Trust Me, When I Say - I Will Make You Pay…
I don’t even know where to start this blog – last week was a crazy week and I was so pissed off at the events of last week that I just could bring myself to put my thoughts into words. With a calmer head, I’m going to tell you the tale of how naïve a teenage boy can actually be.
Apart from the basics like he doesn’t clean his room, do his homework without being flogged or have common sense when to keep his mouth shut, I don’t have too many complaints about my son. He is a good kid – he’s fun loving, compassionate, honest and maybe to a fault - he’s trusting (at least he was). I know you may think that a being trusting is a great trait and I’m sure it’s a trait he’s picked up from his father because I, on the other hand do not trust anyone 100%. Call me a cynic, but I guess that comes from my years spent working with lawyers and commissioned sales people – I’m bitter and I’m o.k. with it.
Now for the back story - last Saturday, we purchased my son a video camera. The point of the purchase wash twofold - he is heading on a trip to Alaska in July, we thought it would be nice if he was able to document his trip and as he would be in Alaska on his 17th birthday, the camera would also act as his birthday present and to make sure that he was familiar it, he was allowed to take possession of it early.
Let me just say, the boy was elated with this new toy. He thanked us profusely for the gift and proceeded to spend the next 3 nights outside (in the fresh air) playing with it – not in his room on his PlayStation 3 or on his computer attached to MSN. Some say it was a miracle! As an added bonus, as part of his end of year English project, he and his buddies were filming an adventure commercial and the new video camera would come in handy. Right? One would think…
On Thursday afternoon, I receive a call from my son informing me that he’ll be staying after school to work on the “filming project” and asking if I can pick him up at 8:00. “No problem, see you then, be careful, have fun and make sure you actually work on that project”, I say. Knowing full well, they will work on the project for approximately 1 hour and then they will go swimming at the local “swimming hole”. It’s what I would do and because my son and I are so much alike (except for the trust factor), I know it’s what he will do too.
On Thursday evening at 7:30 p.m., I receive a phone call from a number I don’t recognize, but since my “spidey senses are tingling” and my son is still out and about; I decide to answer it instead of letting the machine pick it up. It’s my son on the other end and he is distraught – someone has stolen his backpack – the backpack containing his camera and cell phone. “F---K”! Are the first words out of my mouth, followed by “You better not be screwing with me! I’ll be right there to pick you up.” The kid also has a sense of humor, so you never know what he might be up to. Shame on me.
When I hang up and relay the message to my husband. His response was not one of kindness and it certainly wasn’t thought through. “What is he stupid?” Let me just say, my husband will think twice or perhaps three times before he says something like that again - especially after I threatened to run his camera equipment over with my car – just to see how it made him feel to lose something of importance to him.
I am a mother and with that job and regardless of the situation, there is a certain sense of protectionism and entitlement; including the entitlement to the naming calling of my son. If anyone is going to call him stupid, it wouldn’t be his father – it would be me damn it, but even I happen to have the common sense to save the name calling for a moment when the kid hadn’t already been kicked in the proverbial groin and was feeling like a piece of shit.
Believe me, he was feeling like crap – he just lost his new video camera (less than a week old), his lifeline had also been stolen (cell phone with texting), his backpack had been burned – along with his shorts, belt and gym clothes. His math text book was torn to pieces with less than a week of school to go and to top things off, the video camera contained the completed English “project” for not only him, but six of his friends. The only thing remaining were the shorts he went swimming in (aka when the backpack was left unattended).
Stupid move on my son's part? Most definitely, yes, but it has also served as a life lesson, although a harsh one. With tears in his eyes, his only comment to me was “I’m sorry mom; I honestly didn’t expect anyone in our small town to do such a thing.”
I could care less about the personal items that were lost as they can be replaced, but believe me, if I ever find out who violated my son’s trust, they better hope they have a head start because I will hunt them down and make them pay. Did I happen to mention that I am fiercely protective?
I've learned - that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
Apart from the basics like he doesn’t clean his room, do his homework without being flogged or have common sense when to keep his mouth shut, I don’t have too many complaints about my son. He is a good kid – he’s fun loving, compassionate, honest and maybe to a fault - he’s trusting (at least he was). I know you may think that a being trusting is a great trait and I’m sure it’s a trait he’s picked up from his father because I, on the other hand do not trust anyone 100%. Call me a cynic, but I guess that comes from my years spent working with lawyers and commissioned sales people – I’m bitter and I’m o.k. with it.
Now for the back story - last Saturday, we purchased my son a video camera. The point of the purchase wash twofold - he is heading on a trip to Alaska in July, we thought it would be nice if he was able to document his trip and as he would be in Alaska on his 17th birthday, the camera would also act as his birthday present and to make sure that he was familiar it, he was allowed to take possession of it early.
Let me just say, the boy was elated with this new toy. He thanked us profusely for the gift and proceeded to spend the next 3 nights outside (in the fresh air) playing with it – not in his room on his PlayStation 3 or on his computer attached to MSN. Some say it was a miracle! As an added bonus, as part of his end of year English project, he and his buddies were filming an adventure commercial and the new video camera would come in handy. Right? One would think…
On Thursday afternoon, I receive a call from my son informing me that he’ll be staying after school to work on the “filming project” and asking if I can pick him up at 8:00. “No problem, see you then, be careful, have fun and make sure you actually work on that project”, I say. Knowing full well, they will work on the project for approximately 1 hour and then they will go swimming at the local “swimming hole”. It’s what I would do and because my son and I are so much alike (except for the trust factor), I know it’s what he will do too.
On Thursday evening at 7:30 p.m., I receive a phone call from a number I don’t recognize, but since my “spidey senses are tingling” and my son is still out and about; I decide to answer it instead of letting the machine pick it up. It’s my son on the other end and he is distraught – someone has stolen his backpack – the backpack containing his camera and cell phone. “F---K”! Are the first words out of my mouth, followed by “You better not be screwing with me! I’ll be right there to pick you up.” The kid also has a sense of humor, so you never know what he might be up to. Shame on me.
When I hang up and relay the message to my husband. His response was not one of kindness and it certainly wasn’t thought through. “What is he stupid?” Let me just say, my husband will think twice or perhaps three times before he says something like that again - especially after I threatened to run his camera equipment over with my car – just to see how it made him feel to lose something of importance to him.
I am a mother and with that job and regardless of the situation, there is a certain sense of protectionism and entitlement; including the entitlement to the naming calling of my son. If anyone is going to call him stupid, it wouldn’t be his father – it would be me damn it, but even I happen to have the common sense to save the name calling for a moment when the kid hadn’t already been kicked in the proverbial groin and was feeling like a piece of shit.
Believe me, he was feeling like crap – he just lost his new video camera (less than a week old), his lifeline had also been stolen (cell phone with texting), his backpack had been burned – along with his shorts, belt and gym clothes. His math text book was torn to pieces with less than a week of school to go and to top things off, the video camera contained the completed English “project” for not only him, but six of his friends. The only thing remaining were the shorts he went swimming in (aka when the backpack was left unattended).
Stupid move on my son's part? Most definitely, yes, but it has also served as a life lesson, although a harsh one. With tears in his eyes, his only comment to me was “I’m sorry mom; I honestly didn’t expect anyone in our small town to do such a thing.”
I could care less about the personal items that were lost as they can be replaced, but believe me, if I ever find out who violated my son’s trust, they better hope they have a head start because I will hunt them down and make them pay. Did I happen to mention that I am fiercely protective?
I've learned - that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.
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BTW - came to your blog via Rain. Great writing!