26 February, 2010

I'd Pick More Daisies...

I love this and thought you might too...
 
By Nadine Stair, age 85
  • If I had my life to live over, I’d try to make more mistakes next time.
  • I would relax. I would limber up.
  • I would be sillier than I have on this trip.
  • I would be crazier. I would be less hygienic.
  • I would take more chances, I would take more trips.
  • I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers, and watch more sunsets.
  • I would burn more gasoline. I would eat more ice cream and less beans.
  • I would have more actual troubles and fewer imaginary ones.
  • You see, I am one of those people who lives practically and sensibly and sanely, hour after hour, day after day.
  • Oh, I have had my moments and if I had it to do over again, I'd have more of them.
  • In fact, I'd try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after another. Instead of living so many years ahead each day.
  • I have been one of those people who never go anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute.
  • If I had to do it over again, I would go places and do things.
  • I'd travel lighter than I have.
  • If I had my life to live over, I would start barefooted earlier in the spring and stay that way later in the fall.
  • I would play hooky more. I wouldn't make such good grades except by accident.
  • I would ride on merry-go-rounds.
  • I'd pick more daisies!

25 February, 2010

Dear Mother Nature....


How have you been doing? 
It’s been a while since we’ve been in touch and I note that you’ve been ignoring my Friend Request on Facebook; so one can only assumed that you are pissed at me. 
What could I have possibly done to make you so spiteful to my needs?  Are you still angry at me for calling you a bitch?  You should not take that one personally - I call everyone a bitch.  You should actually consider it a term of endearment.  *smiles*
In the interest of our ongoing friendship, may I suggest a truce?  Here’s what I propose – I won’t slander you or your work for the remainder of the month, if you just do me one solid favor.   
What’s the favor you may ask?  Well, I’m sort of in need of a “mental health day”, but because I don’t want to use any of my sick days because I like to save those for when I’m not actually sick (you know to screw around for the day in the warmer months) and I can’t possible use any of my holidays for things other than actual holidays.  Do you see where I’m going with this?  I need your help…
May I suggest that you use for skill for side of good (instead of evil) and work some of your lovely magic and provide me with a “snow day” for tomorrow, Friday, February 26th?  If it wouldn’t be too much to ask, can you get the party started around 4 o’clock in the morning? 
I know you won’t let me down… because friends like us are like diamonds – we’re forever.
Hugs,
TDG

24 February, 2010

Wordless Wednesday...

Gumby - 40ft underwater, Bonaire, Netherland Antilles

22 February, 2010

Me, Myself and I...


This past weekend, I had the opportunity to spend some time with myself. 
For a few blissful hours on Saturday, I wasn’t a mother, I wasn’t a spouse, I wasn’t an employee.  I was just me. 
This was the first time in what seems like forever, that I was able to take a drive in my car and be myself.  I didn’t have to be on my way to work or play taxi service to my son and his friends or run errands, grocery shop or do anything I didn’t want to do. 
I was able to leave my house, free of responsibilities.   With the sun shining though my car window, I stopped at the local coffee shop for a “to go” cup and then started out to my destination.   It was nice to know I was headed to a destination of choice, not necessity.   I didn’t even bother to turn on the radio.  I was alone with myself.   
 It was nice to get reacquainted with me.  I like me.

19 February, 2010

Even Though My Husband Doubts It - I Have A Beautiful Heart...


A big thank you goes out to Miss Angie @ My So-Called Chaos for this wonderful award.   It’s always nice to receive awards, comments, treats, flowers, jewelry…you get the picture...gifts of any kind are welcomed here.  Thank you Miss Angie!
Make sure you visit Miss Angie @ My So-Called Chaos.  I should mention she shares fabulous recipes with her readers, so what other incentive to you need to pay her a visit.

Instructions:
1. List 4 things that keep your inner self beautiful.
2. List 4 things that keep you physically beautiful.
3. Tell us about a precious memory you keep close to your heart. [Optional]
4. Share this award with 5 other people that you think have a beautiful heart too.
5. Link the blogs of the people you chose and link the person's blog who awarded you.
6. Have fun!
#1 - How do I keep my inner self beautiful?

I’m not afraid to stand up for myself or for others that need it.
I believe that you will never achieve inner happiness if you don’t stand up for yourself and your beliefs.  It’s okay to say “no” on occasion.  People may be shocked initially, but they’ll get over it and if they don’t – tough luck for them.  Don’t sell yourself short for the sake of others…

I tell my family that I love them every day.
Some days, it's tougher than others, but leaving them with kind words, makes me feel special.

I find humor in everything – myself, my circumstances, my family, my job. 
I believe that if you don’t make fun of yourself, someone else will, so make sure you give them plenty of ammunition.  Have fun with everything life brings your way.

I don’t stress over things I can’t control and most stuff, I can’t control. 
I had a boss tell me once “Life’s too short to sweat the small stuff and in the grand scheme of things, it’s all small stuff”.  Whether you believe that statement to be true, it has worked for me.

#2 - How do I keep myself physically beautiful?

I take afternoon naps on the weekend.
Friends laugh at me for this, but I firmly believe in afternoon naps and plan my weekend accordingly.  A nap puts everything into perspective and has fixed many bad moods in my household.  A nap is my equivalent of a “timeout” for a 2 year old.

I take care of myself.
Even though I loathe vegetables, I force myself to eat healthy.  I also exercise regularly – although I hate that too!

I smile often.
“Keep smiling - it makes people wonder what you've been up to.”  ~Author Unknown

I stay positive.
We all have our ups and downs, but dwelling on negativity just breeds more negativity.  You have to be able to let go of the past to look to the future. 

#3 - A precious memory I keep close to my heart.

This one is a tough one.  I have so many memories that are equally special to me and since this one is optional, I’m not going to try to narrow it down and put it into words.  Maybe another day, another blog…

#4 & #5 - The beautiful people I'm sharing the Award with.

There are too many blogs to choose from, so I give everyone who reads this post, the opportunity to snag it for themselves.

You are all beautiful! 

18 February, 2010

Heard It Through A Cube Wall...Version 3.0


The saga of my neighbors in the HR Department continues.  As hard as they are to believe, these are true stories – based on true accounts. 

I try not to engage these individuals in conversation because, honestly - I just don’t have the energy.  BUT since I happen to sit in close vicinity to them, I can’t hide from their stupid questions or avoid getting sucked into their conversations.


HR Assistant:   (yelling over the wall at me) - How do you spell “dub-a-u”?

Me:  Huh?

HR Assistant:  I said, how do you spell “dub-ah-u”?

Me:  Do you have something in your mouth?  What language are you speaking?

HR Assistant:  I’m not speaking anything.  I’m trying to type the word “dub-a-hu” and spell check is telling me it is spelled wrong.

Me:  Are you trying the type the word “W”, as in the letter “W”, as in I’m taking a WALK?

HR Assistant:  Yes


Me:  (sarcastic tone) (shocking I know!) I don’t know, check www.dictionary.com and while you’re at it, can you check on how you spell the letter “B” for me.

HR Assistant:  That one’s easy.  It’s B-E-E.

I had to leave my desk because I was convulsing with laughter. 


HR Assistant:  I’m allergic to tomatoes.

Me:      Really?  That would be horrible.  I would die if I couldn’t eat spaghetti sauce, toasted tomato sandwiches or even ketchup.

HR Assistant:   Oh, I can eat ketchup.

Me:  Really?  But I thought you said you were allergic to tomatoes.

HR Assistant:  Oh I am, but tomatoes come from a field and ketchup comes from a bottle, so ketchup’s okay.

Me:  (silence)  There are no words...

At that point in the conversation, I had to walk away…for safety reasons…my own safety reasons, as I suspect my death will come from choking to death on my tongue or snorting coffee through my nose. 

I kid you not, these are true events!

17 February, 2010

I'm Going Places...


On my way into work this morning, I was contemplating the topic of today’s post.  I was debating whether to post about the Olympics, the potholes that litter my commute route, the hazards of 4-way stops or the emergence of skunks from their winter slumber. 
Ladies and gentlemen – you have been spared my tedium…at least for today. 
Respectfully Yours @ Here’s What I Think came along and bestowed this fantastic award on yours truly.  If you haven’t already taken a lookey at her blog, you really need to.  She is a fellow Canuck (what more is there to say), she’s witty, honest and quite honestly, I’m not sure how’s she has survived some of her daily fiascos without being arrested or at least banned for life from The Glen Abbey Golf Course.

"This award means you're really going places, Baby. You'll still be blogging about your great adventures 10 years from now, and I'll still be reading them."

{ The Rules }
1. Link back to the blogger who sent you this award
2. Post where you would like to be in 10 years
3. Pass it on to other special bloggers!

Where do I hope to be in 10 years?

I agree with Respectfully Yours on this one - I want my child to find joy and happiness in whatever he chooses.  I also hope to be retired, basking on a Caribbean Island with the handsome Gerard Butler my loving husband.  

I shall pass this award to the following:

16 February, 2010

What Were They Thinking?

Words cannot express my feelings - WTH?  Not that I follow the fashion of the skating world, but I do know that this was a faux pas.  Shame on their costume designer...

15 February, 2010

Happy Family Day!

Today is a holiday here in Ontario, Canada - it's Family Day.  This is a newly formed holiday - last year was the first.  I'm not complaining, it's obviously great to have a paid day off in February and as the names goes, it's meant for families.  

So here I sit with my family, sharing quality time, watching a wholesome family movie - Zombieland.  Nothing says family like the undead.

13 February, 2010

Saddest Thing Ever...Or Not...

Thanks to RenĂ©e's recent post, I was reminded of this commercial. I can't help but feeling sorry for poor Salty, even though he will certainly raise your blood pressure. 


12 February, 2010

I Bring You A Substitution...


Instead of the usual mushy love notes, chocolate hearts, flowers and pathetic teddy bears that seem to be cluttering store shelves this time of year, I wanted to bring you something a little different.
Let me introduce you to a new line of greeting cards…
 ROMANCE
Looking back over the years that we've been together,
I can't help but wonder... "What the hell was I thinking?"
*****
Congratulations on your wedding day!
Too bad no one likes your husband.
*****
I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love
After having met you .. I've changed my mind.
*****
I must admit, you brought Religion into my life.
I never believed in Hell until I met you.
*****
As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
That you're not here to ruin it for me.
*****
When we were together, you always said you'd die for me.
Now that we've broken up, I think it's time you kept your promise..
*****
I'm so miserable without you,
it's almost like you're here.
NEW BABY
How could two people as beautiful as you
Have such an ugly baby?
*****
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy.
Did you ever find out who the father was?
CONGRATULATIONS
Congratulations on your promotion.
Before you go....
Would you like to take this knife out of my back?
You'll probably need it again.
FRIENDSHIP
We have been friends for a very long time
let's say we stop?
BIRTHDAY WISHES
Your friends and I wanted to do something special for your birthday.
So we're having you put to sleep.
IN SYMPATHY
My tire was thumping.
I thought it was flat.
When I looked at the tire.
I noticed your cat.
Sorry!
*****
Heard your wife left you, how upset you must be.
But don't fret about it... She moved in with me.
*****
So your daughter's a hooker, and it spoiled your day..
Look at the bright side, it's really good pay. 
 

11 February, 2010

Thursday Travel Tips...


“Know Before You Go…What the Guidebooks Won’t Tell You”

PLEASE NOTE: 
The facts presented here may or may not have been exaggerated, but they have been based on true life experiences – by me.  I should also point out that this is not a paid advertisement.
I should also point out that the opinions expressed here are my own and while I’ve poked fun at the experiences, they were truly unique and I enjoyed every moment of them. 
This week’s travel advisory/tip is brought to you by Ecuador and more particularly, the Ecuadorian Cloud Forest.
Things you should know:
  • Your bus driver/guide believes his bus is surrounded by an imaginary force-field and that he is invincible to oncoming traffic, ravines or pedestrians.  He will take great pride in getting you to your destination in record time, regardless of the cost or loss of life – including yours, his or anyone else that gets in his way.    In summary, they are bat shit crazy and will succeed in trying to scare the living shit out of you and no amount of swearing can convince them to slow down, drive on the correct side of the road or drive off the railroad tracks.
  • The tap water is not potable.  At most accommodations, you will be provided with a choice of “regular” or “bubbly” bottled water for use when brushing your teeth.  May I suggest you choose “regular”?  Turns out “bubbly” water is the equivalent of carbonated water and to my surprise - carbonated water and tooth paste do not mix.  Can you say foaming at the mouth?
  • Be cautious of drinking any form of yogurt based products while traveling to higher altitudes.   Turns out – yogurt drinks and higher altitudes will also make you foam at the mouth.  Who knew?  I do now.
  • The term “eco lodge” can be loosely translated to:   “no meat or animal products are served here” or “be sure to dispose of your toilet paper in the garbage can beside the toilet”.
  • At said “eco lodge”, beer is cheaper than Coca Cola, Pepsi, coffee or tea – a lot cheaper.  I’ve learned you can travel well within a modest budget and subsist for a week on little more than beer and popcorn.  In summary, if you don’t like beer or popcorn, you may die…of starvation.

Now you know...Happy Travels...

10 February, 2010

Struggling...

I’m still struggling with nothing. 

I typically have something to say, but certainly not today. 

My co-workers have developed the common sense to keep their mouths shut, so that material has dried up for the time being. 

There haven’t been any new management fiascos to focus my energy on, so I’m left with a gaping hole of nothingness on that front. 

It’s still winter and I’m sure that by now you have concluded that I despise winter, so there isn’t any new material there. 

I’ve completely lost the willingness to even log onto Facebook since certain “friends” have become a festering sore in my side. 

Truth be told, I’m getting a cold and am just not thinking clearly and everyone knows you need clarity if you’re going to intelligently rant about something. 

It’s pretty bad when I don’t even have the energy to muster up a single thing to bitch about. I’m going home to bed.

09 February, 2010

Random Tuesday Thoughts...

If you're looking for some great entertainment, be sure to pop over and visit The Un Mom. If you're looking for some other form of entertainment, read on.
  • My son received his first college acceptance letter in the mail. He has been accepted to the Multimedia Production & Design Technician program at Humber College in Toronto. He’s still holding out for the Film and Television Production program. I’m hopeful his wishes will come true.
  • My baby boy is growing up and now, I have the tuition bill to prove it. I’m so proud of him, but at the same time, I’m not sure I’m 100% in love with the idea. *sigh*
  • Most days, I’m still in love my husband, but I’m not sure how I feel about sharing an “empty nest” with him. God help us both.

That’s enough about that depressing subject…

  • My boss will be returning from his vacation today. Not that he is a bad guy or anything, but I’ll be the first to admit that I like my job much better when he is out of the office.
  • Everything that was an “emergency” last week that I was unable to deal with on my own - will today, become a full blown pandemic.
  • This past weekend, I went to see “From Paris With Love”, starring John Travolta and Jonathan Rhys-Meyers. It won’t be nominated for any academy awards, but it had plenty of action, violence, attitude and gun play. John Travolta’s character was over-the-top and fun. If there was one negative - I would have to say it was Jonathan Rhys-Meyers’ moustache.
  • We are expecting a snow storm tomorrow. Even though I hate winter, I really hope a blizzard arrives. I could use a “snow day”.