30 April, 2010

Anyone Else Up For a Mid-Life Crisis?

Once upon a time, there was a girl.

Girl met, fell in love and married a boy.

Girl is now a wife.  Boy is now a husband.

Boy and girl had a son.

Girl is now a mom.  Boy is now a dad.

Son becomes the center of mom and dad’s universe.

Son is growing up and will be going away to school in the fall.

Mom is facing the reality that she will be soon left with an empty nest.

Mom is not thrilled with that reality.  Dad is oblivious to it.

Mom is thinking what now?  Where does she go from here?  Mid-life crisis perhaps?

Dad is thinking about buying a boat.    

Dad is still oblivious.   

Mom wishes she was.

29 April, 2010

Where Would You Be?

Today's post is brought to you by an e-mail I received from a friend...

Where Would You Be?
If – You had all the money your heart desires?
If – You had no worries?
If – You came home and the finest meal is awaiting you?
If – Your bath water had been run?
If – You had the perfect kids or pets?
If – Your partner was awaiting you, with open arms and kisses?
So, where would you be?
Well?  Hellooooo!!!
You’d be in the WRONG house!

Have a great day!

28 April, 2010

I Was Feeling Pretty Good Until...

I had my annual “physical” yesterday.   I’ve been attending the same clinic for well over 20 years and am overall happy with the service I receive.  The clinic is part of a state-of-the-art teaching hospital, so with that I typically have relatively quick access to a network of specialists should the need arise.  With that being said, I’m usually treated by residents and have rarely had the same resident in all my 20 years.
I felt pretty good going into the appointment and then not so much by the time I left.   Why do you ask?
  • Well, first of all I was treated by Miss Doogie Howser.   I swear she wasn’t even legal drinking age.  That in itself made me feel old, because when I first started going to that clinic – I WAS her age.
  • As she was running down the standard list of questions (i.e. do you smoke, how much do you drink, is there any history of heart problems in your family), she asked me “How is your sex life?  Any concerns?  Are you satisfied with it?”  Ummm, wow I think to myself, how do I answer this?  I’m sure I’ve experienced more in the last few weeks than she has in her ENTIRE lifetime.  Instead of blurting out that I’m “well versed in the art of Kama sutra”, I just smile and say "everything is fine, no concerns".
  • She then performs the standard “check up”, but while doing so, points out that I have “a lot of sun damage”.  What?   According to her - freckles are considered sun damage.  I have had these same freckles since I was 6 and I’m a redhead, so I guess I’m automatically predisposed to “sun damage”.
  • She then finds one freckle sun damaged spot that is particularly concerning to her.  I think it’s a wart and it’s been there for at least 5 years.  She now has me scheduled for a biopsy on my wart – “just to be sure”!
  • I’m also scheduled for fasting and bloods tests in the near future – “just to be sure that nothing else is wrong with me”.
  • Oh and apparently, my urine sample had something funky going on too, so they are sending that away for tests – “just to be sure”.  Seriously?
I went in feeling like a million bucks, but by the time I left, I was feeling like I had a whole bunch of undiagnosed diseases - gout, arthritis, dementia, kidney stones, high blood pressure, liver disease and let’s not forget - irreversible sun damage.

26 April, 2010

It Could Be Worse...

I didn't have a planned post in mind this morning, but when this email was waiting for me in my Inbox this morning, I just had to share it.  It's from my best friend...

"I Hate Freakin’ Mondays.     I have all the windows open in the office – I think a skunk crawled under the building and died."

Moral of the story:  When you think your Monday sucks....it could be a hell of a lot worse!

23 April, 2010

It's Friday - Let The Happiness Begin...

Enjoy the happiness of today because soon Monday will be upon us and I’ll be back to my cranky self.
  • I’m happy it’s finally Friday.  This has been a painfully slow week, so it’s nice to know that in a mere 7.5 hours, the weekend will be upon me.
  • I’m happy that my husband writes his exam tonight.  Finally, he will be able to stop complaining about the course and I can stop nagging him to turn off the television and study for it.  I’m also happy he’s not planning on taking another one until September.
  • I’m happy that we have free muffins and yogurt at work today.  Free food always makes me happy.
  • I’m happy that we are going to Toronto tomorrow.  We are taking our son to his college open house and then we are taking me shopping.
  • I’m happy that I’m helping my friend instruct a scuba course on Sunday.  When scuba lessons start up again, it means Spring is finally here.   The downside – I have to squeeze my ass into a wetsuit after a long bountiful winter.
  • I’m happy that it’s my MIL’s birthday on Sunday and for her gift, she has asked for one of the jewelry pieces I made.  That’s flattering…or perhaps it’s a request made out of pity. 
  • I’m happy that my Etsy shop is almost ready to go “live”, so stay tuned for updates and a celebratory giveaway to kick things off.
So tell me, are you happy?

22 April, 2010

Happy Earth Day!

Get outside and enjoy the nature that surrounds you...

Happy Earth Day Everyone!

21 April, 2010

Have You Ever?

Have you ever… wanted to run away and hide from your current responsibilities?
I sometimes wonder what it would be like to “join” the witness relocation program.  It’s not like it would be a real club and of course, I wouldn’t want to be hunted by some drug crazed mobster, but it would be nice to start over.   There are certain days, when the thought is very appealing to me.

Have you ever… had the urge to “moon” some random person just to see what their reaction might be?
I’ve been “dared” to moon on occasion, but the usual “moonees” are friends, so somehow the shock factor is lost.

Have you ever… just wanted to tell someone to “shut the $%#^ up” and then punch them in the face?
No?  Okay, maybe I’m the only one with unresolved co-worker issues.

Have you ever… wondered how badly you would need to screw up to get fired?
I fantasize over this one.  Not that I would relish the thought of being unemployed and homeless, but a girl can dream about the freedom of not working during the summer months.  

Have you ever… wondered what it would be like to be involved in a high speed car chase?
I think it would be fun to see how fast my car could actually go and how great my driving skills are if I was being chased by drug crazed mobsters.
Have you ever… wanted to grab your passport and head to the airport without a planned destination in mind? 
One day, when I win the lottery...
Have you ever… thought about plowing your car through a row of traffic/construction cones just to break up the monotony?
Yes, I have issues.

Have you ever… wanted to trip a little kid when they are constantly running up and down an airplane aisle or through a crowded restaurant?
Not that I’ve EVER done such a thing.  I’m just saying…sometimes the urge can be overwhelming.

Tell me - what have you ever wondered about?

20 April, 2010

Random Tuesday Thoughts...Conversations With My Son

Today, I will share with you some of the recent random conversations that have occurred recently with my teenage son.  Thank goodness, he's mine because anyone else, wouldn't know what to do with him...
For more Random Tuesday Thoughts, hop on over and visit The Un Mom.

Prom Conversation #1
Me:   So, since it’s your last year in high school, are you planning on going to your prom this year?
The Boy:  That’s the plan.
Me:  Well, I guess we are going to need to see about renting you a tuxedo.
The Boy:  Why?  I thought I could just buy a suit instead.
Me:  It will be cheaper to rent a tuxedo.
The Boy:  This prom thing is turning into a lot of work.
Me:  For who?
The Boy:  Me, since you’re going to expect me to try the tuxedo on too.

Prom Conversation #2
Me:  So, have you asked Stephanie to the prom yet?
The Boy:  Why do I need to ask her?  She’s my girlfriend.
Me:  You still need to ask her so that she has some notice to buy a dress.
The Boy:  Why are you being so difficult to me first thing in the morning?

Jewelry Conversation
The Boy:  I think you should make a piece of jewelry for me to give to Stephanie.
Me:  I thought Stephanie didn’t like jewelry.
The Boy:  Yeah, I thought so too but apparently she’s changed her mind.
Me:  Okay, what do you want to give her - a pendant, necklace, earrings or a bracelet?
The Boy:  Do you make rings?
Me: No
The Boy:  Good.  I don’t want to give her any expectations from me.

19 April, 2010

The Infamous “Ass Chewing” Update…

Well, I'm not any closer to finding out what happened.  It seems that no one is interested in speaking publicly about the incident.  Damn people with morals...
I can tell you that she didn’t quit, but as I suspected, the co-worker that was scolded on Friday left the building 3 hours after it happened and didn’t return for the remainder of the day.   My spidey senses must be getting rusty because I predicted 2 hours and she managed to outlast that time.   
Gosh, it’s so anti-climatic only getting a little bit of dirt and then being left hanging.   I guess I’ll just have to start my own rumors to keep things interesting… 

16 April, 2010

Breaking News...

An “ass chewing” has just occurred in the cube next to mine.  Interestingly - it was not done by the individual's boss, but it was done by mine instead.  My boss is the VP of the Legal Department.
I don’t know the finer details, but I believe it has something to do with over-stepping her boundaries.   I heard a lot of “so I’m to assume that you obviously don’t value my 25 years of work experience, but instead you choose to treat me like someone that’s fresh out of school" from her.  Eeek...
Knowing her personality (she’s pretty full of herself), I would not be surprised if she walks out of the building within the next hour.  She will come back or it could just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. 
In support of my boss, he started out calmly discussing the situation and then it escalated from there by her shrieking at him.  He’s pretty easy going and for him to "ass chew" someone – it NEEDED to be done.  

15 April, 2010

Things I’ve Officially Stopped Caring About and Wish Others Would Too…

Kate Gosselin on Dancing With the Stars.  This is one person I wish would get voted off the damn show so that we could stop hearing about how awful of a dancer she is.  Did we seriously think she would be the next Ginger Rogers? 
The drama that is American Idol.  I apologize in advance for anyone that I may offend, but I’ve never watched the show and don’t really intend to.  I find it trivial and irritating.  Why do we care if Simon Cowell is mean to Ellen Degeneres?  Ellen is a big girl and well respected in Hollywood so why the hell is she letting Simon make her cry?  Ratings perhaps?
Jesse James, Tiger Woods and anyone else that claims sex addiction.   I say “man up and just admit that you were a horn dog, screwed around, got caught and that you’re sorry”.  Stop assuming that by checking yourself into rehab and blaming it on a “disease” that all will be forgotten (although it would be nice if it would).   If it wasn’t for Sandra Bullock, Jesse James would have been forgotten long ago.  Let’s make it happen.
The History Channel, The Learning Channel (TLC).   When did “history” and "learning" become about Ice Road Truckers, Ax Men and Ice Pilots, Pawn Stars, LA Ink, Police Women of Broward County and Hoarders.  I'm certainly not learning anything new or historic from these programs, except my distaste for them is growing.    No offense to anyone that may be employed in any of the professions affiliated with these programs; however I think I might divorce my husband over his fondness for these channels.  True story.

14 April, 2010

I Want Wednesdays...

First, my apologies.  I had prepared this post last week, but something wonky happened with Blogger (or it might of been me) and it was inadvertently removed, so I've posted it again.  It's not a great post, but I've got nothing else for you today, so here it is...

Apart from the usual - losing weight, winning the lottery, finding a bag full of cash or inheriting some cash, it’s been awhile since I’ve wanted anything of substance (lunch doesn’t count). 
Having said that, I bring you my latest edition of wants:
Lortone Rock Tumbler  
Yes a rock tumbler.  Once you stop laughing, I’ll explain why.  I’ve always be one to pick up rocks, shells and beach glass when out and about.  I have jars and jars filled with what my husband calls junk, but I prefer to call “treasurers”.  Anyhow, now that I’ve started to make jewelry (more to come on that in a future post), I have discovered that a rock tumbler will give my treasurers a more finished appearance – perfect for jewelry making. 

Dremel 4000 High Performance Rotary Tool
Why you ask?  Why not?  It will become a great accessory to my Rock Tumbler.  Enough said.
Coach Bag
I found this bag while visiting San Juan and I fell in love.  This photo is taken from a knock off website because Coach won’t allow you to poach their photos (BTW - neither does Rolex).  Enough of that rant - I will never own it, but a girl can dream…
P.S. It would fit my tools...

World Peace
Perhaps if I don't appear so selfish and materialistic, my wish for wealth will be granted...

13 April, 2010

Shutter Love Tuesday...

Trendy Tree House is hosting a photo theme meme - Shutter Love Tuesday.  This weeks theme is pink.

Pink Passion

Random Tuesday Thoughts...Neglected Friends

On my drive into work this morning, I noticed one running shoe in the middle of the road.  How does a person manage to lose one running shoe and not notice it’s missing?
My company has been voted “One of the 50 Best Places to Work in Canada” for the 3rd year in a row.  I don’t know how that happened. 
I am so tired this week.  After 18+ years, my commute is wearing me down.
I haven’t exercised in weeks and I’m not sure I have any intention of doing so in the near future.  I’m contemplating just letting myself go and start shopping for spandex.  I won’t, but a girl can daydream of a life without exercise.
Maybe I just need some new friends – ones that are chubbier than me.
I’m feeling guilty that I haven’t entertained in months.  I typically like to have various couples over at different intervals throughout the year, but I haven’t invited anyone in at least 6 months.  Shame on me.
So, because I’ve neglected my friends of late, I’m thinking about making it right and having one big party for all of our friends later in June.   By having it in June, it gives me lots of time to prepare for it and by prepare - I mean get my shit together and get the deck stained and gardens cleaned up. 
My husband complains about me entertaining – at least until the guests get there and then he has a great time.  I don’t know why he even bothers to complain, it’s not like he does anything to assist in the preparations.  Wait, I stand corrected – he will pressure wash the deck before I stain it.  I would do that too, but he doesn’t like me to use his “man toys”.

Come to think of it, I shouldn't feel guilty about neglecting my friends since they obviously don't feel guilty about neglecting me - they haven't entertained me either.  I still do though - I guess I'm a better person or at least I like to think I am. 

That's enough of my randomness for one day, but if your in the mood for more - visit The Un Mom.

12 April, 2010

Photo Meme...

CrazyCris @ Here and There and Everywhere has tagged me with a photo meme. 

As everyone knows, I’m not the photographer in my family.  That honor is reserved for J.  Don’t get me wrong – I love photography, but in all honesty, I don’t have any interest in the work involved with it (i.e. saving the photos, organizing the photos, cataloging the photos, backing up with photos, etc.).  I suppose, that would be called lazy…

So with that being said, I don’t take as many photos as I should, but I do have a few photos of my own.  Yes, there are a few times that I get energetic enough to carry around the camera for myself.  J still has to look after transferring them from the camera for me.  I haven’t gotten there yet (nor do I plan too)...

TA DA…for all those skeptics (*wink*) out there.  Here is your proof that I know how to work a camera…

This photo was taken last year on our trip to Bonaire.  These wind generators have been newly installed on the east side of the island and there are 13 in total.  It's a pretty cool sight in such a deserted part of the island.

And because I know, the first picture left you wanting more.  This is a photo of some lava rocks and barrel cactus.  By the way, if you step on those thorns - they WILL go through your sandals. and stick on your foot.  Just saying...life lesson - stay out of the cactus bushes and find another place to pee.
Anyhow, the rules are simple.

1.      Open your first photo folder and insert the 10th photo with a note.
2.      Pass this task on to five more followers.

So, I choose:

Miss Angie @ My So-Called Chaos

09 April, 2010

My Happy Place...

It's snowing here in my part of Canada today.  Actually it's flurrying.  Regardless what you call it - it sucks.  So with that being said, I'm going to my happy place...

07 April, 2010

Beans, Beans, The Magical Fruit...

One of my family’s favorite weekend lunches is beans and wieners (aka - beans and hot dogs or aka – beans and franks).  Weird, I know… but the men in the household enjoy anything that you can devour while piled on buttered bread.
A few months ago, I was in the process of preparing this gourmet fare.  I know - I'm such a gourmet cook.  The can of beans had been dumped in the pot and I was in process of cutting up the hot dogs (as they are called in here Canada), when my son saunters over to the kitchen counter and asks what I’m doing. 
Here is a snippet of the conversation that followed:
Me:  I’m making lunch. 
The Boy:  Why are you cutting up the hot dogs?
Me:  What are you talking about?
The Boy:  I’m asking why you are cutting up the hot dogs.
Me:   You have to cut up the hot dogs in order to make “beans and wieners”.
The Boy:  (With a look of horror and shock in his eyes.)  WHAT?  WHAT DO YOU MEAN?  I thought the hot dogs already came in the can.
Me:  (no response – I just stare at him with disbelief)
The Boy:  Seriously Mom, do the hot dogs not come already cut up in the can?
Me:  No.  Where have you been for the last 17 years of your life? I have to cut them up and put them in the beans.
The Boy:  Oh my god!  I’ve always thought beans and wieners came in a can together.  I feel like I've just learned Santa Claus doesn't really exist.
Me:   (By this time, I’m convulsing with laughter)
The Boy:  Seriously, someone should invent beans and wieners in a can together.  I know I’d buy them and my friends would too – especially if you could microwave them.
Me:  Why don’t you get on that money making idea?
The Boy:  I just might…I'm devastated by this reality.  
My husband and I laughed at great length over my son’s naiveté on this one.

Fast forward to the week of March 22, 2010.  The place – Rincon, Puerto Rico.
My husband and I are on holidays and we are cruising through the local grocery store in Rincon, Puerto Rico.  I’m actually looking for the liquor aisle, but I also like to see what different products can be found – hot sauces, spices, etc.   Grocery stores fascinate me.   Don’t judge…
As I’m moving slowly along, my eyes focus on what I thought was a Campbell’s Soup label.   Some Campbell’s Soups are made in Canada, so I lean in to take a closer look.
WTH?  I see “Campbell’s Beans & Sliced Franks” written on the label.  OMG!  I can’t believe they actually DO make beans and wieners in a can!  Where the hell have these things been all my life?   Why can’t Canada actually have items like this…and cheese in a can too?  I’ve obviously been missing out on so much.

My son was right – they should make them together in a can.  Turns out they do…and The Boy is actually a genius.  Well not really, but as a parent I have to say that.   
Anyhow, I pick up a couple of cans to take home to my son.  I think to myself he will be so happy to be vindicated.  Besides, it’s time to move on – the locals were getting concerned over the two foreigners making such a big deal over a can of beans (and sliced franks).
As I get to the checkout I notice one small detail on the label that I had overlooked earlier…“Product of Canada”.  Are you shitting me?   Yep – “Campbell’s Beans & Sliced Franks” are made in Canada.
It’s a friggin conspiracy and crime against Canadian beans and wieners lovers everywhere.  Why should I have to go to a foreign country to get something that’s made in my own backyard?   I’ve said it before –it sometimes sucks to be Canadian…unless you’re talking about beer.  That is something we’ve managed not to screw up.