Heard it through the cube wall...
The ongoing saga of my neighbors in the HR Department continues. As hard as these tales may be to comprehend, believe me, these are true stories – based on true accounts of the raging stupidity surrounding me. The sad thing is, there’s not just one individual – there are three of them and a new one is starting today.
HR Manager: The monitor in my office doesn’t have anything on the screen.
IT Guy: That’s because it’s not turned on.
HR Manager: Oh, really? How did that happen?
IT Guy: It’s called an OFF button and you push it.
At that point in the conversation, I had to leave my desk because I was convulsing with laughter.
HR Assistant: Something’s really strange in the bathroom. Every time I walk in there, the air freshener goes off and the lights automatically come on.
Me: Really? That is really strange. You’d better call Ghost Busters or at least the facilities manager.
HR Assistant: In a dead serious voice – you don’t think the bathroom is haunted do you?
Me: Silence
I’m trying not to choke on my tongue. The HR Assistant has been here a few months now and still hasn’t figured out that the bathroom lights and air freshener are motion sensitive, so every time she walks in…well, you know what happens.
HR Assistant: There is something wrong with my phone.
Me: Silence. I’m trying to ignore her.
HR Assistant: Did you hear me? I said something is wrong with my phone.
Me: What is wrong now?
HR Assistant: Well, the light is blinking and every time I pick it up, no one is there.
Me: Does the phone make a sound when the light is blinking?
HR Assistant: No, just the light blinks and then when I pick it up, no one is there.
Me: The phone isn’t actually ringing. The blinking light indicates that you have a voicemail.
HR Assistant: Oh. Well, how does the phone know it’s a voicemail and not a real person trying to call me?
Me: *shit* I don’t know, call IT.
I kid you not - this place is becoming hazardous to my health. On a daily basis, I wonder how I manage to make it through without choking to death or snorting coffee through my nose. It’s hard I tell you – HARD!
Comments
@SA - Oh, my neighbor is still there and is obviously tormented by some sort of demons. Soon, it will be me though... LOL!
I'm going to have to make a mental note to avoid consuming liquids when I read your posts... it's too dangerous for my computer screen! :p
I give you kudos for actually answering this person. I would have gone over and thrown the phone at her.
I wonder whether I'd get a promotion for doing so in your situation.
:-)
Possible scenario: "Of course the bathroom is haunted, you have to use a magic formula to chase the ghosts away. Next time you need to go number 1, just say in a loud, confident voice 'hoola-boola-bumbledum!' and they'll leave you alone. No need to do that for number 2 - the smell wards them off."
Okay... that may have been fun only in my imagination... :o)
It sounds like it could be hazardous to their health soon, too. I'm just saying.
-Joshua
Love your blog!