The Art of Letter Writing...

I've been neglecting my letter writing of late, so here goes...

My Dearest Husband,

Soon, we will have been married for 21 years.  If you want to still be married in a year from now, may I suggest that you stop calling me grumpy?

Hugs and Kisses

S

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My Sweetest Son,

I understand that jobs are hard to find for students in this current economy, but you may need to consider selling a kidney because I am tired and poor from footing the bill for your prom expenses.

Love,

Mom

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Dearest Mother-In-Law,

I hope you appreciated the gift I made for your birthday.  I noticed you didn’t say thank you.  I’m assuming that you liked it when you asked for a matching necklace.  Oh and until I get a proper thank you, I’m holding off on buying you a mother’s day present.

Yours truly,

Your Dearest Daughter-In-Law (not the stupid one - the other one)

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Dearest Boss,

Why do you make me come to work every day?   It’s obviously apparent to you that I’m not busy and would really rather be somewhere else.  Why can’t we come to some form of agreement on this topic?

Yours truly,

Your Loyal Employee

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Dear Cube-Dwelling Twit,

Please stop talking with food in your mouth.  I’m not sure how you missed the memo from your mother on this one, but let me catch you up – it’s disgusting and could be hazardous to your health.  For example, you could choke on that granola or I could lose an eye from the fragments that are flying about.  In which case, I will choke you myself.

Yours truly,

A Concerned Co-Worker