Don't Mess With Texas - Yeah Right!
As, I am still awaiting a firm offer of employment from this opportunity, I will share with you another “bad-boss” story.
This one is about a guy named Jack. I fondly thought of him as Jack Ass. Jack was from Texas. As you know, everything is apparently bigger in Texas and therefore Jack was the grandest asshole of them all.
There are many things that made him an unacceptable boss - for example, this man believed it was perfectly acceptable to submit expense receipts for lap dances and when I questioned the validity of these as business expenses, I was told “not to worry my pretty little head about it” and just submit them as “entertainment expenses”. Yup, who knew?
My office was side-by-side with Jack’s and instead of simply walking to my office or picking up the phone and dialing my extension, he would yell down the office corridor. “GIRRRLLL! I say, I say, GIRRRLLL! Can you come in here a second?” Seriously, he sounded like Foghorn Leghorn with his Texas accent and the slight stutter.
The first dozen times this happened, thinking it must be extremely important, I would jump up, run in with pen in hand to see what the man could possibly need. Nope, he was simply too freakin lazy to get up from behind his king size desk and saunter 20 paces to my office and the thought of dialing my 3 digit extension number on the phone would have most certainly caused the man a coronary.
My reaction would soon change. When the bellowing would begin, I would close my eyes and begin some deep breathing exercises and would let him continue for a minute or two “GIRRRLLL! I say, I say, GIRRRLLL! Can you come in here a second? “GIRRRLLL! I say, I say, GIRRRLLL! Did you not hear me?”
When I couldn’t possibly take it any longer, I would take one final, long breath and would scream back at him, “WHAAAT! WHAAAT! WHAAAT! I SAY, I SAY, WHAT DO YOU WANT?” With the office suddenly silent, except for the sound of the blood pressure ringing in my ears and the sound of my co-workers ducking for cover, I could hear him shuffle out from behind his desk, appearing in my doorway. “Could you sharpen my pencil for me?” With my eyes locked on him, waiting for something else to spew from him bearded mouth, I bit my tongue and replied “Sure thing Jack”. What I actually wanted to say was, “Would you like me to stick up you’re a$$ for you as well?”
From that day forward, Jack did not bother to yell at me from his office, nor did he ask me to sharpen his pencil. I would like to believe that some form of respect was gained from him that day or maybe it was a healthy dose of fear.
This one is about a guy named Jack. I fondly thought of him as Jack Ass. Jack was from Texas. As you know, everything is apparently bigger in Texas and therefore Jack was the grandest asshole of them all.
There are many things that made him an unacceptable boss - for example, this man believed it was perfectly acceptable to submit expense receipts for lap dances and when I questioned the validity of these as business expenses, I was told “not to worry my pretty little head about it” and just submit them as “entertainment expenses”. Yup, who knew?
My office was side-by-side with Jack’s and instead of simply walking to my office or picking up the phone and dialing my extension, he would yell down the office corridor. “GIRRRLLL! I say, I say, GIRRRLLL! Can you come in here a second?” Seriously, he sounded like Foghorn Leghorn with his Texas accent and the slight stutter.
The first dozen times this happened, thinking it must be extremely important, I would jump up, run in with pen in hand to see what the man could possibly need. Nope, he was simply too freakin lazy to get up from behind his king size desk and saunter 20 paces to my office and the thought of dialing my 3 digit extension number on the phone would have most certainly caused the man a coronary.
My reaction would soon change. When the bellowing would begin, I would close my eyes and begin some deep breathing exercises and would let him continue for a minute or two “GIRRRLLL! I say, I say, GIRRRLLL! Can you come in here a second? “GIRRRLLL! I say, I say, GIRRRLLL! Did you not hear me?”
When I couldn’t possibly take it any longer, I would take one final, long breath and would scream back at him, “WHAAAT! WHAAAT! WHAAAT! I SAY, I SAY, WHAT DO YOU WANT?” With the office suddenly silent, except for the sound of the blood pressure ringing in my ears and the sound of my co-workers ducking for cover, I could hear him shuffle out from behind his desk, appearing in my doorway. “Could you sharpen my pencil for me?” With my eyes locked on him, waiting for something else to spew from him bearded mouth, I bit my tongue and replied “Sure thing Jack”. What I actually wanted to say was, “Would you like me to stick up you’re a$$ for you as well?”
From that day forward, Jack did not bother to yell at me from his office, nor did he ask me to sharpen his pencil. I would like to believe that some form of respect was gained from him that day or maybe it was a healthy dose of fear.
Comments
I say, I say, you should have given him a foot up the ass! Must have been from Dallas.
Hahahah.. that part got me laughing to tears!
But seriously, though... if you're too lazy to walk, it's much more simple to call then to yell across the hall... For goodness sakes...