Journey & Adventure

Good-Bye January...

2012-01-31T13:09:00.000-05:00

I can’t begin to tell you how HAPPY I am that January is on its way out.

I’ve mentioned before that it gives me great satisfaction when I’m able to turn the calendar to a new month and saying good-bye to this month brings me great satisfaction.

There is something to be said for new beginnings and saying “so long” to sucky months like January. I’ve never been a fan of January because it’s endlessly long, cold and dark and there isn’t anything to look forward to, except long, cold, dark days.

Here’s to you February…

Faces Of Cuenca: Look What $20 Buys You At The Market

2012-01-27T08:45:00.000-05:00

Following up from yesterday's post - here's some more "food for thought" (pardon the pun), as to why we are planning to relocate to Ecuador

Faces Of Cuenca: Look What $20 Buys You At The Market: Sharon and I have been in Cuenca almost 8 months. There are times we really miss the car but I have been shopping 3-4 times a week and I alw...

Cost of Living in Ecuador

2012-01-26T07:44:00.004-05:00

In an earlier post, I told you that one of the reasons we’ve decided to relocate to Ecuador was to reduce our overall cost of living. By relocating somewhere where the cost of living is significantly cheaper, we are hopeful that our funds will go further, allowing us the ability to slow down and actually enjoy life.

Recently, Ecuador was voted the #1 Retirement Haven in the World by International Living Magazine for like the umpteenth (I think it’s a word) year in a row. Now rest assured, we haven’t foolishly based our decision on an article from a company that also wants to sell me “relocation kits and seminars”. Honestly, I’ve taken what I’ve read from them with a grain of salt.

It wasn’t until I started reading many blogs from expats living in Ecuador which all allude to the same thing – it’s cheap and it’s spectacular.

For example, a couple (ages 56 and 53) live in the mountain village of Cotacatchi, where they don’t have to worry about stretching their retirement dollars. Their total monthly expenses are just $580 and that amount includes a maid service, pet expenses and rent on a new 1,200 square foot apartment.

Here’s their detailed monthly budget:

Rent:	$150
Food:	$250
Water:	$6
Electricity:	$13
Propane:	$7
Medications	$50
Laundry:	$24
Housecleaning (maid twice a week):	$40
Dog food:	$40
Total:	$580

Now, we plan on living beach front, so our housing expenses would higher if we planned on renting, but we plan on buying, so we can subtract the cost of rent from the overall expenses, but will need to add in insurance, internet and telephone. So, even if our living expenses were $900 a month – we’d be laughing all the way to the bank. Our basic monthly expenses now are at least 4 times that amount. It makes me ill just thinking about the money we are wasting.

It’s not just for retirees either. I’ve found numerous blogs from expats with young families that have chosen to move to Ecuador for a simpler, cheaper life – where family takes priority over both parents needing to work 50 hours each just to make ends meet.

So, there you have it – Ecuador is the place to go. It’s the place where I’m going. Let me know if you want to join me. I hear the rent on a beach chair will cost you 25 cents a day and beer is cheap at only 75 cents per bottle, so depending on how much you drink, you could live fairly cheaply by camping out on my beach, but act soon because those prices won’t last for long…

Losing Sleep and Counting Sheep…

2012-01-25T14:38:00.002-05:00

Until recently, I’ve never had a problem with going to sleep and staying asleep. I’ve grown accustomed to and am rather fond of getting a solid 8 hours a night. Sure, I’ve had the odd night of restlessness now and then, but nothing like I’ve been experiencing recently.

I go to bed exhausted, barely able to hold an after-dinner conversation, but then find myself tossing, turning and fidgeting. I’m sensitive to every sound in my vicinity – including the barking dogs down the road, which until recently I didn’t know existed.

Once I’m finally able to fall asleep, I typically sleep soundly for what I think is a few hours, although I’m not exactly sure on time, because I refuse to look at the clock.

Once awake, the cycle starts over again – tossing, turning, fidgeting, and contemplating the demise of the barking dogs down the road.

I’ve tried counting sheep, but have realized that I have attention deficit disorder - I can’t for the life of me make it past 4 and then I have to start over. I’ve tried to pretend I’m lying of a beach in the sun, listening to the waves roll in. I’ve tried to recite Shakespeare - Hamlet’s speech “To be or not to be”. Don’t judge – I had to learn it for theatre arts class and it has stuck with me ever since. Regardless of what I’ve tried, I’ve failed. Eventually sleep does come – typically 10 minutes before the alarm goes off.

I’ve no doubt been subconsciously been thinking about “things”, but it’s unusual for me. I’m not a worrier. I’m usually able to leave those “things” behind when I head to bed. I can’t put my finger on the root of the problem and it’s frustrating me…

I don’t even like sheep….I think I’m allergic – in addition to having A-D-D.

The Tax Man Cometh...

2012-01-24T14:00:00.000-05:00

Finally, with the holiday season well behind me, I’ve finally been able to start catching up on my jewelry stuff. This past weekend was spent photographing, writing descriptions for and posting the finished pieces to both my website and Etsy.

I swear the maintenance side of this jewelry business could be a full-time job (if I had the time to do it properly). I don’t understand how I let myself fall so far behind over the holiday season, but sadly…it happened. Actually, it happens every year…

The worst part about it…I haven’t updated my business accounting program since tax season last year and guess what’s just around the corner? Ummm….tax season!

How the hell, does this keep happening to me and why do it let it? Meh. (insert shoulder shrug here). Anyhow, whining about it isn’t making it go away, so off I go to toil my misery away.

I leave you with a few photos of some recent pieces.

Random Thoughts - Staying Positive...

2012-01-18T14:26:00.000-05:00

It’s a pay week. Pay weeks are what makes working for “the man” all worthwhile.

Our weather here has been very unusual. One day it is unbearably cold, windy and snowing and then the next morning, it becomes unseasonably warm, with tons of rain and then by the end of the same day, we are back to sub-arctic temperatures, flash freezing and snow. The mood swings of Mother Nature are killing my sinuses. It's January, I guess I shouldn't complain...shouldn't and won't are two different things.

I received a terrifying call from my sister-in-law yesterday telling me that my father-in-law was in the hospital with a suspected blood clot in his lungs. She went on to tell me that they suspected it was a blood clot because he had recently flown. All I could think of is “great, now I’m going to be blamed for killing their father because it was my idea to take them to Hawaii”. The requisite tests were completed, but nothing could be found and by the end of day yesterday, the hospital sent him home. Obviously I’m thankful for the outcome, but I will not be taking him on any trips where airplanes are involved anytime soon.

I’m not sure what was more disturbing – receiving the call from my sister-in-law in the first place or that the hospital sent him home and we still don’t know what caused his problems in the first place.

Speaking of airplanes, it’s only 1 month and 27 days until we leave for the Philippines. Normally we save for these large trips over a 2-3 year period, but this one was fast-tracked to less than a year. To say it’s killed me financially would be an understatement. As I type this, I’m still eating ramen noodles for lunch and will likely be until the day I leave.

I’m not sure if I told you, but for the next 3 ½ months, I’ll be staying at work until 8:00 p.m. on Wednesdays and Thursdays. Why? As you know, Thy Boy has been riding with me to school every day, as I work within a block of the college. It saves him a ton of money, which in turn saves me a ton of money. Well, this semester he has two late night classes and therein lays the reason for my being here until 8:00. He knows better than to complain about it seeing how I’m stuck is the land of misery with him. My mantra on these days: I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

“Constant repetition carries conviction.” – Robert Collier

So What’cha Going Do to Earn a Living?

2012-01-15T20:52:00.000-05:00

I know that will be the first question to be asked by our friends and families when we finally tell them about our escape plan.

My response will be “Good question. You’ll be the first to know once we figure it out.”

That’s where we’re at - at this point in time, we don’t really know how we’ll earn an income. The initial goal is to sustain ourselves with the initial proceeds from the sale of our house and all of our stuff. Provided we are careful with our money, we should be able to live quite comfortably for a few years without having to work. Obviously, we still would like the ability to travel, so becoming permanent beach bums isn’t really an option.

We have longer term ideas of perhaps opening a B&B, hostel, beach bar, scuba shop or the like. We also have shorter term goals of selling some of J's photograph on stock photography sites or perhaps I'll become a professional blogger (ha, like I’ll earn a living from that). I also plan on continuing to create and sell my jewelry.

Once in Ecuador, we’ll have the time to figure out what we want to do and if there is a specific niche that needs to be filled, we’ll look into filling it. Really, the possibilities are endless.

Sorry For Stating the Obvious…

2012-01-13T10:49:00.000-05:00

BUT, thank goodness it’s Friday.

The only thing that would make this day better is if it was 5:00 or better yet, if I had stayed home.

It is snowing here today. I know I shouldn’t complain because we’ve been fortunate to experience a drier than usual winter, but today my commute took over two hours when usually it only takes me one. To top it off, I also had to stop and get gas for my car (you know how much I love to do that too)…in the blowing, freezing cold snow storm.

It’s winter, which is misery to those like me. On the other hand, it’s a veritable winter wonderland for those crazy, freak of nature types that LOVE the snow, who by the way – I have “unfriended” from Facebook. I can’t possibly be friends with THOSE types of people any longer.

Now that I’ve properly ranted…I hope everyone has a great Friday and a fantastic weekend.

The “How To” Plan - Before We Go...

2012-01-12T07:45:00.000-05:00

I wish I could tell you that I have it all figured out and that our relocate plan is 100% foolproof, but let’s be honest…I don’t really have it all sorted out just yet.

Here are some highlights to date:

1. Become Debt Free. Our main plan of action is still to pay off the mortgage, credit line and any other debts we might have within the next 3-5 years. When the time comes to sell here, the equity we have in our current house will easily pay for our house or condo in Ecuador. Believe me, we don’t have an extravagant house now, but housing costs in Ecuador are substantially less than houses in North America, which will give us a nice nest egg left over.

2. Downsizing. Slowly we will begin to purge everything non-essential from our lives. Apart from our laptops and iPods and some personal meaningful items, we don’t plan on taking much with us, but the thought of narrowing it down to only a few boxes is overwhelming me already. I’m not attached to a lot of things, but the thought of the work involved in getting rid of it all is freaking me out. The discussion has already begun as to what can go now and what needs to stay until the end. I can also tell you that the “eBay and yard sale” piles have also formed. If you’re looking for something in particular, let me know – I probably have it.

3. Save, Save and Save Some More. This one is obvious, but we will be watching our money more closely than usual and choosing our expenditures even more wisely. The plan is to save the money we make from selling off our household items in a separate account and slowly convert the money from Canadian to USD, as USD is the currency of Ecuador. This money will then cover our set-up costs in Ecuador or as I like to call it - the “buy new stuff in Ecuador” fund.

4. Learn to Speak Spanish. This is probably the biggest obstacle we will need to overcome. I can speak a little Spanish, but unless I only need to ask for directions to the bathroom or order a beverage and cheeseburger, I’m pretty much screwed. I’m looking into the Rosetta Stone program and would appreciate any insight or personal recommendations you guys might have on this one. (Krystn don’t make any plans for 2017, since I might need to take you up on your offer to become my personal translator and relocate to Ecuador with me.)

The details are particularly fuzzy on what we plan on doing once we get there, so I’ll leave that for another day.

What Were We Thinking?

2012-01-10T19:16:00.000-05:00

In yesterday’s post, I said I would try to explain our decision about our plan to relocate to Ecuador in 2017. Putting our thoughts on paper is harder than I thought it would be, so please excuse me if it doesn’t make sense to you, but in the paradise that is my mind…it makes sense to me.

Let me first say – regardless of how much I complain about the long, cold, Canadian winters, we love our country and Canada will always be our home. That said, I’ve got enough love in my heart to go round, so enough with the mushy stuff. Here we go…

Lack of Time

I know I’m not the only one out there and that the majority of us are in the same boat. We all lack time and lack of time is has been one of the biggest deciding factors to relocate - we just don’t have time and can’t seem of find the time for anything – no time for each other, no time for our son, no time for chores, no time for hobbies, no time for friends and no time for family. Simply put, there is no time to enjoy life.

Pace of Life

We’re looking for a slower pace. I don’t know about all of you, but in my opinion, technology has not improved us as a society. Technology may make your life easier in certain aspects, but complicates it in others. We no sooner complete one task, when we are faced with another task, which is most likely needed sooner than the previous task. No matter how fast we do something – it’s never fast enough.

I’m not lazy, but I don’t want to do more in a shorter period of time - I want to do less. I want to be less connected and feel less obliged to respond to instant messages, text messages, e-mails, phone calls, voice mails. I can guarantee you that I won’t go without technology. I just won’t be a slave to it any longer.

Quality of Life – Short Term

J and I both make decent money, but because of the cost of living and personal income taxes being what they are here in Canada, it’s hard to feel a sense of accomplishment at the end of the month. We know we are fortunate to have what we have and travel like we do, but we work extremely hard and sacrifice a great deal of time and energy to get to that point.

We don’t want more stuff in life, but instead want more from life. Ecuador will give us this ability.

Quality of Life – Long Term

Although, J and I aren’t close to retirement age, we worry about the ability to retire comfortably or quite frankly, the ability to retire at all. By moving to a country where the cost of living is significantly less than where we are now, we know we will be able to live comfortably in our golden years and actually enjoy the life we’ve worked for.

I’ll expand on this topic in greater detail in another post, because a lot of research and fact finding missions went into the realization that we would be financially better off in another country.

Weather

There is no secret that I dislike winter. I dislike the cold, I dislike the wet and I dislike the dampness.

I’m sure I’ll miss the changing seasons, but by moving to Ecuador, we can still experience the seasons if we feel the need to by travelling to the different regions the country has to offer. By living in Coastal Ecuador, we will have the benefit of experiencing Summer like weather year round, but the Southern Mountain Region will allow for Spring like weather and Northern Mountain Region will give us the feeling of Fall/Winter. Of course, there is also the Amazon Region which will give us hot as hell temperatures, big friggin snakes, creepy crawlies and probably some form of typhoid or dengue fever. Ecuador has something for everyone – whether you want it or not.

Other Stuff

Scuba Diving - The Galapagos Islands are part of Ecuador and the close proximity to world-class giving is super exciting to us. J and I dove in The Galapagos Islands in 2003 and have always said we would love to go back. I guess now, we’ll get our chance.

Surfing – Coastal Ecuador is fast becoming a world-class surfing destination. Although J and I don’t surf, we are fascinated by the athletic skill level of surfers and are envious of their carefree beach lifestyle. When in Puerto Rico and Hawaii, we spent hours, upon hours at the beach with the surfers – J photographing and me, just watching and enjoying their company. Time well wasted in my opinion.

So, there they are…some of the deciding factors we looked at when making our decision to relocate. We are well aware that there are just as many, if not more negatives that go along with the positives that I listed. Perhaps, I’ll cover those in a later post – along with explaining how we plan on making this happen. I figure if I put my thoughts in writing, maybe they won’t sound as insane as they do in my mind.

Since you are the only people we are sharing these early stages of our adventure with (for the time being), please let me know if you have any specific questions you’d like to have answers to. I’m happy to share…and will give you an answer to almost any question.

Courage or Insantity? I'm Not Sure Yet...

2012-01-09T20:30:00.000-05:00

You might remember me telling you about my 7-10 year plan. You know the one - when I pay off my mortgage and debts, be totally irresponsible and quit my day job and then run away…far, far away to somewhere warm.

Well, I know this might sound absolutely ridiculous, but the planning has begun. Put the date on your calendar – 2017. By end of year 2017, J and I plan to be living in…. (insert drum roll)…Ecuador. Exact location to be determined, but I can tell you that it will be somewhere on the coast of Ecuador.

There you have it. There’s no turning back now that it’s on paper. You, my Blogger friends, are the first to know our little secret. We don’t plan on telling other friends or family members anytime soon because let’s face it - 5 years is a long way off and there is no sense in stressing them out long before we have to.

Obviously, we plan on taking a few research trips before we make the actual commitment of purchasing a house or condo there. Hopefully, the first one will be in either November of this year or January of next year.

Over the next couple of days, I’m going to try and collect my thoughts and hope to share with you the reasoning behind our decision and over the next 5 years, I plan on sharing our journey with you. I hope you stick around and enjoy the adventure…

I’ve already done a lot of research and soul searching (sounds lame, I know), but the time has come to stop dreaming about it and actually begin to put the plan into action. You’re probably thinking that I’ve totally lost it and perhaps I have, but that’s how I roll…

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” - Walt Disney

Warning: The Following May Be Disturbing to Some Readers...And Hilarious To Others...

2012-01-05T19:49:00.000-05:00

I’m trying to get back into the swing of blogging on a more frequent basis. The Internet Nazis have Blogger, Facebook and all other remotely entertaining websites blocked from my mouse clicks and view – including The Weather Network I might add. Not that The Weather Network is entertaining, but I do consider it a bit of a necessity and regardless of my needs, it’s a blocked site too. So, as I have ideas (not often), I’m taking the time out of my busy schedule trying not to dislike my co-workers to prepare posts, with a view to posting them at a later time or date.

Anyhow, as I was sitting in my office (waiting for the clock to strike 5:00), I remembered a story I needed to share with you. It involves The Boy’s new(ish) cat. The cat’s actual name is Apollo (not our choice) – we prefer to call him Cat, Cringer, The Doctor or Bob . Actually, we call him anything that comes to mind at the moment. Now don’t worry, he doesn’t come to any of them, so we aren’t really confusing him any more than he already is. He’s not the smartest cat I’ve seen – he tends to run into walls, falls off things easily and paws at the air for no apparent reason. Nonetheless, he entertains us.

So imagine my dismay when we are in holidays in route to the airport in Hawaii and we receive a text from The Boy, which goes as follows:

The Boy: It’s a good thing you guys are coming home today.

Me: Why? Do you miss us?

The Boy: Ummm no. Not really. Well, yes. I guess. Anyhow, there is something seriously wrong with my cat. I think we are going to have to take him to the vet.

Me: Okay. What’s wrong? Did he eat something he shouldn’t have?

The Boy: I don’t think so. He’s just acting really weird and he’s hasn’t moved in like 20 minutes. He just lying under my desk stiff legged.

Me: Is he breathing?

The Boy: Yeah. I checked.

Me: Well, I can’t do anything from here. Just keep an eye on him and if you think something is seriously wrong, you’ll have to take him to the vet yourself.

The Boy: Okay. I’ll watch him.

All I can think to myself is that the cat likely got into something he shouldn’t have or The Boy fed him too many Cheerios.

As we are nearing our exit on the highway, I receive another text from The Boy which goes:

The Boy: I think I figured out what’s wrong with my cat. About an hour ago he was under my desk playing and all of a sudden I heard him howl really loud and then he bounced across the room, hit the wall and immediately went stiff legged and started twitching. Turns out – he must have electrocuted himself because my lamp cord under the desk has been entirely chewed through.

Well, it was at this point – we missed our exit to the airport because I was in fits of laughter and couldn’t tell J where he needed to go. We actually missed the next two exits because I was still laughing so hard with the imagery of cat, bouncing across the wall like a ping pong ball.

Now before you call PETA on me, let me say…other than his unquenchable thirst for the next 3 days and his impulsive licking of his shoulder, the cat is fine. The lamp on the other hand was a total write off.

Happy Belated New Year - Random Thoughts...

2012-01-04T08:26:00.000-05:00

So, I had originally prepared this post on January 2nd; however due to unforeseen circumstances, couldn't get around to posting it until today...better late than never.

It’s January 2^nd and I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I’m miserable. I can honestly say, I’m the grumpiest I’ve been all year.

For many, today is still a holiday, but for me, it’s the beginning of the first 5 day work-week I’ve had in awhile. That’s obviously the root of some of my misery.

A great Christmas and New Year’s was had by everyone in our household. At least, everyone appeared to have been having a good time, but then again – some days, it’s hard to tell what’s real and what’s sugar induced bliss.

I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions for this upcoming year. I don’t have the greatest of self-control when it comes to things I want to do and things I want to eat, so I refuse to set myself up for eventual failure. Instead, I plan on “trying” new things…like “trying” to eat cooked vegetables at least one a week, “trying” not to dislike my co-workers on a daily basis, “trying” to spend less and save more and “trying” to get back to an exercise routine. It’s not considered a failure as long as you’ve tried (at least that’s my rationale).

What started out as a casual visit to my in-laws yesterday; almost turned into an argument of epic proportions. You see, my MIL is a little high strung and worries about things she shouldn’t and things can’t control – to the point of making everyone around her crazy. Normally I can manage her high-strung-ed-ness, but yesterday was not one of those days. She was meddling where she didn’t belong and I had to say something. Long story short – when I received a kick from J under the table, I knew it was time to leave before any further damage was done. On the upside, I’m still in her good books from taking her to Hawaii, so I figure I probably have a couple of more “get out of jail free cards” left. Rest assured, at this pace, it won’t take long to use them up.

It’s a blizzard here today and there you have it… the remaining piece of my misery puzzle is now in place…

Update: Thanks to the lovely blizzard we had on Monday, on the way home on the most miserable day of 2012, my car and I ended up going into the ditch and wound up in a farmer's field. I obviously had to get towed out and then subsequent car repairs, ensued yesterday - which included mud removal from the undercarriage of my car, tire repairs, alignment, etc. On the upside, I'm okay, but I am now $460 poorer. The way I see it, the remainder of 2012 can only get better...

Does anyone know the protocol surrounding “Happy New Year” wishes? I personally feel that by the end of the week, we should be moving on, unless of course you celebrate Chinese New Year…

Anyhow…Happy Belated New Year…

Merry Christmas, Joxieux Noel, Feliz Navidad, Happy Holidays...

2011-12-24T15:10:00.000-05:00

May you, your family and friends have a very Merry Christmas or if you prefer, Joxieux, Feliz Navidad or Happy Holidays!

Just Thinking About It...

2011-12-17T19:23:00.000-05:00

Well, I've been back from Hawaii for over a week now and last week was a whirlwind. The other two ladies in the legal department are out until the New Year with pneumonia, so that has left me doing the work of three people and that itself hasn't left me much time for anything - especially not blogging or Christmas stuff.

I guess it was Wednesday when it dawned on me that Christmas was less than two weeks away. Here it is now Saturday and I'm still just thinking about Christmas shopping.

I know I'll pull it together before it actually gets here, but honestly, I'd rather be back at the beach...(which I'll report on in detail later)...

Bon Voyage...

2011-12-01T13:33:00.000-05:00

Don't get excited, I'm not leaving permanently, just departing on a little vacation to Hawaii. I hope to actually have some time stop in and say hello. See you soon!

Disclaimers Galore...

2011-11-21T09:00:00.001-05:00

So here I am…in body and spirit. I know it’s been awhile since I’ve been around and you’re probably saying to yourself “who cares”. Well, I’m back to entertain (or not)…at least for today.

I have lots of excuses as to where I’ve been, but the biggest issues in my life right now are the fact that during the day work has been hectic and in the evening I’ve been busy preparing for my Christmas jewelry show next weekend and since Santa hasn’t provided me with any sweatshop elves, I’ve been on my own.

So, now that I done with the whining part, let’s get on with the cheesiness…

I was busily working away on some stuff here at work and needed to do a little research on some “legal” disclaimers, when I happened upon this great time-wasting website (www.coolsig.com). Here are some of my favorite disclaimers…I wonder if anyone will notice when I imbed them within the fine print…

Government Warning: We are corrupt and have sold out to corporate interest. Do not listen to our advice.

My opinion is neither copyrighted nor trademarked, and it's price competitive. If you like, I'll trade for one of yours.

None of the ideas expressed above are actually mine. They are told to me by Luthor and Ferdinand, the five inch tall space aliens who live under my desk. In return for these ideas, I have given them permission to eat any dust bunnies they may find under there.

WARNING: I cannot be held responsible for the above, as apparently my cats have learned how to type.

IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the individual addressee(s) named above and may contain information that is confidential privileged or unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no sense of humor or irrational religious beliefs. If you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination, distribution or copying of this email is not authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and constitutes an irritating social fauxpas. No animals were harmed in the transmission of this email, although the mutt next door is living on borrowed time, let me tell you.

The opinions expressed herein are not necessarily those of my employer, not necessarily mine, and probably not necessary.

Too Boring To Blog About It...

2011-11-11T16:02:00.000-05:00

That's it...nothing going on, so I won't bother you with the drivel.In other boring news...it snowed today and with that my life is on the downslide until May.On that happy note - have a GREAT weekend!

Canadian Fashion Attire...a repost...

2011-11-02T19:55:00.002-04:00

So, in response to the question - what is a toque? Here is a repost I had done awhile back about Canadian fashion attire...enjoy the beauty of it all....(jealous aren't you?)

There is no escaping the crap that is a Canadian winter and there is no denying the fact that – I am a terrible Canadian. I detest winter so much that I daydream that the Canadian government would realize how terrible of a Canadian I actually am, kick me out of the country, ban me for life from watching hockey and revoke my god-given right to wear a toque or a dickey for the rest of my life.
For those not familiar with Canadianisms a toque is a hat, which is most likely made of wool, knitted in a hideous pattern and colors and perhaps with a baseball size tassel adorning the top. These wonderful items are worn with pride, pulled down as far as possible, to cover your ears and most of your eyebrows, essentially hiding the identity of the wearer. In honesty, there is no pride in wearing this item; they are actually a cold weather necessity, which doubles as a disguise.

A dickey is a turtle-neck sweater without the sweater – just the neck and about an inch or two of fabric surrounding the base of the neck. I think the dickey originated on Christmas Eve and legend has it that the inventor of the dickey was an elderly grandma, too drunk on Christmas cheer to finish the wonderful turtle neck sweater she had set out to knit in time for gifting on Christmas morning.

The rest is fashion history; although fashion is not an essential part of a Canadian winter – survival is and if you want to survive, you better adorn these Canadian essentials.

Ten Signs...

2011-11-01T19:00:00.000-04:00

I realize it’s technically not winter yet, but I’m fed up already and I haven’t even seen a snowflake yet.

With only one month remaining until I vacate this country for the sunny south, here’s my top 10 list which might indicate you also need a vacation to a sunny, warm destination…

1. “Wind chill” is suddenly the new catch phrase.

2. You go to work in the dark and you come home in the dark.

3. It’s the first day of November and you have appointment to have your snow tires put on.

4. It’s the first day of November and Christmas has thrown up all over the mall.

5. It’s the first day of November and Vegas bookies have started taking bets on when the first Christmas carol will be played on the radio.

6. You’ve become emotionally attached to flannel sheets and electric blankets.

7. The space heater under your desk hasn’t been turned off since September.

8. You’ve had to go on a scavenger hunt to find your ice scraper, winter boots, mittens and toque (let me know if I have to explain that one).

9. You’ve switched from drinking margaritas to spiced rum and warm cider, with an extra hint of spiced rum.

10. Your legs have become so furry; your spouse thinks he’s sleeping with a Yeti.

There you have it. It’s time for a getaway…

Exhausted...

2011-10-18T10:00:00.003-04:00

I’m tired today. I’m tired a lot lately and I can’t explain why.

I usually get a decent night’s sleep – some are obviously better than others, but for the most part I get a solid 8 hours per night. Even with that much sleep, I still wake up feeling drained and worn out.

I know my current weight probably has something to do with this feeling of exhaustion, but honestly I’m too tired to even think about exercising in the evening. It’s a vicious circle – I’m too tired to exercise, but the excess weight is causing me to be too tired to do anything else with my life.

I’ve always required more sleep than the average person, but unless my work is going to start sanctioning afternoon naps, I’ve got to do something about my current state of exhaustion or else I might find myself without a job and then I’ll have plenty of nap time on my hands.

NOTE: As I type this, all I can think about is crawling under my desk and pretending to be George Costanza for awhile. If only, I could lie my head down….for just…a little...while….zzzzzzzzzzz*snore*zzzzzzzzzzzz

How you doin?

2011-10-13T19:45:00.000-04:00

Wow, it’s Thursday already. I guess that’s what you can expect when Monday is a holiday and then Tuesday was a “sick” day and Wednesday was a catch up day at work from my “sick” day and then suddenly Thursday is upon me and it’s also pay day! Tomorrow is Friday and then it’s the weekend. Oh Yeah!!! *insert random dancing here*

Thanksgiving with my dad was fantastic. We had a great time visiting and the weather was beyond anything we can typically expect in Canada this time of year. I certainly didn’t expect to be wearing shorts and t-shirts all weekend. I actually had to shave my legs in October – wow!

As with any holiday, the downside is the extra tonnage that creeps upon my thighs while I’m sleeping. I can’t explain it – I purposely avoided regular beer this weekend. Could it possibly have been the multiple pieces of pumpkin pie with whipped cream? Nahhh…not a chance seeing how pumpkin is a vegetable…

It seems that the chance of seasons has brought us some unwanted visitors at work. We seem to be experiencing a snake infestation. Apparently baby snakes are being found randomly throughout the building. On last count, there have been 5 found. I’m not necessarily afraid of them, but I certainly don’t want them slithering their way into my purse. Nothing good could become of that…except screaming and lots of swearing. Oh wait, that’s just a regular day at the office.

And in old news…

J got a new job a couple of weeks ago, but hasn’t started it yet. When he gave his 2 week working notice, his old company told him his services were no longer required and that he didn’t have to come into work anymore. Needless to say; J was ecstatic by that turn of events because by law, they had to pay him for the 2 weeks that he would have otherwise worked, plus any vacation pay he didn’t use. So, not only has been enjoying a 3 week vacation before his new job starts, he also gets paid for 4 weeks.

The Boy talked us into a new pet. Well he talked me into a new pet and I surprised it on J. The Boy and I are a great team and J didn’t know what the hell happened. The Boy understood that between his school and job demands a puppy was not feasible, so we went to the local animal shelter and picked out a 7 month old kitten. On the day we brought him home, he was also neutered, so I’m not sure what traumatized him more – a new home or the loss of his man jewels. Pictures to follow…

I had lunch with an old co-worker a couple of weeks ago. Seeing her reminded me how much I miss my old co-workers. I miss their personalities the most and the laughs we used to share. No one laughs at this new place. I think they’ve forgotten how to enjoy life. In my opinion, this job is just a job that pays the bills and puts some money in the bank. I work to live, not live to work. Too bad my current co-workers missed that memo.

So there you have it – my life in a nutshell (or perhaps pie shell). What’s be happening with you?

Gobble, Gobble...

2011-10-07T14:19:00.000-04:00

It's Canadian Thanksgiving on Monday here in Canada and that means:A long weekend;My dad is in town visiting. I haven't seen him in 3D in over 3 years, so I'm excited for that;Fantastic weather. Sunny and warm is what the weather people are saying;Local county fair should make for some great junk food fixins; and of course...Turkey and all the trimmings. On Tuesday, I will commence the self-loathing but until then...have a fantastic weekend!

Living The Dream…Somewhere in an Alternate Reality…

2011-10-05T19:46:00.000-04:00

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my future. Not necessarily next week or next month, but where I’ll be in 10 years from now.

At present, I’m working towards the goal of being debt and mortgage free in about 6 years, but then what? I certainly won’t be able to retire at that time because I won’t have any substantial savings in which to support myself.

After the debt free goal has been attained, I still plan to buy a vacation property in the Caribbean, but I’ll only be able to enjoy a couple of times per year because I’ll still have to work to pay for the vacation home.

It would be fantastic if I could simply work in the Caribbean, but my options for employment will be hindered by the whole work visa issue.

Another option I’ve been toying with to avoid the whole work visa issue is to simply buy an existing business in the Caribbean. But what business could I possibly be qualified to run, that would make me enough money to live and also enjoy? Hmmm, a restaurant, a B&B, a hostel, a dive shop? The opportunities and my dreams are endless, but my pocketbook isn’t.

I need to stop whining and be thankful for what I have and what I'm able to do, but right now, I’m consumed with this dream of running away and living the life in the sun, but unfortunately reality can run faster and tends to catch up with me.

Reality stinks…

Yep, I've Lost It....

2011-09-22T19:44:00.000-04:00

The things I can come up with in a long, boring meeting…sometimes I amaze myself (and not in a good way).

No words of wisdom, no words of wit.

Instead there’s boredom and here I sit.

While contemplating a witty blog, I begin to feel my arteries clog.

I dream of things, I dream of places, I easily picture those bloggy faces.

To meet, to greet, to dance in the street.

Perhaps one day we’ll say hello, but until then I have to go.

Back to work, back to the grind, back to sit on my be-hind.

Stupid Travel Complaints...

2011-09-20T19:08:00.000-04:00

This article recently appeared in one of our local newspapers. I just had to share...enjoy!

A recent survey from Thomas Cook and the Association of British Travel Agents revealed 20 of the most ridiculous complaints by holiday-makers made to their travel agent.

1. “I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts.”

2. “It’s lazy of the local shopkeepers to close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during ‘siesta’ time — this should be banned.”

3. “On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don’t like spicy food at all.”

4. “We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.”

5. A tourist at a top African Game Lodge overlooking a water hole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel “inadequate.”

6. A woman threatened to call police after claiming that she’d been locked in her hotel room by staff. In fact, she had mistaken the “do not disturb” sign on the back of the door as a warning to remain in the room.

7. “The beach was too sandy.”

8. “We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure.Your brochure shows the sand as yellow but it was white.”

9. A guest at a Novotel in Australia complained his soup was too thick and strong. He was inadvertently slurping the gravy at the time.

10. “Topless sunbathing on the beach should be banned. The holiday was ruined as my husband spent all day looking at other women.”

11. “We bought ‘Ray-Ban’ sunglasses for five euros from a street trader, only to find out they were fake.”

12. “No one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.”

13. “It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England, it only took the Americans three hours to get home.”

14. “I compared the size of our one-bedroom apartment to our friends’ three-bedroom apartment and ours was significantly smaller.”

15. “The brochure stated: ‘No hairdressers at the accommodation.’ We’re trainee hairdressers — will we be OK staying there?”

16. “There are too many Spanish people. The receptionist speaks Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners now live abroad.”

17. “We had to queue outside with no air conditioning.”

18. “It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel.”

19. “I was bitten by a mosquito, no-one said they could bite.”

20. “My fiancé and I booked a twin-bedded room but we were placed in a double-bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.”

September Recap to Date...

2011-09-08T20:22:00.000-04:00

The weather this past weekend (yes, I realize that was almost a week ago) was not nice – at all. It was either raining or when it wasn’t raining, it was so cold that pants and a long-sleeved shirt were required.

With the arrival of colder weather, cold and flu season has also arrived. There are two people in the vicinity of my office that are sick. I cannot stand the sound of someone sniffling and not blowing their nose. “Gross” is all I have to say about that…

My father-in-law held a yard sale this past weekend (in between when it wasn’t raining). I swear that man could sell air conditioners to Eskimos. We had taken him a small amount of “junk” that had been lying around our basement for years to sell on our behalf and he conveniently made us a nice $400. Have I said how much I love than man? I love him even more since he didn’t ask for a commission.

My new found wealthy feeling didn’t last long… On my way into work on Tuesday, I had a rock from a passing dump truck land on my windshield. I now have a nice golf ball sized “chip” in my windshield which will need to be replaced before winter because once the cold weather arrives in will spread and crack in a million different directions. Argh…

The Boy has started commuting with me this week. I’ve commuted alone for the past 20 years, so having another person with me will require some adjustment. All I can say is that it’s a good thing he’s entertaining, otherwise his constant chatter might drive me over the edge.

With The Boy starting school, his complaining has already started and so has his stressing about his workload.

The Boy: “Between work, commuting to school and school, I just don’t know how I’m going to keep up. I’m tired all the time.”

Me: “Welcome to the real world.”

The Boy: “That’s all the words of wisdom you have?”

Me: “At the moment, that’s all the words of wisdom I have energy for. I’m tired. I work – remember?”

The Boy: “Fair enough.”

My boss was not in the office today. Turns out – he was off for a colonoscopy. I’m sure there’s a joke in there somewhere, but I’m not feeling witty enough to find it.

Have a great night folks...

Always Wear Clean Underwear and Drink Plenty of Fluids….

2011-09-04T19:01:00.000-04:00

The Boy goes back to school in a couple of days. I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it in the past, but he’s decided on another course change for the upcoming school year. As a matter of fact, he’s decided on an entirely different approach. This year he plans on living at home and attending college in the same city as where I work, so he will be able to commute with me. The benefit of this is that, he’ll save a ton of money on housing and I’ll be able to ensure he’s getting the support he needs to make this year count (read…I’ll be nagging him so bad, he won’t have any other choice than to get his shit together).

This year, he’s decided on Culinary Management, which is a fancy way of saying Chef Training as his program of choice and so far he seems committed to it. He’s even gone so far as getting a second job at local catering company/deli/butcher shop in order to gain some hands-on experience in the culinary field. It’s only been 6 weeks, but so far NO complaints have been heard (even with the 12 hour weekend shifts). I might be overly optimistic, but maybe a summer can really make a difference in the maturity level of a boy. Fingers crossed.

I may have spoken too soon about the maturity thing. Last Sunday night, we wound up in emergency room because The Boy was experiencing an extreme rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath, pain in his lower back and excessive body shakes. His diagnosis – dehydration. Even though he is now legally able to drink and drive a car…his mommy obviously needs to remind him to drink plenty of water every day. He’s slowly starting to feel better, but I’m shocked at how much the dehydration took out of him. Silly Boy…he took about 5 years off my life.

The Boy’s only observation from his hospital visit. “They really need to do something about their ceilings – they were an ugly color and terrifyingly dingy.”

I need a vacation…or some valium…either will do nicely.

Tomato, Toe-ma-toe

2011-08-25T19:32:00.000-04:00

No matter how you pronounce it – they are delicious!

Yes, things are sooooo boring in my life at the moment that I’m actually writing about tomatoes.

Are they a fruit or vegetable? Friend or foe? Who cares? I love them.

Tomatoes are now “in season” here in Canada and I’m lucky to live in the heart of farm country, with easy access to fresh local produce. I eat at least one tomato at every meal and know it’s time to cut back on the tomatoes when I start getting canker sores in my mouth from all of the acid. Yes, I love them that much…

I actually consider myself a bit of a tomato connoisseur and can usually tell how good they will be by smell alone. Yes, I admittedly sniff my way through the produce department. Loser? Ummm, yes. But you probably already figured that out already by this post alone.

I’m off…to make a bacon and tomato sandwich. Hopefully things pick up or else my next post might be about french fries and gravy (again)…

Are Random Thoughts Only Allowed on Tuesdays?

2011-08-18T20:13:00.001-04:00

I hope not because here we go…

Summer is fast escaping my grasp. All I’m hearing about these days - how chilly the nights are becoming, back to school shopping advertisements are everywhere, soon the first frost will arrive…BLAH, BLAH, BLAH… When it comes to my summer – I’m a glass half full sort of girl. If you’re not on the same page as me, you need to stay the hell away or shut the hell up because you’re stressing me out.

J and I are going “camping” with friends this weekend. I use the phrase “camping” loosely because we are actually staying in a trailer (with air conditioning and television) in a trailer park (with a pool). I’d honestly prefer to rough-it, in a tent in the woods with no modern amenities or patio lanterns. Trailer camping is not my version of camping. I loathe the idea. It’s tacky and unappealing. What was I thinking? Oh yeah, apparently I wasn’t…

My boss is on holidays for the next couple of weeks. One would think that would make for an easy time of things for me (long lunches, skipping out early), but such is not the case. You see, when he’s away – the President and everyone else in our company turns to me for all their legal needs and if their legal needs occur at the end of the day or over lunch – I’m stuck. Oh well, I guess that’s why I get paid the “big bucks”. HA! I actually laughed out loud over that one.

I told you a couple of weeks ago about my long-term “move to the Caribbean plan”. I’m still planning on moving somewhere south, but I’ve started to look at properties in Central and South America as well. When I say “look at”, I mean peruse the online listings and then proceed to get depressed because I can’t move now. I’m expecting instant gratification, but I know it’s going to take some time.

Anyhow I’ve discovered, ocean front properties in Ecuador are extremely cheap. J has his heart set on living in Bonaire, but I’m considering all options…all options that will get me to where I want to be sooner (read: all cheap options). I’m also considering selling a kidney or renting out my womb to raise some cash. Anyone know the going rates for those sorts of things?

J’s having a tough time at work again with his turd of a boss. J is an extremely patient person, but over the past 7 years, his boss has gotten the better of him and the whole situation has become a powder keg. If it wasn’t for our “long term plan”, J would have punched him in the face by now and walked out. I’ve told J not to let the plan stop him from quitting – especially when what his boss does amounts to tyranny and verbal harassment – not just to J, but all of his employees. J won’t quit – he’s too worried about screwing up the timeline of the plan. What he fails to realize is that if the stress keeps getting to him – he won’t be around long enough to enjoy the plan because he’s going to drop dead from stress and then I’ll have no choice than to find a younger substitute. I’ve told him that, but that doesn’t faze him either.

Our itinerary for our Philippines trip has been finalized, which is pretty exciting. Only 6 months, 28 days left to go! The downside – I’m still paying for it and will be for the next 6 months. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY need to make more money.

So with that said…I’d better get back to it…

Not Much Going On...

2011-08-14T18:59:00.000-04:00

I know I've been a bit MIA lately, but life is still out of hand. Summer has been great, but I can honestly say, I don't think I've done much.

Some days have been spent at the beach...

Some local scuba diving...

Some cloud watching...

Some sunsets...

Some wine on the beach, while watching the sunset...

Life's been uneventful, but all in all...good.

I've Developed an Addiction...

2011-07-27T20:08:00.000-04:00

For years, J had always managed our finances and has done a good job. With the usual exceptions of a mortgage payment, car payment and line of credit payment, we’ve managed to live relatively debt free, with money left over to go on holidays, buy toys, clothes, put money into savings, etc.

At the beginning of April, it was decided that I would start to look after our finances. The main reason for the changing of the guard – J didn’t have the time to commit to it since he was busy with his night course. I honestly think he grew tired of it and he grew tired of me questioning his banking methods.

So with that being said, I’ve been in charge and for better or worse - I’ve developed an addiction to analyzing, budgeting, planning, cutting back on spending and finding savings where I can.

We had a loosey-goosey budget before, but after we made it, we never really paid much attention to it. Now, I’m analyzing everything and am SHOCKED, no HORRIFIED at how much we spend monthly on everything – groceries and gas in particular. I can only do so much about the gas factor because I do commute to my job and I already drive an economical vehicle, but I can do something about our grocery bills – hence part of the reason for a bread maker purchase. We are a big bread eating family and by simply making our own bread every week, we will save close to $500 annually. Now, I just need to do a better job at meal planning and flyer shopping and I should be able to reduce the cost of groceries even more.

J is not so enthused about my new found excitement of finances because our whimsical spending has been drastically reduced. Before, if we wanted something, we simply went out and bought it with not so much as a second thought. Now, we save for it – what a concept! This has caused a bit of angst on both of our parts, but all and all…things are working out.

As part of our new financial strategy, I’m doubling up our weekly mortgage payments and the plan is to be mortgage free in 3.9 years, completely debt free in 6 years, with a vacation/rental home purchase in the Caribbean by year 7 or 8. I will then need to start over because I plan on using my house here as collateral for the one in the sunny south, so I guess when all is said and done, I won’t technically be debt free until…who knows…(I haven’t gotten that far yet).

Rest assured, I’m not compromising on my vacations. I’m still diligently saving for those. After the Philippines in March, we may cut back to one a year…at least that’s the plan. What the hell did I just say? Who am I kidding?

I’ll be honest, that’s unlikely to happen, but it’s nice to think that I could do it...if I wanted to...but if I did, J and I might have to divorce and that’s likely to cost a whole lot more than another vacation…

Aliens May Have Something To Do With It....Or Not...

2011-07-26T07:00:00.001-04:00

I wish I could tell you that my absence from the blogosphere was a result of being abducted by aliens or that I won the lottery and have been busy traveling the world or because I became a swim suit model and my photo shoots have kept me too busy.

Nope, none of the above has occurred. I know…I’m disappointed too (especially the swim suit model gig). Although I’m sure I’ve been recently visited by aliens and they have managed to manipulate my brain and made me a lazy-ass couch potato (more so than usual that is).

I have no excuses – I’ve just ran out of creative steam. Normally the summer months rejuvenate me, but sadly that’s not been the case this year.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying summer, the sunshine, the heat, the humidity. I just have nothing to show for it, except maybe a nice tan and some sun-streaked hair. I don’t even have memories to go along with the tan, because I’ve done nothing memorable. No summer travels, no scuba diving, no movies, no memorable parties. Nothing…

The most exciting thing I’ve done so far this summer…I bought a bread maker. I know; it’s hard to contain yourself…that’s how I feel about it too – mass hysteria…

Don’t give up hope on me just yet….I’m sure I’ll do something spontaneous before the end of summer and when I do – you’ll be the first to know about it. I do need a new toaster…eeek (insert squeal of joy)!

Betcha Thought I Crawled Under a Rock…

2011-07-07T19:56:00.000-04:00

Sorry to disappoint, but such is not the case. I’m somewhat back, not that I was ever really gone – I just took a little break from technology. Rest assured, I was still following what you had to say, I was just too lazy to comment - sorry.

So, what’s new? Hmmm, in my world, let’s see…

In case, you are the one that had crawled under a rock - the Royal Newlyweds are visiting Canada. As much as I’ve tried not to get sucked into the maelstrom, I’m oddly fascinated by the phenomenon that is our monarchy. Kate and William certainly have more pizzazz than the older royals.

J and The Boy are still driving me crazy on a daily basis. Nothing in particular stands out, but I guarantee that a day does not go by when I don’t contemplate running away from home.

We went to the zoo last weekend. We’ve been before and I was impressed before, but this time, I was left feeling disappointed. I’m not typically a PETA or Greenpeace supporter, but at the end of this visit I would have gladly signed a petition, calling for change at the zoo. The displays were run down, some containing “garbage” (cardboard boxes, plastic buckets, etc) intended to keep the orangutans amused, the water moat surrounding the orangutans was filled with floating garbage and green with algae, a number of the outdoor displays did not have drinking facilities for the animals. It’s summer, it’s hot and it’s not like the animals can wander off and search for water.

Sorry in advance. I do not intend to offend anyone with small children, but I would gladly pay extra to attend an “adults only day” at the zoo. I can say that because I’ve had a small child, I’ve pulled a wagon around the zoo with a screaming child inside and now, I can say that the zoo would be better if it had “adults only days”. Just saying…

The Boy turns 19 next week. With turning 19, he will be of legal age to drink and gamble at a casino. At 18 he could purchase lottery tickets and gamble at the horse races. I’m not sure why he needed to wait until 19 to gamble at a casino, unless it’s because they serve alcohol there. Wait, they serve alcohol at the horse races. Yeah, I don’t get the rationale behind that one either.

I’ve been tasked with putting a “social media policy” together for work, as well as doing research on creating a Facebook page and setting up a Twitter account for our company. This is causing me great problems, as I CANNOT get access to Facebook in order to do the research or to Twitter to set up an account and IT won’t give me access because it goes against our internet policy. I’m navigating the red tape now. Talk about ass-hats.

On Saturday, a couple of my friends are holding a “renovation is complete” house party. It starts at 3:00, but I suspect that by the time we get there at 3:15, everyone will be well on their way to drunken oblivion. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a prude and I can certainly hold my own, but their drunken know-it-all ramblings tend to test my patience. Someone better stay sober enough long enough to make sure I get served supper or else…

That’s been my life in a nutshell…still crazy…still random…

Happy Independence Day!!!

2011-07-04T20:06:00.000-04:00

I hope you had a fantastic holiday weekend...I know I did. I also had a long weekend with our Canada Day being on Friday.

Still The One...

2011-06-24T07:00:00.001-04:00

Today is my (and J's) 22nd wedding anniversary. I can't believe it's been that long. Somedays, it literally feels like a lifetime of hard work and then there are days when it only seems like yesterday.

The lyrics to this song pretty much say it all …

STILL THE ONE (Orleans)

We've been together since way back when
Sometimes I never want to see you again
But I want you to know, after all these years
You're still the one I want whisperin' in my ear

You're still the one I want to talk to in bed
Still the one that turns my head
We're still having fun, and you're still the one

I looked at your face every day
But I never saw it 'til I went away
When winter came, I just wanted to go
Deep in the desert, I longed for the snow

You're still the one that makes me laugh
Still the one that's my better half
We're still having fun, and you're still the one

You're still the one that makes me strong
Still the one I want to take along
We're still having fun, and you're still the one

Changing, our love is going gold
Even though we grow old, it grows new

You're still the one that I love to touch
Still the one and I can't get enough
We're still having fun, and you're still the one

You're still the one who can scratch my itch
Still the one and I wouldn't switch
We're still having fun, and you're still the one

You are still the one that makes me shout
Still the one that I dream about
We're still having fun, and you're still the one...

Happy Anniversary J.

Tired...Maybe Cranky Too...

2011-06-21T19:52:00.000-04:00

Does anyone else get tired of giving? Giving their time, their knowledge, their support, and even to a certain extent, their friendship or their love?

Normally I don’t mind giving, but lately - I’m tired of it. I’m tired of being the problem solver, the peacekeeper, the caregiver. I’m tired of being pulled in a million directions and in general, I’m just tired.

I just want to be left the hell alone, so that I can recharge myself. I don’t mean to sound selfish or bitter, but I don’t really care. I’m also tired of being politically correct.

Now, that the bitterness is out of the way – I’m excited about an award I received last week from R. Jacob Post. Stay tuned for details….they will be forthcoming.

At Least I Had Someone To Tell Dirty Jokes To...

2011-06-15T19:54:00.000-04:00

I’m feeling in a bit of a “mood” today and I can’t put my finger on the cause. I just know I’m feeling “off”.

I like my new job, but I miss the people from my boring old job.

I miss my old boss – at least we laughed about things.

I miss some of my old co-workers – especially the one that would bake me cookies.

I miss being able to surf the internet. Oh, how I miss the internet (insert longing sigh).

Yes, I’m well aware how much I complained about that old job and about having nothing to do, but at least I had people to talk to, to laugh with, commiserate with and to make fun of.

Here, there is no one. I’ve been here over 6 months and not a single person has grown on me yet. I’ve tried to engage them, but to no avail.

I don’t know how to explain it, but they’re an odd bunch. We have absolutely nothing in common, but that’s not what makes them odd. Maybe it’s because they are significantly older than my previous co-workers and they act it - stuffy, snobby, uptight and boring. Life is too short to take it so seriously, but I don’t think they received that life memo.

Oh well, I’ll survive. I don’t come to work to make friends, I come to earn my paycheck and with my hefty paycheck, I can buy me some new friends. Ha! Who am I kidding? Even if I wanted to, I couldn't even afford an "inflatable friend"...

Random Thoughts - The Uncool, Soul-Sucking Edition...

2011-06-14T07:00:00.000-04:00

The deed is done – J and I have booked our trip to Hawaii in December and will be bringing along an entourage with us - consisting of my in-laws, my 27 year old niece and The Boy. I still suspect my sister-in-law from Ireland and her husband will end up joining us there.

Because of the cheap flight prices, we couldn’t get everyone on the same flights, so The Boy and my niece are travelling separately, but together with each other. They have two stopovers and limited time in between flight changes. Technically they are adults and I shouldn’t worry, but when two easily distracted people get together, it could mean chaos.

The trip should be okay – J’s mom is over-the-top excited and has started to pack already. She is even talking about trying to snorkel. This trip will earn us at least 3 get out of jail free cards from future family functions. Whoo hooo!

Never in my life have I had to drive a minivan, but this trip will be a first. No offense to those of you that drive minivans, but I find them disturbing and uncool. Yes I said it – uncool…

I’m actually writing this post on Monday at work because I am once again bored out of my skull. How does this keep happening to me? I won’t be jumping ship on this one …I’ll ride the boredom train for awhile and see where it brings me. If it wasn’t for the internet Nazis banning my freedom of surfing the world wide web, I wouldn’t be complaining (as much)…

We have a wedding to go to this weekend. It’s the daughter of a couple of our scuba-diving friends. I haven’t been to a wedding in at least 4 years. What’s the going rate one should spend on a wedding present or monetary gift?

I had to go to the passport office today and get The Boy’s passport renewed. What a depressing, painful soul-sucking experience that I had to pay $87 for. I could have went to the emergency walk-in-clinic for free and had the same experience.

On my way walking to the passport office from the parking lot, I was waved over by some woman trying to get me to give them $10 so they could phone their mother-in-law. First, when did a phone call cost $10 and second, who actually would pay $10 to call their mother-in-law?

So, I’ve jumped on the “gotta get in shape, stop eating like a pig, get off the couch, stop buying larger sizes” bandwagon again. It’s only been 8 hours, but I think I’m gonna win this time. Positive thinking…that’s what it’s all about…

Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot...

2011-06-08T19:50:00.000-04:00

The weather for this week has been hot and humid. The temperatures have been in the range of 95 to 104 with the humidity. I AM NOT complaining – I did enough of that from November to May. Instead, I’m embracing it.

We haven’t even turned on our air conditioning. As long as the nights are cooler, I don’t need A/C. I only need to know it’s there for when I do need it.

We have ceiling fans throughout our house, we have plenty of cold beverages in the refrigerator and ice in the freezer.

This is the way life’s forecast is supposed to be – sunny, hot with a chance of cold beverages in the evening…

Changing Destiny...

2011-06-07T20:21:00.000-04:00

What has become of us? All we do is scurry from one appointment to another, from one chore to another, from one day to another. We don’t stop to appreciate what’s around us, the seasons, each other. We rarely take time for ourselves and it seems we don’t even have enough time in the day to stop and breathe.

The Boy said to me this morning…”All I can think is how exhausted I am. I don’t have any time for anything and the most depressing part is…that’s the way my life will be forever.”

I was so shocked by that statement coming from someone so young and so inexperienced with the real world. I wish I could have disagreed with him. The only words of wisdom I could muster were “Don’t let your life get out of control now or you’ll never recover. You’re young enough to change your destiny.”

I wish I believed what I said to be true. As much as I like to believe we are in charge of our destiny, I’m becoming a doubter – at least for today. I’m still hopeful for tomorrow.

Damn You Conscience...

2011-06-01T20:20:00.000-04:00

So, know how I said that I wouldn’t be going on a vacation until my Philippines trip in March 2012? Well, it turns out that I lied - maybe. I know. I know – liar, liar, pants on fire….

BUT in my defense – I’m only thinking about going away because I'm getting an awesome deal on flights. I still can’t technically afford to go, but I’ll figure that out later. As a bonus, we are going over J’s birthday in December, so that means I won’t have to buy him a present – considering the trip will double as his present.

We are considering asking J’s parents if they want to go with us. This decision goes against both of our better judgments; however I’m not sure if the trip will be worse than the “guilt trip” they send us on every time we tell them were going away….

J’s mother’s famous line: ”Hmmm, it must be nice to travel. We just don’t have the experience to travel on our own. It would be nice if someone would offer to take us with them. Maybe it will happen before we are too old to travel or die – whichever comes first. *sigh*”

J has no problem ignoring her, but I can’t – I have a conscience. Only time will tell if I cave in and ask them to join us.

I cannot possibly face another winter without a getaway, but I’m not sure if there’s enough alcohol on the island to keep me tipsy enough to tolerate a week with J’s parents. Don’t get me wrong - I do love them to death, but maybe not after a week with them.

Random Thougts - Beward of Little Girls in Sundresses...

2011-05-30T19:54:00.000-04:00

My boss is still crazy – no doubt about it. He’s a make work kind of person and instead of just answering a question, he in return asks about three more. By carrying on with this circular questioning, he’s postponing actually having to focus on making a decision. I’m wise to his “stall tactics” and now, I’m managing to think 3 steps ahead and have the answers before he asks them. This drives him slightly more crazy than usual. If I can manage to push one person over the edge in a day, I’ve fulfilled my life’s goal. I LOVE my job…

Speaking of jobs – I had my 6 month review on Friday. It went as I suspected and I am now slightly richer with the modest raise that came along with passing my probationary period. I don’t consider this a big deal because according to the HR Manager – “Nobody gets fired from here, unless of course you feel the need to jump off the building naked.” Hmmm… that left me wondering if she was actually speaking from experience.

It's a good thing I'm getting my eyes checked next week. J, The Boy and I were out for a drive on the weekend and we were heading to our favorite beach. I saw what I thought was a little girl in a sundress playing along side the road with her dad, where is was busy working on something. I warn J to watch out for the little girl and there is a moment of silence...turns out the little girl was an orange traffic cone. Yeah, I'm not going to live that one down for a long time.

Does anyone watch House Hunters International or is it just a Canadian show? I love the premise of people looking for real estate in far off places. One day – I hope to do the same…

With all the good season finales wrapping up – I’m feeling at a loss. Soon to come is the second string line-up, which includes Wipe Out, Big Brother, America’s Got Talent and whatever other crappy programming TLC decides to throw at me (i.e. Toddlers in Tiaras). Maybe it’s a sign I need to get off the couch and do something productive with my spare time.

The Boy informs me that his buddy is trying to grow a Monkeytail Beard. WTH is that you ask? See below for your answer. I intend to make fun of his buddy on as many occasions as possible. Seriously is it not the most ridiculous thing you have seen so far this week?

Flowers, Snakes, Grape Jelly…It’s a Friggin Zoo…

2011-05-25T19:23:00.000-04:00

When I was last with you, it was Thursday and now it is Wednesday. Where did the week go?

So our weather here in Canada is still hit and miss – it’s been colder and wetter than usual and we seem to only be averaging 2 days of sunshine per week and these days usually occur during the week when I happen to be working.

Even with the poor weather, its lilac season here in the great white north. Lilacs are one of my favorite flowers and the bonus – they grow wild all over the place, which allows me to pick bunches and bunches of them. Unfortunately, they don’t last long but while they do, I enjoy every minute of their beautifulness.

There is a garter snake living in my flower garden. I’m not enthused with this new resident, but I can’t seem to convince J to relocate him for me before he turns into a man eater. So now, I’m forced to stomp, clomp and swing my shovel around like a wild woman before I venture into his “area”. I’m not really afraid of snakes, I just don’t want them to jump out at me or slither across my hand when I’m unsuspecting. J’s optimistic that the snake will move away on his own, but really that’s J’s way of saying “do it yourself if you want it done. I’m afraid of snakes”.

Speaking of the wild north, which is my back yard - we have been able to attract Baltimore Orioles to our deck. Now before I go any further, I should point out that firstly I’m not some crazy-ass birder that runs around with binoculars swinging from their neck while lurking in the bushes. I might on occasion lurk in the bushes, but that’s for other reasons entirely.

Anyhow, I do enjoy watching the birds if they happen across my living space. So, with that being said – we’ve lured the birds in using the most unlikely bird fare - grape jelly. Yup. A friend told of this trick a few years ago, but I’ll be honest – I’m a doubter or at least I was until this year. They can’t get enough of the stuff and in two weeks, the Baltimore Orioles have polished off two bottles of grape jelly. Now, I’ve got the birds hooked on grape jelly – their version of crack and must sustain their bottle a week habit.

We also have a chipmunk that has managed to decimate The Boy’s corn and carrot crop that he planted. I’m kind of pleased with that outcome because let’s be honest – it means less work for me in the long run.

On the other hand, I’m less than pleased with the rabbit that has wiped out all of the Echinacea plants in my flower garden. Echinacea is also a form of crack to critters, so I guess I’m really just enabling the majority of my problems.

Soon, you will see J and The Boy sitting in rocking chairs on the back deck with their shotguns waiting for the critter hunt to begin. I’ll be playing the banjo…

Spring Has Sprung...

2011-05-20T07:00:00.001-04:00

Spring is upon us and this is what I've found in my garden yesterday.

Have a great weekend! I'm super stoked - it's a long weekend here in Canada...whooo hooo!

Old News…The Mother’s Day Fiasco….

2011-05-16T19:49:00.000-04:00

I didn’t bother to blog about when it occurred because I was still pissed off about the situation. I’ve somewhat come to terms with it now, so here goes…

Mother’s Day isn’t overly important to me. I don’t expect to be showered with cards, gifts, or flowers. That’s not my style. What I was hoping for was a low-key breakfast with my boys at my favorite breakfast spot…Denny’s. That was not to be.

We arrived at Denny’s by 9:00 a.m. on Mother’s Day only to find that the parking lot was full and there was a line up out the door.

This in itself was surprising to me for a couple of reasons – (1) Denny’s is fairly new to Canada and doesn't have many hardcore followers like myself; and (2) This particular Denny’s is located at a truck stop on the highway – not the typical location you would expect a bunch of snobby, yuppy mothers to be any other day of the week, let alone on Mother’s Day.

The fact that these women and their families couldn’t otherwise be bothered to eat at a budget restaurant like Denny’s, but decided to slum it on Mother’s Day really got me fired up.

I know the reason why they were in my hood – their stupid family members didn’t bother to think ahead and make reservations at one of the best “Sunday Brunch Hot Spots” and instead wound up taking up space at Denny’s…my Denny’s.

After circling the parking lot in a rage (my rage), we decided to move on. We tried 2 other “less than 4 star spots”, but they too were beyond capacity with wayward mothers. Mother’s Day breakfast was turning out to be an epic disaster.

At this point, the perfect storm was brewing – I was beyond grumpy and hungry too. Admitting defeat was not an option – neither was McDonald’s.

Thank goodness Costco was close by…$1.99 hot dog and soda saved my Mother’s Day. Where else can a family of 3 eat for under $10.00 and leave with a 6 lb bag of Doritos? My redneck life is good…

My Boss is Bat Shit Crazy...

2011-05-13T13:56:00.000-04:00

Oh, and he's paranoid too. That's all I have to say.

Neglecting the Ones I Love...

2011-05-10T19:39:00.000-04:00

I haven’t dropped off the face of the earth – yet. I just can’t keep up and there are many things in my life that are being neglected.

This Blog – I love blogging, but I haven’t been able to come up with anything interesting or intriguing to say. Blogger and Gmail has been completely blocked from my work computer, so this makes it extremely difficult to blog or even read blogs. By the time evening comes along, I have a million other things to do at home and blogging hasn’t made its way up the list. It frustrates me and I feel like I’ve failed miserably at something that I enjoy doing. My apologies to everyone…

Exercise – What is that? Does the hour I spend in physiotherapy for my sore neck each week count? It’s been at least 3 weeks since I’ve worked out. Not good…

Me – Let’s see – I need to get back to eating healthy. I need a haircut, a pedicure, a manicure, a facial. I need to make an eye appointment, a dentist appointment and a doctor’s appointment. As you can see, I’m overdue for my spring tune-up….oh, and my car needs an oil change too.

My Wardrobe – It’s May and I’m still wearing winter stuff. I also need some new shoes, new sandals, a new purse and a new outfit for a wedding I’m going to in June.

My House – I don’t even know where to begin on this one…windows, curtains and blinds need to be washed, floors need to be scrubbed, closets need to be cleaned and that’s just the bare minimum.

My Yard – Thank goodness for J and The Boy. They’ve done a lot of the outside spring stuff, but I still like to control certain outdoor chores - my perennial gardens need some extra attention and my deck needs to be stained.

My Business – Once again, I’m behind with everything on this – my inventory is low, my supplies are strewn about my living room, my website needs to be updated, my accounts are not up-to-date and I have orders to make and no energy to do it.

While life is overwhelming me at the moment - I’m positive, I’ll gain control again – hopefully sooner, rather than later.

Texting With The Boy...

2011-05-04T20:36:00.000-04:00

On Tomatoes…

The Boy: What should I do with a half of a tomato?

Me: Um…wrap it up and leave it on the counter.

The Boy: But, I already put it in the refrigerator.

Me: Then why did you ask me what to do with it?

The Boy: I dunno.

Me: By the way, what are you doing with a tomato? (I ask because he hasn’t eaten a sliced tomato since he was 2)

The Boy: I made a sandwich.

Me: But you don’t like tomatoes.

The Boy: I still don’t like tomatoes. I didn’t do it for me. It was done for the sake of the sandwich.

Me: Stop texting me.

On Getting a Puppy…

The Boy: Can I get a puppy?

Me: No

The Boy: Why not?

Me: Because I’ll be the one left to look after it.

The Boy: No you won’t. I’ll feed it and take it for walks and clean up after it and it can stay in my room. You won’t have to do a thing.

Me: Have you fed your goldfish in a while?

The Boy: No, I keep forgetting.

Me: If you had a puppy in your room, it would have died by now.

The Boy: Good point.

Artsy, Fartsy...

2011-05-02T20:27:00.000-04:00

It was a busy weekend and before I knew what happened, Monday showed up like an uninvited family member and I already have more than enough of those in my life.

Life is getting back to normal (or at least my version of it) now that The Boy has moved back home. I will be the first to admit that he seems to have matured a little by being away. He’s not complaining when asked to do things, he does things without being asked, he doesn’t have to be reminded to do things and he’s even doing his own laundry. Now, I’m thinking about sending J away for a little while, so maybe he picks up on some of those same life skills…

Speaking of J, he has now officially entered into the world of selling his photographs. He became an Etsy seller (Imagine It Photos) last week. A first, he wasn’t sold on the idea of Etsy, as he believed it sounded “too artsy fartsy” and was more of a “girly” thing. He’s changed his mind once he received a few positive comments and one of his photos being featured in a Treasury List within the first couple of days. He's not mocking me now...fickle fellow he is.

With both of us consumed with our money-making pastimes, we are hoping our 7-10 year plan can develop into more of a 5 year plan. Fingers, toes and eyes crossed…

A Letter to Myself…Runaway With Me…

2011-05-01T19:46:00.000-04:00

I’d love nothing more than to leave everything behind and runaway to somewhere far away, where responsibility and reality can’t find me. Will you join me?

I'm not running from anything in particular. I'm certainly not unhappy with my current life. I'm very blessed and thankful for what I have. It’s just that I yearn for something else, something different, something unknown. Don't take it personally...

We were born with expectations placed upon us – school, marriage, career, children, retirement plans. Why can’t society just leave us alone and let us be? Let us be us, not the expectation of what we should be?

What happened to our dreams?

If I run, will you follow or will you just watch as I leave?

Are you too afraid of what we might find or too insecure to leave what you know?

“Let your mind start a journey thru a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be…Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you’ll have lived as you’ve never lived before.” Erich Fromm

If You’re Family, I’ve Gone Fishing…

2011-04-28T07:00:00.001-04:00

I’ve mentioned before that I have a crazy-ass family. My immediate family is slightly quirky, but it’s the extended ones on my mother’s side that cause me the greatest concern.

My mother was the eldest of 8 brothers and sisters and this is likely the reason she only had one child. I understand that now – they are freakin nuts.

For as long as I can remember, there has been in-fighting between them. At any one given time, no more than 2 would be on speaking terms. It’s been going on forever and I’m pretty sure they’ve actually forgotten what they’re fighting about.

The majority of them live in another Province, with a handful within an hour of me. I’m not close with any of them. They don’t send holiday wishes or call just to say hello – unless of course they want something.

When my mother passed away, they surprising all came together for her funeral, but still were separated into their respective “factions”. Certain groups would speak with all groups, while others preferred the solitude of their own company. It was ridiculous behavior. That was 4 years ago.

Three years ago, my aunt sends me an e-mail asking for help preparing her wills. I tell her that I haven’t prepared wills in years, but would help her – begrudgingly. She hounds me relentlessly via e-mail for two weeks until I get them finished. I don’t hear from her for almost another two years.

Two years ago, my cousin calls me asking for help in getting a court order dismissed. I spend an entire Saturday filling out the paperwork and coaching them on what they need to do. I don’t know if they were successful - I haven’t heard from them since that day.

A year ago, my aunt calls asking for advice on her will that I prepared for her three years ago. She wants to know if her will can be contested. I tell her that yes it can be and most likely will be – that’s what you can expect when you leave your three daughters and grandchildren out of her will. She didn’t like what I told her and hasn’t “spoken” to me since.

A couple of months ago, the same aunt did send me an e-mail berating me on going on a Caribbean vacation when I haven’t visited my family in the east coast in over 12 years. This is the SAME family that she doesn’t speak to. She’s the “one” that doesn’t speak with any of them…

Three months ago, I get a call from my uncle, who needs help with a collection matter – from his daughter and ex-son-in-law. He wants to know the best way to collect $35,000 from them. It’s only been outstanding without a single payment being made since 2003, but now that the two have separated, he’s looking to collect it. I’ve spent well over 48 hours of my time in the last two weeks, preparing documents, explaining what they can’t and can do to collect the money and basically “listening” to how they’ve been used and screwed over by their own daughter.

After 2 hours on the phone last night with my uncle’s wife who tells me that she doesn’t like the way I prepared the documents and that she’s wants them redone to her liking - I totally lost it. I’ve never really liked her and now she knows exactly how I feel about her and her messed up family. She is the main reason all of the other aunts and uncles don't speak with each other. I like to call her Yoko Ono...

It’s official, I’ve gone into retirement and my “free” services are no longer extended to family members. For people I don’t see, they cause me great amount of grief and guilt. If I want grief and guilt, I’ll go talk to my mother-in-law – at least she sends me birthday wishes.

Peacekeeping 101...

2011-04-26T07:00:00.001-04:00

Well, The Boy is home from school for the summer…or perhaps longer and with that, my peace-keeping skills are already getting a workout.

I’ve always been the middle-man in my household – the “go to” person.

If J wants to relay something to The Boy, he tells me. If The Boy wants his dad to know something, he tells me. It’s not like they don’t speak to each – they do. The typically get along without incident. They both have their opinions and usually respect what each other has to say. Usually…

The Boy has not done fabulously at college this year. I honestly believe, it’s not for lack of trying, he tried, but he just wasn’t interested in what program he chose. I understand that it’s hard to choose a program and a career based strictly on a college catalogue.

How can you possibly know what you want from life, if you haven’t experienced anything? I understand this. The Boy is so much like me, it’s terrifying.

Problem One – The Boy is confused. He doesn’t know what he wants to do with his life, but he knows it’s not the course he was taking. I understand this, but J does not.

Problem Two – The Boy is a dreamer. J is a facts and figures kind of person and needs a “plan” at all times. I’m somewhere in the middle – I love to dream, but make a plan to get there and if things don’t go according to plan, I readjust and carry on.

Problem Three - The Boy understands that not getting a college education isn’t an option – neither is living in my basement when he’s 30. He wants an education, he just doesn’t know what it will be or what in life will make him happy. J can’t grasp the concept that not everyone knows what they want from life (at age 18) or how to get it.

Problem Four – J looks at the past year as being a “waste of time and money”. I somewhat understand the money thing, but I understand The Boy’s point of view too – “that being away from home has made him appreciate different cultures, different views, different people, where he’s from and where he doesn’t want to be”. What J needs to realize that The Boy is the one working to repay his student loans, so instead of looking at it as a “waste of money”, he needs to look at it like an expensive life lesson.

I have no doubt, The Boy will be successful in life. He’s passionate and driven, but he just hasn’t found out what makes him passionate enough and driven enough to follow his dream.

Once again, I’m the middle man – constantly needing to find common ground while keeping both sides happy and on speaking terms with each other. I’m exhausted and it’s only been three days…

Any recommendations? I’ve considered running away from home, but I’m sure they will find me.

Green Goblin...

2011-04-19T20:24:00.000-04:00

I don't normally like to bore you with my jewelry related stuff - that's what my other blog is for, but I just had to share my newest experiment. I've been attempting to create chainmaille pieces. Here is my first set of earrings.

I'm pretty happy with how they turned out and I absolutely love the skull beads. I mean, I LOVE them...

Learn to Get Along Boys…or I’m Telling…

2011-04-18T19:21:00.000-04:00

I’m in the midst of the power struggle at work and I’m not even an active participant.

Although I’m in the Legal Department, I sit in the area of the Finance Department.

The Chief Financial Officer likes to believe that he will be the next in line to become President, so he has this God complex about him. I stress the word “believe” because I would bet my salary on that not happening. He’s just not smart enough or enough of a people person for that to happen – he’s not liked at all. He’s arrogant and self-absorbed. Need I say how I really feel? I don't think he likes me either, so we're even.

The in-house lawyer, who I work for doesn’t want to become the next President, but technically he is viewed as being in “second in command” by the current President of the company. This in itself pisses the Chief Financial Officer off to no end. The lawyer is wound pretty tightly, but other than his anal-retentiveness, he’s easy to get along with.

I thought certain women I work with are backstabbers and hard to work with, but the CFO takes the cake for pettiness and underhanded digs at the expense of the lawyer. What he fails to recognize is that I sit in the office beside him and I can overhear the crap he says and does. He also fails to recognize that I can’t stand backstabbing. I’m a firm believer that if you have something to say, you should say it to the person’s face. They may not like what they hear, but its better than hearing it second hand.

So, here I sit – waiting for the noose to tighten a little more around the CFO's neck before I march off to my boss (the lawyer) and tell him what’s really going on. I think he already knows, but I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt his cause to receive a little more confirmation.

This whole thing is nothing more than “school yard shenanigans”. So what does that make me in this whole thing? I’m the school yard “tattle tale”. I’m okay with that. I’ve always been the one to stand up for the underdog, regardless whether it’s the winning or losing side.

When "boys will be boys", it’s time for the girls to step in and start running the show. I say Travel Dive Girl for President!

Kid's Say The Darndest Things...

2011-04-14T19:57:00.000-04:00

I should of saved this for “World’s Ocean Day”, but let’s be honest, I would have forgotten about it by then. As with a lot of things, I received this in an email from a fellow scuba diver and just had to share. It's a collection of children writing about the ocean.

This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Sam, age 7)

Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more.

(Kylie, age 6)

A dolphin breaths through an asshole on the top of its head.

(Billy, age 8)

My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant?   Like, really?   (Helen, age 6)

I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)

When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)

On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6)

My dad was a sailor on the ocean He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

If you didn't chuckle at one of these, you need to find your sense of humor.

Ode to Spring...

2011-04-11T20:22:00.000-04:00

Okay, part of any healing process is to admit there is a problem in the first place, so I’ll admit it - this Winter kicked my ass and then kicked it again just for good measure.

So, now onto the healing part…

This past weekend was gorgeous – the sun was shining, the grass was greening, the birds were singing, the weather was warm enough to say “bye bye winter sweaters”. I was able to open up the windows and let the fresh air blow throughout the house. In the evening, we were serenaded by the frogs and toads waking up from their long winter slumber. Heaven…

I could literally feel the cobwebs blowing from my mind while I sat basking in the sun on our deck with an ice cold beer in hand yesterday afternoon.

All is right with the world again… Thanks to everyone for listening to my bitching and moaning these past months – it was much appreciated.

With Brain Mush, This is What You Get...

2011-04-07T20:34:00.000-04:00

I cannot seem to shut my brain off or at a minimum fine tune it, so that I can organize my thoughts. As much as I try to focus of something, I’m distracted by another thought or thing. So, with all that said, here’s what’s on my mind:

The Boy is moving some of his stuff home this weekend. I’m excited to see him, but not excited to see all of the crap he’ll be bringing with him. I don’t know how he has managed to accumulate so much stuff in such a short period of time of being away at school.

Speaking of The Boy, he got the great summer job I told you about a couple of weeks ago. He’s disappointed it’s not in cemetery maintenance, but he’s happy (and so am I) that he’ll be earning $12.50 per hour.

J had a phone interview for a new job yesterday. Secretly I hope he doesn’t get it. I know I’m awful, but I think he’s making the wrong decision by wanting to go to this company. I believe he’s wanting out of his current job so bad, he’s not looking at the big picture and what he’ll be giving up by doing so. I have more than enough experience with jumping from one bad job to another. I’ve expressed my concerns and regardless of the outcome, I’ll be supportive because that’s what he’d do for me. I don’t have to like it though.

With great sadness and a lot of tears, I had our cat euthanized yesterday. He was 18 and had just been diagnosed with an untreatable kidney disease. Obviously it wasn’t easy, but it was the humane thing to do and I know I did the right thing. I swear the only thing keeping him alive the past few years was the fact that he liked to chew on J’s computer electrical cords and the low voltage current kept jumpstarting his heart.

Since fish don’t count, we are now a pet free household. I’m not sure how I feel about that, but I’m not in any hurry to get any more animals – at least not for awhile. I do know that I won’t miss the gargantuan sized fur balls blowing throughout the house no matter how much I sweep and vacuum.

It snowed again yesterday and we had freezing rain overnight. I’ve said it before and will say it once more – living in the north stinks, except during the Spring and Summer months.

On the upside, the weather may have turned the corner for today - it was sunny and warm. Let's hope it lasts until November.

7 to 10...

2011-04-05T19:56:00.000-04:00

I’ve always struggled with the question “where do you see yourself in 5, 7 or 10 years”?

Realistically, I don’t really know.

In my fantasy world - I know that I don’t want to be working. I know that I don’t want to be living in Canada during the winter months and I know that I want to be independently wealthy. I said it was a fantasy world…enough said.

On the other hand, the real world tells me that - I’ll still be working, still be living in Canada during the winter months and I won’t be independently wealthy.

BUT I do have a 7 to 10 year plan to get me somewhere closer to my ultimate goal…

To own a vacation property somewhere in the Caribbean. Ideally I would like to own a vacation property on Bonaire, but I’ll go wherever I can get the most “bang for my buck” - without pirates or warlords of course.

My Plan to Get There…

I know buying a vacation home takes money. Therein lies problem #1. How do I intend to get the money?

1. I intend to have paid off our mortgage in 7 years. This is an aggressive goal, but with a little adjustment to our spending habits, it should be attainable simply by doubling up on our weekly mortgage payments.

2. I intend to have our credit line reduced by at least 50%. This one is likely closer to the 8 to 10 year timeframe. With all my extra money going towards the mortgage, this one is going to be a little tougher. As you can see, I haven’t worked out all the details on this one. Damn details…

3. So with my mortgage paid off and my credit line reduced, I won’t have any difficulty getting a loan, which will finance my vacation property. In theory it should work…

“We are all agreed that your theory is crazy. The question which divides us is whether it is crazy enough to have a chance of being correct. My own feeling is that it is not crazy enough.” Niels Bohr

Guilty Pleasure...

2011-04-03T18:48:00.000-04:00

My new favorite show is currently airing on The Discovery Channel and it’s called “An Idiot Abroad”. Basically the show follows the not-so-adventurous Karl Pilkington while he visits the Seven Wonders of the World, at the persuasion of his friends Ricky Gervais and Steve Merchant.

Steve’s hope is for Karl to broaden his mind with travel and cultural experiences. Ricky’s hope is that Karl will hate every minute of it…and he does.

The misadventures of Karl are unbelievably funny. I’ve laughed until I’ve cried during every single episode. It’s priceless…I guess I enjoy watching the misfortunes of others. What can I say? I should point out that some of Karl's insights are brilliant. This show is so well done - at least in my opinion.

Got a plan? No, me neither…

2011-03-31T20:38:00.000-04:00

For years, I’ve never really been bothered by my slight weight gain. I figured that a few pounds over the course of the year can’t be all that bad. What I failed to take into account was that a few pounds multiplied by a few years equals “a helluva lot of weight gain”. I know. I’m a mathematical genius…

I’m also plagued by hypothyroidism, which causes weight gain for no particular reason, even when medicated properly. Couple that with the fact that I hate vegetables and ridiculous amounts of exercise…I’m doomed.

According to the National Institute of Health, I’m bordering between overweight and obese. Obese? I hate that word, but it’s true. My “healthy” weight should be within the range of 101 to 136 lbs. Holy hell – that’s a long way from where I am.

How in the world am I going to get there? I’m not quite sure, but somehow I need too.

What’s changed? Why the sudden need for weight loss? Well, it’s simple – I’m not comfortable with my physical self. I’m at the far end of the “average” size limit for clothes – next stop “plus” sizes. I don’t like the look of my butt in the mirror (yes, I check it often). I don’t like the fact that my thighs rub together when I walk (swish, swish, swish) and I’m worried I might spontaneously combust if I move too quickly. All sad, but true…

I don’t expect miracles overnight, but I do expect that in a year from now and in time for my Philippines trip, I will have reached my “healthy” weight. That’s 2.5 lbs per month. I’m being realistic, it has to be “slow and steady” or otherwise, I might combust.

Random Monday Thoughts...On a Tuesday...

2011-03-29T07:00:00.001-04:00

I haven’t felt like I’ve had any time to myself in a very long time. My brain is mush. I don’t know what the hell is going on in my life or where I’m at within it. I’m actually thinking about taking a *cough* sick day (or two) just to stay at home and catch up on some “me” time. I miss me.

I usually try to save my sick days for June or July (when the weather is warm, the sun is shining, the beer is cold and my deck chairs are clear of snow), but I’m getting desperate for some solitude. Really, really desperate.

Over the past couple of weeks, my jewelry business has been picking up steam again and I’ve actually just received an order for a wedding in June. Yay me. Problem is – I have no motivation to get moving on it. Hence, another great reason for a “me” day.

The Boy was home for a quick visit on the weekend. He was actually home for a summer job interview with the water department of a local town. Fingers crossed that he gets it. He desperately needs a good summer job and those are very scarce in our area.

When I asked The Boy how the interview went. His reply was:

“I’m not going to lie, I’m totally not qualified for it. I’d much rather be working in the cemetery maintenance department. No one’s going to bother me there.”

He’s so much like me – it’s scary…

Speaking of cemeteries - I saw the creepiest thing on my way home a couple of weeks ago when I was driving by an old country cemetery in the middle of nowhere. I see small flickering lights in the cemetery and my first thought was someone was in the cemetery with a flashlight. Out of morbid curiosity, I slow down to get a closer look and then I realize they were those damn solar lights. A number of graves were adorned with solar lights. I’m guessing those same graves were also decorated with lawn gnomes and plastic flowers. What the hell the solar lights were for, I do not know. BUT, I do know that it creeped me out.

I hate it when I ask someone (J) to look up one small thing on his computer and the time I spent explaining it to him and listening to him complain that he couldn't find it - I could have done it myself. Grrr...

Weekend Recap...

2011-03-28T09:59:00.000-04:00

Where the hell did it go?What the heck did I do?I don't recall, so it was either a really, really good time or I'm blocking something horrible.Now it's Monday and we're back at it. Whatever "it" is...

Settle In…I’m Going to Start Complaining…

2011-03-23T20:06:00.000-04:00

Well, I’ve been at my new place of employment for 4 months now.

For the most part, I like the people I work with. They are slightly boring, in comparison to the people I’m used to working with and there are a couple of people with “issues”; but what place doesn’t have “those” ones right?. Variety is supposed to be the spice of life, so I guess, I’ll just deal with it.

I also enjoy the work I’m doing – mostly. There are always those tasks that I’d rather not have to do and usually put off until the last possible moment, but once again – I deal with it.

The pay is good – no complaints in that department. Benefits are good too.

So on the surface, it sounds like the perfect position and I really have no reason to complain, but alas, I’m going to anyway.

Problem?

I know what needs to be done. I know how to go about getting the job done. I know how to make things run more efficiently. My boss does not understand the concept of efficient.

My boss is high-strung and super anal retentive, but I’ll say this – he’s super duper smart – probably almost a genius. I’ve worked with him in a previous life, so I knew what I was getting myself into before I took the position or so I thought. What I failed to realize was how his anal retentiveness creates stumbling blocks on everything he does for himself, myself and others that are waiting on him.

He over analyzes absolutely everything. He fails to recognize the big picture and what needs to get done in a realistic timeframe. Instead he focuses on what could possibly go wrong in “an end of the earth, doomsday scenario”. It’s just not practical.

It takes months to negotiate agreements that should only take weeks. Things that could be done within hours, has taken him weeks to complete. A simple yes or no, is not in his vocabulary. With every question ask, you get 5 in return. It’s frustrating.

It’s good to minimize risks, but what he fails to recognize is that by taking so long to finish things, our department is being left out of a lot of important decision making discussions because we are perceived as a roadblock to successful project completion. They are right.

Instead of minimizing risks, we are creating others that my boss isn’t even aware of because people leave our department out of anything that is slightly time sensitive. I can’t bring these issues to his attention, or else he’ll never get anything done and neither will I. So instead I wait, and wait, and pester and wait…and pester somemore...

I’m not good at waiting. I need action…and fast.

Sure Sign Spring is Near?

2011-03-21T19:46:00.000-04:00

Canada Goose Shit on the Sidewalks – Canadian Geese are simple vermin in the eyes of Canadians.

We are overrun by them. Thanks to global warming, they no longer “fly south”. Nope, instead they prefer to save their energy and hang around during the winter and breed. As soon as the weather warms slightly, they seem to appear and are everywhere. Thanks to urban sprawl, geese have moved into many city neighborhoods. They choose to nest in the oddest spots – including the shrubbery surrounding the building where I work.

If you haven’t had the pleasure of a run in with a Canada Goose, let me say this - they are mean-spirited and nasty and love to attack the unsuspecting. Oh, and they are indiscriminate poop machines. When the hissing and honking starts, you better start running or swinging or both. I’ve seen them dent car doors and break car mirrors. I prefer the cursing, purse swinging, leg kicking, high karate moves myself.

Yup, goose poop on the sidewalks usually means Spring is just around the corner. Not only do you have to watch where you step, but you also need to watch what’s lurking in the bushes. Soon, I’m putting in for hazard pay.

What's your sure sign of Spring?

Doom and Gloom. Anxiety Setting In Yet?

2011-03-17T19:24:00.000-04:00

With so much doom, gloom and tragedy in the world at the moment, how do you manage to keep a positive outlook on the future?

A. Do you hide under a rock?

B. Do you put on those rose colored glass and pretend the world is not falling apart around you?

C. Do you turn off all forms of communication to avoid being inundated with media reports?

D. Do you figure “What the hell? It can’t get any worse?”

Right now, I’m leaning towards item A. It’s kind of like a game of rock, paper scissors. If I’m already hiding under the rock, how much damage could it possibly do?

Back From The Beach...

2011-03-15T19:39:00.000-04:00

Well folks, I've returned from holidays...my apologies...

All that's left are the memories. Here are a few photos, which I should point out were actually taken by me. I bought my own camera, so as not to have to rely on J to share his.

New Template For Now...

2011-03-08T18:10:00.000-05:00

It appears that my previous template has become corrupt, so I've had to switch templates. Rest assured it will change again once I'm back from vacation - this one is just a quick fix, so please no comments about how fugly it is...

Til then...

On The Bright Side of March...

2011-03-04T20:34:00.000-05:00

In a desperate attempt to put the winter blahs behind me, Itrying to look on the bright side of things and this is my attempt of lookingfor the positives in the month of March (in no particular order).

St. Patrick’s Day – What’s not to love about a day where youcan drink green beer and kiss Irish people?

My Birthday – Also another day you can drink beer and kissIrish people.

Mardis Gras - Do you sense a pattern? Another day to drink beer, but this time I don’t think you’re limited tojust kissing the Irish.

Spring – The first day of Spring officially arrives – enoughsaid. No wait – WHOO HOOO!!!

Daylight Savings Time – More daylight! Yeah!!!

Three Pay Checks – Bi-weekly pay periods are fantastic whenyou are blessed with three of them in one month. What to buy? What bill to pay?

March Madness – I don’t really follow basketball any othertime of year, but I am part of a “pool”, so I tend to pay a little moreattention to what’s going on in March.

International Women’s Day – I’m actually attending a galabreakfast in recognition of this day. I committed to going before I knew it started at 7:00 a.m. and will haveto get up by 5:00 to make it on time. Next time…I’ll ask for the details first.

Last but not least…a vacation. Yes, I’m taking another vacation (next week). I know, I know - that's all I do. This one I can thank my income tax refund and theweekend hours I worked for my previous company, to be able to book agetaway. Thank goodness forsmall miracles. After this one –there will be no more vacations in my near future. I need to get saving for “Philippines 2012 – Epic Dive Adventure3.0”.

What’s on your bright side of March?

Facebook… The Pickle Theme…

2011-03-02T07:00:00.018-05:00

The jury is still out as to whether I find Facebook to be auseful tool. Sometimes I want togouge my eyes out and defriend everyone on my list (mostly blood relatives)because I’m inundated with crap about their lives. There are other times when I find Facebook to be a greattool for sharing and inspiration. Yesterday was one of those days…

Various comments and status updates that brought joy to mylife…

In response to my status update of:

“The sun is shining. All is right withthe world – at least my world”.

A good male friend (who dislikes cats – therein lies thehumor) wrote:

"Good for you, mymorning started with cleaning out the refrigerator after the dill picklecontainer spilled through the night, only to be followed by Ewok (his wife’scat) puking her guts out and then crapping all over the kitchen floor. I need avacation!”

The following status update that made me laugh out loud and comes froma newly added “friend” (via our blogs)…you know who you are…

“My inner cheerleadingsquad ran off to join a cult. Nowthey cheer for His Holiness the Immaculate Saint of Little Pickles.”

And last, but not least…my son’s Facebook account (who is not a "friend, but that Icreep)…

Yep, for the time being I heart FB...and pickles.

Random Enough For You?

2011-03-01T07:00:00.004-05:00

That's all I've got...

Happy Tuesday!

February is Messing With My Mind...

2011-02-28T19:47:00.000-05:00

Normally, I take immense pleasure with turning the pages onthe calendar. There is somethingexciting about turning the page to a new month. I’m not sure whether it’s the excitement of a new photo, aclean slate or new hopes for what the upcoming month may bring. This time of year brings me even morepleasure because with each nasty month behind me, I’m that much closer to theseasons I love – Spring, Summer and Fall.

Today, I’m fighting the urge not to just jump ahead and flipthe page to March. Twice I’vestarted to make the move and twice I’ve stopped myself. Somehow I just can’t justify theswitch because by doing so I feel like I’m selling February short of its timeto shine. It’s a short month tobegin with and now I’m just wishing it away. I’m actually feeling guilty! I can’t believe the inner turmoil I’ve caused myself.

Stupid short month…enjoy it while you can becausesoon, I’m turning you over…