Jeff Foxworthy...no it's not about Rednecks (sort of)...


Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about Canadians:

The saddest part... I can relate to them all.
  • If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Canada.
  • If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Canada.
  • If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Canada.
  • If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialled a wrong number, you may live in Canada.
  • If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Detroit for the weekend, you may live in Canada.
  • If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Canada.
  • If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Canada.
  • If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day, and back again, you may live in Canada.
  • If you can drive 90 km/hr through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Canada.
  • If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Canada.
  • If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Canada.
  • If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Canada.
  • If the speed limit on the highway is 80 km -- You're going 95 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Canada.
  • If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Canada.
  • If you know all 4 seasons: Almost winter, winter, still winter, and road construction, you may live in Canada.
  • If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Canada.
  • If you find -2 degrees 'a little chilly', you may live in Canada.
  • If you actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all your friends, you definitely are Canadian, and proud to be.

Comments

Beatriz said…
Hey you could be Texan if you measure distance in hours :) Those are funny! I need to find the email I have of this but for El Pasoans. Have a good day.
November 30, 2009 at 12:02 PM
Joshua said…
*Dairy Queen - This happens in North Chicago, too. Growing up sucked because I always wanted ice cream, not just in the summer.

*Deer - Or you live in South Dakota. True story: Twice in one week. Nice family vacation.

-Joshua
November 30, 2009 at 1:24 PM
Brian Miller said…
lol. err...my wife knows how to use jumper cables...
November 30, 2009 at 2:27 PM
Travel & Dive Girl said…
@SA - It's so true - when someone does ask where I live? I respond "2 hours west of Toronto".

@Joshua - I'm glad you understand my pain of wanting a Blizzard in January, just not the shitty weather kind. Wow, you must be Canadian too if you've killed that many deer. LOL!

@Brian - Hmmm? If not Canadian - redneck perhaps? Kidding - smiles...
November 30, 2009 at 3:04 PM
Rebecca S. said…
That is a great list! The only one I can't relate to is driving fast in the snowstorm. No way - mind you, the roads in BC are a lot curvier than in Ontario - and I've already slid off the road enough times to last me forever!

I guess I'm a true Canadian because I don't see any of those points on the list as a negative.

Cheers!
November 30, 2009 at 4:47 PM
JennAventures said…
you may also be from Lexington Michigan (just south of Sarnia)!
November 30, 2009 at 7:34 PM
Respectfully Yours said…
Sweet. I can relate to all. Only in Canada eh!
November 30, 2009 at 7:38 PM
Mike said…
* If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Canada.

* If you have switched from 'heat' to 'A/C' in the same day, and back again, you may live in Canada.

Both of these actually apply to North Carolina, especially the heat to AC one!
November 30, 2009 at 8:46 PM
k said…
ha! that's good. I measure time in hours though...i'm not Canadian...but close!!
November 30, 2009 at 11:01 PM
The pale observer said…
Excellent! Makes me miss home a bit. A Canadian in Ghana is surely out of place when the seasons her are summer, summer, hot and hotter...
December 2, 2009 at 5:24 AM
Anonymous said…
I measure distance in hours as well. I live 1 hour away from my parents, my bf lives 4 hours away (too far haha), and about 15 min walk from university! LOL the distance doesn't really matter to me. It's how long it takes to get there! :P
December 2, 2009 at 2:48 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I Was Feeling Pretty Good Until...

I had my annual “physical” yesterday.   I’ve been attending the same clinic for well over 20 years and am overall happy with the service I receive.  The clinic is part of a state-of-the-art teaching hospital, so with that I typically have relatively quick access to a network of specialists should the need arise.  With that being said, I’m usually treated by residents and have rarely had the same resident in all my 20 years. I felt pretty good going into the appointment and then not so much by the time I left.   Why do you ask? Well, first of all I was treated by Miss Doogie Howser.   I swear she wasn’t even legal drinking age.  That in itself made me feel old, because when I first started going to that clinic – I WAS her age. As she was running down the standard list of questions (i.e. do you smoke, how much do you drink, is there any history of heart problems in your family), she asked me “How is your sex life?  Any concerns? 
Read more

Snot Bubbles and Wedgies...

Scuba diving can be the most relaxing, peaceful experience of your life – no cell phones, no boss and no noise, except for your own bubbles; however it can be a sport that is not for the faint of heart – rough waters, sharks and crushing depths. If you are self-conscious, shy or weak of stomach, scuba diving may not be for you. Let me explain… Warning: The following may be overly descriptive. Read on at your own risk… The scuba wetsuit. There is nothing glamorous about squeezing a size 8, 10, 12 body into a size 8 neoprene wetsuit, while sweating under the Caribbean sun. It’s sort of like trying to put a sock on while your foot is still wet. Scuba diving professionals may tell you, that neoprene doesn’t shrink, but those people are liars. What they are really trying to do is make you feel good about yourself – selfish bastards. I am living proof that my wetsuit has shrunk on numerous occasions – usually over the winter months. Coincidence? I think not. The wedgie. This un
Read more