Disclaimers Galore...

So here I am…in body and spirit.  I know it’s been awhile since I’ve been around and you’re probably saying to yourself “who cares”.  Well, I’m back to entertain (or not)…at least for today.
 
I have lots of excuses as to where I’ve been, but the biggest issues in my life right now are the fact that during the day work has been hectic and in the evening I’ve been busy preparing for my Christmas jewelry show next weekend and since Santa hasn’t provided me with any sweatshop elves, I’ve been on my own.
 
So, now that I done with the whining part, let’s get on with the cheesiness…
 
I was busily working away on some stuff here at work and needed to do a little research on some “legal” disclaimers, when I happened upon this great time-wasting website (www.coolsig.com).  Here are some of my favorite disclaimers…I wonder if anyone will notice when I imbed them within the fine print…
 
 
Government Warning: We are corrupt and have sold out to corporate interest. Do not listen to our advice.
 
My opinion is neither copyrighted nor trademarked, and it's price competitive. If you like, I'll trade for one of yours.
 
None of the ideas expressed above are actually mine. They are told to me by Luthor and Ferdinand, the five inch tall space aliens who live under my desk. In return for these ideas, I have given them permission to eat any dust bunnies they may find under there.
 
WARNING: I cannot be held responsible for the above, as apparently my cats have learned how to type.
 
IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social fauxpas. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the mutt next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you.
 
The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of my employer, not necessarily mine, and probably not necessary.

Comments

raydenzel1 said…
Nicely done. Welcome back. Elf break is over, back to work!
November 21, 2011 at 10:01 AM
Simply Suthern said…
Hey, No breaking in line!

I'm supposedly next in line for the sweat shop elves for my shop. You can have the shoemakers elves and any others that cant mill, drill, turn or burn.
November 21, 2011 at 10:16 AM
Brian Miller said…
lol love some of those disclaimers...

hope the show goes well.
November 21, 2011 at 10:32 AM
Beatriz said…
LOL good way to start the week :D
November 21, 2011 at 11:41 AM
CrazyCris said…
those are good for some laughs! Always read those tiny words at the bottom! ;o)

good luck with that Christmas show!
November 21, 2011 at 6:41 PM
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