26 August, 2013

Admitting Defeat...

For those that have been following this blog for awhile, you know that I have a terrible history for staying at one job for a long period of time.

Other than my favorite boss, whom I stayed with for 12 years and where I’d still be if it wasn’t for a non-solicitation clause in his employment agreement that kicked in after a corporate take-over, I’ve never lasted in a job position for more than 3 years. Yep, since 2000, I’ve worked for 6 different employers. I have varying reasons for why I left and moved on – everything from earning more money, needing more challenges, stupid co-workers, unbearable bosses, to extreme boredom and no work. The list goes on.

I’m hopeless in the sense that I can’t seem to find my career groove. I’ll toot my own horn and say that I’m really good at what I do, but tend to get bored, easily if not engaged. I liked to be challenged, but not micro-managed. I like the freedom to make decisions on my own, but also like knowing that if I need guidance or have questions, someone will be there to bounce ideas off of or back me up if I need assistance. I like being treated with respect. I don’t like to be chastised or made to feel like I’m stupid.

When I took my latest position, I was determined to stay put and not jump ship until the end of time…or at least until I could finish out my “5-7 year plan”. Well, here I am again – at the crossroads of “WTF and Hell-No I’m Not Doing This Any Longer”. I will have been here 3 years in November and I’m sad to say, that I’ve not been content a single day of that time and that’s no exaggeration. I wish it was.

Things started out okay (not good, just tolerable), but with every passing day/week/month, things have gotten increasingly worse. For the last six months, every single day when I come into work, I feel anxious about what the day will bring. Mondays are the worst. It’s gotten to the point, that I don’t sleep well on Sunday nights and I feel sick on Monday mornings. This is very unusual for me.

As I assess the situation, this is what I’ve asked myself:

What’s causing this? My boss – he’s a lawyer – enough said. He’s super smart, but should not be allowed to interact with humans. He has no grip on reality. He has no sense of what’s important and what should be given priority. What should take him days to complete, takes him months to finalize and then I get the blame because I didn’t prioritize it properly for him. He’s a master of twisting facts and turning minor issues into major problems. He’s not mean, but is very good a making everyone around him feel guilty for something. It’s like a bad marriage.

What’s keeping me here? The money. I’ll be honest, I get paid extremely well and have a bonus plan, which gets paid out every year. I’m ashamed to admit it, but money is the only thing that is keeping me here. I’m not sure I could do any better than what I’m doing here. I wouldn’t otherwise care, but I really don’t want to sacrifice my grand plans and turn them into a 10 year plan.

Can things be changed? No. There’s no hope. I wish there was.

Will I leave? I would love to say no, that I’m just having a bad day and overreacting, that tomorrow will be better, but it won’t be. I know that.

In the wise words of Kenny Rogers…

You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em,
Know when to walk away and know when to run.
You never count your money when you're sittin' at the table.
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done.

I will say that I’m contemplating my next move and putting out a few “feelers”. If I learned anything in life, it’s when to walk away…

21 August, 2013

Neutral = Boring?

I love bright colors. I like being welcomed by the feeling of warmth and cheerfulness when I enter a room. As much as the houses in Architectural Digest are stunning to look at, I don’t think they are meant to be lived in – at least not by me.

I understand that some of the first rules when selling a house is to depersonalize it, remove clutter and keep wall colors neutral. This allows people to see beyond the knick-knacks and color on the walls and picture what their stuff could look like within the rooms. Here’s my dilemma – in my opinion, neutral colors can be too sterile, impersonal and boring.

I’m not saying I intend on keeping the orange walls in The Boy’s bathroom or the fire engine red paint in his bedroom, but I need to find a compromise that will work for us until we sell the house, but I would like to do it now while J is still willing to have me as his “boss”.

We are 98% done the spare room and have finished painting it and in case you’re wondering about the color, we went with a neutral color. Its’ called dolphin. What color is that? Grey or gray – depending on where you’re from. I don’t hate the finished product, I just don’t love it as much as I would have liked. Oh, well – it’s only the spare room, but at least it’s neutral.

Once The Boy moves out in a couple of weeks, his bathroom is next in line for a makeover (shhh he’s doesn’t know yet). He picked out a new shower curtain from Ikea last week and it does not remotely co-ordinate with the orange walls. One would think it would be cheaper and less work to replace the shower curtain than the wall color, but it needs to be done eventually, so I guess there’s no time like the present. Nothing like a hideous incentive to get the ball (and paint roller) rolling.

15 August, 2013

Save The Drama...

DISCLAIMER: The opinions expressed here are my own and are based solely on my life experiences. I will say that I’ve worked with some fantastic women, but recently my bad experiences have outweighed the good.

Can I just say how much I dislike working with women? Yes, I realize I am one; however I’m more of a “tom boy” type of gal.

For the most part, I have great working relationships with my male co-workers. The women – not so much. They are an entirely different story. Don’t get me wrong, I can tolerate them, I just don’t enjoy interacting with them.

My male co-workers for the most part, are minimalistic. You ladies out there might disagree but I find that they don’t need as much babysitting. I can ask them to provide me with information and they don’t whine about it. Guys get shit done.

My female co-workers will do EVERYTHING in their power to avoid taking responsibility for anything. They will not simply respond to an e-mail request. Nooo, they insist of calling to “discuss it” first and then will proceed to whine about it and then, they will tell me how busy their schedules are and how it might be difficult for them to fulfill my request in a timely manner. With at least 10 minutes wasted, they could have easily completed what I asked and saved us both a ton of time and me at least two doses of headache medication.

I hear these same women constantly complain about inequality in the workplace and how life would be so much easier if they had a penis. Ummm, no – life would be so much easier if they would just shut the hell up and do your job. These women are their own worst enemies. If they put as much effort into working hard, they might get a little higher on the corporate ladder or at the very least, they would earn a little more respect at the end of the day.

Another reason why I like my male co-workers – you don’t need to pretend to care how their weekend was, nor do you need to tell them how fabulous their new shirt is or how great their new haircut is. They don’t care. I like that.

There is nothing I hate more than fake, idle chit-chat. If I take the time to ask you how your weekend was and then listen to you for 15 minutes, I expect the same courtesy in return. Don’t ask me how my weekend was and then interrupt me the first chance you get so that you can get to the point of telling me how fantastic your weekend was.

Another thing male co-workers don’t do that I appreciate is that the fact that they don’t size up your wardrobe the minute you walk in the door – your boobs maybe, but not your wardrobe. I like that. Women are bitches that way.

Not once before this job did I have to remove a “knife from my back”. Here, I do it on a daily basis – sometimes multiple times in one day.

Oh well, life goes on – those women will be here WAY after I’m gone. Why? Because I’ve worked hard, kept my mouth shut (for the most part), known when to pick my battles and that’s why I’m going places….far, faraway places.