to.
Thanks,
S

Dearest Son,
I love you dearly and please understand that I only want what’s best for you and your girlfriend isn’t it.  She’s sucking the life out of you, which is sucking the life out of me.  Your 18 and I’m not.  I can’t stand the drama and am not equipped for it.  May I suggest you cut your losses and move on?
Love,
Mom

19 August, 2010

Wanting Perfection + Airlines = Stress


I don’t typically get stressed.  I typically get frustrated, then vent, then move on.  Life’s too short to stress the small stuff and at the end of the day, it’s all small stuff in the grand scheme of things.


Why am I all of a sudden feeling stressed?  Who the hells knows?  I do know instead of the usual routine, I’m stressing about stupid stuff these days…

So, why am I stressed?  I’m stressed because our trip to Borneo is coming up in May and the airfare has skyrocketed from $1700 pp to $6,500 pp.  WTF???    I know there is plenty of time before I need to book it and the prices will likely come down, but what if they don’t?   We have been planning and saving for this trip for 3 years.  It’s frustrating to know that what was meant to be a “trip of a lifetime”, might turn into a trip that we’ll have to “settle” on.   

What does “settle” mean?  It means that instead of trekking in Borneo, we might end up trekking in Peru to Machu Picchu.  Stupid right?  Yes, it is.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m grateful to have the opportunity to travel at all and I don’t mean to sound like a spoiled, whiny brat but when something like this happens, it pisses me off.   It’s something that we’ve worked hard for and now, it might not happen. 

Vent over…

Moving on….

18 August, 2010

When I Was a Kid...


A friend sent this to me via e-mail.  It's so great, I had to share...
When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill...Barefoot... BOTH ways… yadda, yadda, yadda





And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!





But now that I'm over the ripe old age of Forty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia!  





And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!





I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!





There was no email! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!





Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!





There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!





Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?





We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!





There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends"! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.





And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent... you just didn't know! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!





We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like'Space Invaders' and Asteroids'. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen... Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!





You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel! NO REMOTES! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!





There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-finks!





And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!





And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!





And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!





See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980 or any time before!





Regards,

The Over 40 Crowd

17 August, 2010

National Geographic - Photo of the Month

This stunning photo is the "Photo of the Month" from National Geographic.  Can you say awe inspiring?

Ocean Wave, Kauai

16 August, 2010

Sshhhhh...

Don't tell my co-workers because they will tattle on me, but I'm taking a "sick" day today.  I'm not actually sick, I just need to get a bunch of stuff done in my life today (dentist, back to school shopping with The Boy, cleaning my bathrooms, getting groceries, etc.) and I'll be damned if I'm going to waste a vacation day on that crap and forget about the weekends - I'm too busy doing fun stuff to worry about the toilets.

So, on the back to school shopping thing - how old do your children have to be before you stop buying their "back to school" stuff.   I know The Boy is technically a "man".  (I couldn't even keep a straight face typing that one...LOL! ) Regardless of his age, I feel I should be at least providing the necessities (and a new toothbrush) for him before I send if off into the world.  God knows, today's underwear and sock purchases will probably have to last him awhile.   

Now don't get me wrong, I certainly don't intend to be buying The Boy's undies for the rest of his life, I just think as a mom, it's my duty to provide him with his "needs" for a few more years.  I'm paying for his college education, so what's a few more bucks in the grand scheme of things - right?  

Besides as a mom, the last thing we want is for our children to be caught wearing worn undies.  I'd rather he be caught wearing nothing at all - which if the saying is true "the apple doesn't fall far from the tree", will happen at some point in this life...
 


12 August, 2010

Pimping This Won't Be Easy...


I’ve mentioned it time and time again that my current job is not fulfilling.  My job makes a monkey driving a stick shift look intelligent.   
I’ve known for a while that it’s time to move on, but I’ve seriously hoped things would have improved, but sadly they have not. 
I’m experiencing an overwhelming feeling of guilt because I’m considering leaving.  Not so much because I want to leave this job, I’m feeling guilty because I can’t seem to find a job that’s a right fit for me.   I tend to switch jobs often - 2-3 years on average. 
The only reason I’ve stuck this one out as long as I have is because I didn’t want it to look bad on my resume and don’t care to have another conversation that leads with “Your resume looks fantastic, but you don’t seem to stay in one place very long.”  I don’t care anymore.  I need out.
I can’t wait any longer on my friend that’s been wanting me to join his legal department – it’s been over 3 years and all I keep hearing is “soon”.   I’m concerned that if it’s taken this long – what’s that company like to actually work for? 
Today, he asked for an updated resume and then wanted to know if I actually had my law clerk designation.  WTF?  I’ve only been working for high profile companies for over 15 years now – even if I didn’t have my designation, one would think that my experience would speak for itself and should be enough for him.  I DO have the designation he is looking for, but he just wanted to be sure because apparently, it’s all about designations within his company.   That type of arrogance bugs me and always has – there are plenty of intelligent people out there that have gotten to where they are in a company simply from experience, not a diploma.   I don’t care if I would have an office, I’m done with him.
So, with that rant over.  I’ve just finished updating and posting my resume to a bunch of different job sites.  Now I wait and prepare myself for the eventual conversation of why I’ve job hopped so much.   

I’m thinking my response will be:  “I’m a gypsy at heart and besides - I tire easily of working with assholes and I'm tired of you asking that stupid effin question.”

11 August, 2010

Oh Crap...

When I read things like this first thing in the morning, I wonder why I bothered to get out of bed...

ARIES (March 21 to April 19): Unexpected events will change your job routine today. Staff shortages, computer crashes, power outages and cancellations could make things go south in a New York minute.

09 August, 2010

I Don't Want to Talk About It, BUT If You Want to Know....


I’m feeling out of sorts today.  I’m not quite to the point of cranky (yet), but I’m not feeling overjoyed to be at work.   I know that it being Monday is the probable excuse; however I’m not 100% convinced that the only issue.

I’m starting to have a bit of anxiety that it’s now August and the mornings aren’t quiet as bright as they were a couple of weeks ago.  It’s also starting to get dark sooner in the evening, my perennial garden has been in full bloom and things are starting to die off.  My tomatoes are ready to be picked.  I’m sad.  Why?  Well it means that fall is just around the corner.  Don’t get me wrong, I love the autumn season.  I just hate what comes after it.  Winter…she’s just a mean, hurtful bitch.
It's official - NOW, I'm cranky... thanks Mother Nature....



06 August, 2010

Drum Roll Please....


I’m happy it’s Friday!!!   What more is there to say? Well, lots:
  • My boss is away today and while that makes me happy, this is usually the time the undesirables come out and try to get me to fast track their contract reviews.  Do they really think I plan on working today?  Stupid, misguided people…
  • Tonight’s lotto here in Canada (Lotto Max) is estimated to be approximately $50 million, plus an additional thirty-two $1 million dollar bonus draws.  I could do so much good or evil (depending on my mood) with that kind of cash…
  • The dipstick HR cube-dweller is on holidays today, so I can rest easy that I won’t have to listen to her talking with her mouth full of granola.   She’s 42 – one would think she’d have learned some manners by now, but apparently it’s “cool to drool” where she comes from.
  • My company handed out “profit sharing” bonuses last week and while I’m thankful for this, by the time the tax man got done with it, there was barely enough left to buy lunch….at McDonald’s. *sigh*
  • Only 3 weeks left until my baby boy heads off to college.  Eeek!  Tomorrow, we will be shopping for “stuff” for his dorm room.
  • Speaking of The Boy, he’s been busy working on a nursery farm for the summer.  If manual labor is not enough to make him understand the value of an education, nothing will.  J and I both grew up on farms, so we understand what he is going through.  He hasn’t complained once - I’m proud of him.
Happy Friday!!! What’s on your to do list this weekend?

04 August, 2010

Wordless Wednesday - Poppy


03 August, 2010

Changes in Latitude, Changes in Attitude...


I’m back from my brief holiday in Arizona and am missing it already.  J and I spent 4 days in Sedona and an additional 2 in Phoenix.  Both cities were fantastic, but each held its own specialness about it.
Having lived briefly in Phoenix in 2000, I knew what to expect with the heat, desert terrain, shopping and the people; however I wasn’t prepared for the breathtaking beauty of Sedona and its laid back vibe.
Highlights of Sedona
Hiking – I didn’t consider myself a hard core “hiker” before this trip, but considered myself more of a “stroller”.  I tend to like to take my time walking, gawking and talking.  At least I did.  After successfully completing a climb up the side of Doe Mountain (on a mountain goat path) and experiencing the vastness and remoteness of the 8 miles West Fork Trail, I’m 100% hard core.  It was challenging, but fun and I lived to tell the tale (even though I swore I was going to die on that mountainside)…
Beads -  Part of the intent of this trip was to source some unique beads and supplies for my business.  I was hoping to find some different beads that couldn’t be found in Canada and that would give my creations a unique feel  and would set my goods apart from what could otherwise be found at Michaels.  With 4 pounds of beads in my carry-on (and a hefty credit card bill to follow), I can honestly say this trip was a success…. 
Simon’s World Famous Hot Dogs – Yep.  One of our most memorable meals was courtesy of Simon’s World Famous Hot Dogs and the Oak Creek Brewery.  Although we prefer a nice dinner once and awhile, J and I are not high-end foodies.  We like to get off the beaten path and go where the locals go and that’s how we wound up in a warehouse in the industrial area of Sedona – home to Oak Creek Brewery and Simon’s.   Where else can you sit beside a vat of beer and enjoy an ice cold beer, accompanied by a super large chili and beef dog, with a side of nachos?  The best part – it was all under $20 and guilt-free thanks to all of the hiking we had done.
The People – It’s hard to explain the people of Sedona, but I would expect that the majority are not originally from Sedona or even Arizona.  I believe the natural beauty and spirituality of the red rocks draw people in from far and wide – both sane and not so much…they are unique.  Where else can you participate in aura readings and make nightly "contact" with ET?  Enough said.
Once J gets around to sharing his 450 pictures with me, I’ll be sure to post a few.